Guys, how important is it for your wife to take your name? Girls, would you take your husbands last name?

[ImSparkly]

In many western cultures a wife takes her husbands name in some way or another upon marriage. How important is this to you? Girls, would you take his name? Hyphenate it? Keep yours?

I'd feel disrespected or sad if she didn't take my last name/I'm keeping my last name

I'd be ok if she hyphenated our last names/I plan to hyphenate our names

I'm ok with her keeping her last name/I am keeping my last name.

Something else...

I have no clue what I would do Sparky.

Updates

+1 y

So I just got married a week and a half ago and am debating on what to do. We both have three syllable last names, so hyphenating them is too freaking long. I'm not fully established professionally yet (only cited in three research papers, and my portfolio is still growing). Taking his name is an easy option and would be 'cleaner' for the future. Hubby said he is ok with whatever I choose.

[theacewins1]

Hyphenated is annoying to spell and to remember and to say. And I want to have the same name as my kids one day, so I would definitely take my husbands name if I get married. It's just a lot less confusing.

[Yyyyu]

I love my last name not losing it and if you are a writer or researcher than you should never change your surname

[Dragonpurple]

I told my wife that she didn't have to change her name but it would make things easier from a legal stand point.

Those that keep their names, historically have issues when it comes to legal things. Even filing taxes jointly can cause an audit cause of it.

The other thing is one couple I know she kept her last name, and people thought she was still single and kept hitting on her. She decided to finally take her husbands name years later and it helped. However the first six months she could have changed her name for free, but now had to hire an attorney to do it.

[backdoorman]

I would not marry a woman who wouldn't take my last name, partly because of the practicality of sharing the same last name, and partly because of what it says about her mindset and worldview and her attitude toward men and marriage.

This is one of the few remaining benefits to marriage for men. Something to think about.

[Yyyyu]

What if she is researcher or writer changing your surname is not practical for them

[backdoorman]

@Yyyyu That would be OK.

[ImSparkly]

last few benefits? I beg to differ sweetie, but thanks for your thoughts.

[backdoorman]

As woman, I'm sure your perspective is different. But that's part of the problem. You don't see the other side of the issue, and that is one of the biggest problems contributing to the fact that marriage rates are at an all time low. Men are choosing not to get married, and unless you think they are all ignorant fools or you just don't care, you really should try to understand men's perspective. This might help...

www.eviemagazine.com/.../millions-of-men-no-longer-want-to-get-married-and-you-can-thank-the

[ImSparkly]

There’s risks and rewards to everything, but that read like a Fox News hit piece. If guys don’t want to take risks, or conversely, stick it anything with a pulse, then it’s their own fault.

[backdoorman]

That's your perspective, and while I understand you being defensive about it, it doesn't help solve the ongoing problem. Marriage has to be attractive and worthwhile for both parties or it just won't happen, which is exactly what we are seeing now. That won't change until marriage becomes more friendly to men again. Today it is simply not a good idea for most men.

[BirdshotJohn]

I want my wife & I to share a last name. If she doesn't want to take mine (it is a little odd) I'd be willing to make one of several compromises:
1. If she has an awesome last name I might be willing to take it, maaaaybe. Especially if it's a famous last name that she's descended from, say she's a descendant of Churchill and bears his name.
2. Pick a last name we can both agree on from one of our family trees.
3. Create a new last name we can both agree on and both take.

I'm strongly against hyphenated names, they cause way too much headache in my job when someone decides to start going by the second half of their hyphenated last name.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Not really that important to be honest, she doesn’t have to take my last name or hyphenated. I just know I’m not changing my last name so it’s only fair she get to choose her last name.


If we have kids then either they take my last name or they have both of our last names. Not really a big deal to me.

[Xitomyth]

It's up to you, but taking your husbands sir name doesn't erase yours. When people look you up, they should be alerted that your name has changed when the check out your previous works. You could have him take your last name. I personally just want a last name we both like and agreed on, a name for both of us, so take that how you will.

[NamerOfStars]

Name hyphenation rapidly becomes a problem when kids enter the picture; hand down the whole thing, and in just a few generations, you'll need business cards the length of a Chinese typewriter.

Anyway, I really wouldn't be bothered either way.

[ImSparkly]

Business cards, how quaint. But you do have a point. In our case it would be way too long.

[EmmaMary]

I had absolutely no hesitation at all in taking my husband's surname.
In fact, for well over a year before we married I used to practice writing what would become my new signature.

[ImSparkly]

I can’t lie, I’ve been writing out the combinations since we got engaged.

[EmmaMary]

@ImSparkly I actually found it fun and very exciting when I was experimenting and practicing.
Oh, and many, many congratulations on your marriage... May you both have a long, peaceful and healthy life together.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I honestly don't care, I'm not concerned with passing my name on to future generations. I don't want kids, and the only reason to care about this is so people know, oh, thats your kid, in hospitals, gov buildings, etc. when the couple has kids after marriage.

[The_Maphio]

I don't care at all. They could be the hottest women in the world and change their name in Ronald McDonalds if they wanted, as part of a couple, I know that the real name is hardly ever used in the everyday interactions anyway.

In the west, the idea of "keeping a dynasty rolling" is as dead as punk.

[InferiorElegy]

I'm never gonna be getting married but on the exponentially rare occurrence that a girl doesn't find me repulsive and wants to marry me, it would be her choice wether or not she takes my name or not, it's not an important thought to me especially since I know I won't ever get married.

[Apple1996]

I didn't take my husband's name. I had planned on doing it but in the end when we got married I felt like it was too much work to change it and is sort of like losing my identity so it was better that I kept my name.

[DizzyDesii]

I would like to keep my last name just to avoid document issues. My clients deal with so much stuff due to name change updates. But if he prefers i take his last name, i’ll do it

[DizzyDesii]

I wouldve hyphenated but it’ll be too long an dbe half cut off on paperwork

[HawkPerception]

I'm not really traditional except for 2 things... I want to be the one proposing and I would appreciate if she took my name. I understand equality and all, but I just really like that feeling of acceptance and continuing a family with one name.

[R3DthatDude]

It’s important to me. It’s a legacy thing. She can keep her last name as a middle name. But she should take my last name. This will not be an issue with me and my future wife because we will already be on the same page

[Unit1]

*grunt*
But yeah, your husband is right and respectfully so. The choice is yours and yours alone to make. That's the sweet thing about being given the choice and going with whatever you prefer. That sounds like real love to me.

[IronLady6354]

I took my my husband's last name when we got married.

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s important because of the tradition and for our kids. Want our kids to avoid confusion if mom and dad don’t share the same name.

[BarryLiverstone]

Congrats on getting married. Taking his name only helps you bond further and remember a wedding is all about 2 people becoming one unit.

[ODC2112]

In country were I live, Italy, after getting married, the wife adds that of her husband to her surname, however only the original one appears on the documents for sake of semplicity, in other words she can use both surnames.

[modelUN242]

I think hyphenating is stupid. I would take his last name.

[Miyasee_]

I don’t know maybe. I can keep both if i can have a good career

[ImSparkly]

I’ve thought of doing that too, keep my maiden name for professional purposes and take his for business and social.