Why are people so offended when a woman proposes to her boyfriend?

Question

I’ve ran across a video on Twitter of this woman proposing to her boyfriend and everyone in the comments was in disgust and calling her silly, desperate, stupid, and telling her to get off her knee etc.

I personally wouldn’t ask my boyfriend to be my husband, but if it’s another couple swapping roles, I honestly don’t see a problem with it because that’s their relationship and it doesn’t affect anyone but them.

Most women are all about gender equality but why shame another woman for proposing to HER man? As long as they’re both happy then what’s the problem?

But knowing how Twitter is, a lot of those people just find anything to complain and whine about. The comments were ridiculous.

What are your thoughts about it?

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

Some people find it emasculating, like the boyfriend is a "woman" or effeminate or something. I don't think it's bad that the woman is doing the proposing (although I can see why other women would hate on her), but I do think it's slightly inconsiderate to potentially emasculate her partner like that.

Furthermore, weddings (and by extension, marriage in general) pretty much ONLY benefit women; they're pointless to men unless they want to be fathers, so one could also argue that having her proposing is pressuring him into something he may not want, such as an expensive-ass wedding, and all this other crap I don't see the appeal of modern women wanting. Like, he may love her and all, but don't want to be pressured into a big fancy wedding he can't afford right now (in COVID times), and if he said no, she would break up with him. One could argue he's losing something big, ether way, and that the woman shouldn't put that kind of pressure on him.

But if he's cool with it all and she knows him well enough to where he wouldn't mind, then okay, I guess. I don't take an issue with a woman proposing, but I do take an issue of her getting down on one knee to do so. That's a bit much.

And regarding your statement, most women DON'T seem to be about "gender equality;" they just want the perks that 1% of the most successful males have, with literally none of the responsibilities or negatives 99% of men have to face on a daily basis. Modern women are literally some of the most protected and coddled women on the planet, and very few of them are willing to give that up. I'm not disparaging women by saying this; it's simply a fact.

And yes, Twitter is a dumpster fire. Literally no non-celebrity or non-entrepreneur should be on Twitter.

sixxx · Accepted Answer

Because that's the standard norm in this world and the role that has been accepted for long long time ago till now. It's the culture too.

Your question is like why man is the head (leader) of family but not women?
Or why man should be the one to take a responsible for finance need in a family and give allowance to his wife and family but not women?

Or why men are allowed to show off his bare chest in public but not women?
Or why women could pregnant and suffer to born a baby but not men?
And so on...

To put it in short men and women have different roles and if both of them switch roles then it's unacceptable for society.
Both of men and women could have same roles but only to certain things and can not just completely switch roles at all.

Honestly if women propose to men look weird for me. I mean as a man I would feel like I'm embarassed to feel that and lose my manliness.

If she is the one who tells me her feeling first that she likes me or loves me for example and not propose, that might still be acceptable for me. There are tolerance to which things that could be acceptable for society and we need to understand that.

If I were her, let's say I really like the man and want to be with him. Instead of propose him, I would think of a way how to make him to propose me. If he's serious with her feeling, for sure the man will propose her instead of making her propose to him.

PeacefulRainDrop · Accepted Answer

I much rather wait for my man to propose then to propose to him! We found eachother thats what matters im not in any rush to get married honestly rather get a house first in my name only so if cheating or abuse happens I can stay there... if we were married Id be more obligated to have a joint house than splitting half of everything.. id rather just take care of the house myself if things go wrong in our relationship then hed take all thats his... just our dog we share id pay whatever price he wanted to be able to keep.. the other 3 were mine before he was.. marriage will happen when it happens its just a piece of paper anyway Id be honored to take his last name... he wants to get married so do I.. I would rather a covid wedding he wants an actual wedding I just said its up to him.. we both have never been married.. I asked him what hed do if I proposed to him he said please dont he's looking forward to it... would take the fun out of it for him hed be ashamed to tell everyone I proposed cause he views it as his job and its a job he actually wants.. these are just our thoughts..

But just cause I wouldn't personally do it doesn't mean id condemn it if I saw it... id depend on how the guy responded is what id base my opinions on if he was all for it id say Wow hats off girl!! You have more guts than me! Congrats... if he didn't like it id say its one of the few jobs men have why rush it? Why not question him if he sees marriage in your future? I think people should live and let other people live as long as both parties are happy and no one is hurting then whats the big deal? People need to chill

Siren777 · Accepted Answer

Just because someone doesn't agree with the way you do things or you don't agree with the way they do. Doesn't mean it should or shouldn't be done. I've seen a friend do this, she loves the guy and he said yes and they're happy - so I am happy that she's happy. Personally I wouldn't as I like things a bit more traditional. Besides it's not my business so why would I get upset and judge someone else. Society have rules and standards for everything - just think outside the box and the world goes crazy over little things.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I find it funny that some men complain that a woman doesn't ask a man out, doesn't propose and then, when one does, it's an issue... But the only opinion they matters is the woman who proposed and the man she proposed to. People can do what's right for them but have no say what others do in their relationships

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

It’s an actual thing on leap years - Girls will propose to Guys , shock it’s been a thing for centuries.

these days one half of the future partnership proposes to the other half.

sounds okay to me.

Then of course a Lesbian couple, imagine having to wait for a leap year, yeah bugger it will ask her Tuesday.

girls can ask guys
guys can ask girls
guys can ask guys
girls can ask girls.

oh and of course, this includes pagan, Celtic, etc
or even just asking the other person if they say ‘let’s just live together’

ZackBan · Answer

People on Twitter enjoy minding other people's business.
It would be really a simpler life everyone stayed in their lane and didn't judge others based on their beliefs.

And that's for both love and hate alike. No one is wrong to love and no one is wrong to hate it's just how life turns out for some people and by accepting others the way they are we can all co-exist in peace.

Hanrej · Answer

My thoughts are that most people are used to women excerting control from below. If a woman wants to get married she MAKES a man propose.
If she wants to have sex, she TEASE her man into wanting her.
In many other situations another form of manipulation occurs.
Most find this equal as it is a way for the woman to excert som measure of power in a relationship.

However, what people arn't used to, not even women who claim to want equality, is women taking initiative. Real power.
If a woman wants to get married, she propose.
If a woman wants to have sex she tells him so etc.

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

Personally I’m not a fan of it because it seems like it’s out of desperation to get married. If a man isn’t going out of his way to ring a girl up it’s either because he isn’t ready to or doesn’t want to. I think women push marriage into men way too much instead of just enjoying a relationship. I know people want to be those people that want to avoid tradition but jeez.

grega239 · Answer

Because it's traditional for men to kneel and propose.

"Will you marry me" can be translated to"will you take me into your service".

Marriage proposal is basically a man proclaiming his loyalty and to show his willingness to be her provide and protector.

This may make me sound like a white knight simp, but I would never allow a woman to propose to me because it's my role as a man to be in service to my wife.

It's my job as a man to make sure she is provided for and to act as a shield.

Anonymous · Answer

I think there are a couple of reasons for this. The perception is that men pursue women and not the reverse, so when a woman asks a man to marry her it seems backward and desperate. It's also because in the past marriage was something that benefitted a man and he felt lucky to get a woman to agree to marry him. That's why he got on his knee to ask her. But today marriage does not benefit most men nearly as much as in the past which is why marriage rates are at an all time low. As a result the perception is changing and we are going to see a lot more women proposing.

joaoalves993 · Answer

Thats the thing in romance the man likes to lead and the women likes to be led. All of this gender equality sounds good but when it comes to real life more often than not people don't want that. You can make a women to think like a man and vice versa.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

They shame the woman because gender equality isn't possible. How is a woman gonna ask me to protect and provide for her for the rest of my life? Its my choice to ask her, she can't protect and provide for me. If a man says yes to a womans proposal she will wear the pants in their relationship. Im proud of my masculinity and if she wants to be in a mans place so badly she should have an operation

Leavesbound · Answer

I certainly would not mind. I have proposed to five women in my life and all said no and three kept the ring anyways. I won't be proposing to anyone any more. If a woman wanted to marry me she'll have to ask me. I've reached my lifetime quota of heart break.

Adam1978 · Answer

It would be flattering, I don't see the offence, especially with all the feminism screaming and blaming men, women will have to take the step or they will probably not get their wish. Their actions make men step away from traditional roles and keep a safe distance, doesn't change what they would want but it's no longer worth it for most men.

Novacane · Answer

Because a lot of people still link proposing to something masculine or something that a man has to do and never a woman. So when people see that, they would usually assume the girl is the "man" in the relationship. I feel like many women want equality but when equality does not go in their favor, then they are against it.

serious · Answer

Well, really if a woman did that to me I would be honoured and will appreciate her effort, her courage. I won't accept that proposal that is a different thing and as a man I don't see anything wrong or a problem with that either.

The fact is still there is good portion of the society that is still old fashioned in their thinking, they are traditional, conservative and have not changed their thinking and have not evolved. There is nothing one can do about such sections of society.

Miristheiss · Answer

I wouldn't like it because I am traditional and it is the man's place to propose.
If she's felt him out and knows ahead of time he's ok with the woman taking on this task I guess that is between them alone.
If he expects to propose and plans to propose and then she whips it on him expecting him to relinquish his role and honor as a man for the sake of her "equality", then that couple may have an issue. Maybe she should wear a tux and he wear a white dress? You know... equality.

RachelBrooke · Answer

I’m not offended at all, but I do find it kind of weird. I suppose you could say I’m a little traditional. But if people want it the other way around, more power to you.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not offended by this. It shouldn't matter who asks as long as they are happy together. It's no one's business but their own.

MyNameJames · Answer

Because they're stuck in their ways. Some guys and girls just can't move past these stupid norms. If you love someone no matter your gender it should be okay for you to let them know in whatever way you want.

Anonymous · Answer

I think mostly bc men do the marriage thing for women. I think most men would be content just dating forever. When they decide to commit its bc they’ve decided that their life with you is better than without you. And plus old traditions have come to be bc it’s the way it works best. You might be the exception but men like to do the pursuing and women like to be pursued.

Abtraction · Answer

lmao, in the future most women will beg to get married. Any man willing to get married is either ignorant or stupid. Men everywhere are educating other men to all the risks, and far too many men have heard all the horror stories.

Way too risky to marry for a man, or even have kids.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

It is emasculating the man. Marriage is a TRADITIONAL institution, with the man as head of the family and the wife as head of the home. I'd you don't believe in these thing there is no reason to get married.

THIS is why the woman proposing is so absurd.

Mangospacho · Answer

Because he still has to pay for the ring and she gets to wear the ring. So when she pops the question and he says No then she just wears the ring he paid for anyway and finds someone else to be with. Either way it’s just showing off something she picked out for him to pay for.

DaisyM23 · Answer

Meh, I personally wouldn’t, maybe if it wasn’t in public but who knows. Anyways, it’s up to the couple. You do you

FictionalCharacter · Answer

I’m not offended by this. But I do feel sorry for the girl purposing first before the man. Cause it seems like the girl is more into the guy than he is of her to not purpose to her. Which is heartbreaking.

Derekk · Answer

Because people still think that marriage is something that men "give" to women, and if you ask for it, it means you're desperate.

The irony is that even though I would happily propose myself, I would never do so for women like that.

Paul09 · Answer

People are dumb asses. Why else? And a lot of women are entitled. You have to ask them out, you have to pay for them, You have to ask them to get married. What work do they have to do? Overall I find marriage silly. But there's no rule that the man has to do all the asking.

Jaylaaa2000 · Answer

People are stuck in their ways and the ego takes over because someone does something different than them it infuriates them.
I look at it like this. Ignore the ignorant and enjoy your life who you want.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

People getting mad about that... Wait till you hear about simply ✨not getting married ✨

Anonymous · Answer

It offends women’s ego. If one woman bends the knee to a man then it makes it possible for any of them to do it. It’s collective bargaining.

If they all convince each other never to compromise and demand more then none of them can be expected to do things like that or compromise. So women who don’t play that game are seens as scabs to the female union.

lipsm · Answer

It goes against the "social norms". Humans don't like changes, changes are unpredictable and our species enjoys having a predictable outcome of a determined situation. In a relationship, we "expect" the man to propose to the woman because that's what we grew up with.
It there's a problem about a woman proposing to a man? Of course not, do it if you feel like doing so! It will make an amazing story to tell your grandchildren

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

They are stupid. I agree with you. If you want equality, you should not hate on women/men when they dont follow the gender roles. It is ok if a woman wanna propose a man and it is also ok when a guy want to be a housewife

RedSauce · Answer

Your title could have used a “some” inserted in there because I am pretty sure this isn’t a widespread thing

_Troian_ · Answer

Dont care about people just do what you want to do.

GoldenTulip · Answer

It is not my style... but.. i wouldn't care if others do it like that. Its their life. Who are we to judge?

anon_teen · Answer

People are dumb who cares who proposes? If they are happy than congratulations to them. It shouldn't matter. If a man can do it so can a woman.

stormiigrl · Answer

I don't see it as a bad thing. If guys can so it so can girls :)

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Its like the equivalent of a man trying to bully a girl into giving up her virginity. Thats a big part of why many people are offended. Women control sex and men control relationships. Thats just how it is.

Anonymous · Answer

Female empowerment and autonomy is only acceptable to the social media crowd when they are making decisions that the social media crowd find acceptable.
The problem of free will is that they are free to make the 'wrong' decisions.

BakedBeanieBabie · Answer

Because women literally can't do anything right, according to men and other women.

iknowaguy45 · Answer

When a girl proposes to a man to me it shows he’s not man enough to get shit done. That’s just me tho.

Philyouup · Answer

i don’t know any that get offended. probably because i dont pay attention to morons. I think it’s great, a girl should know she has every right to do that.

amaguqe · Answer

From a pure biological perspective, it is always a male that's giving something to attract the female, since the female is the one that actually "pays the price" of intimacy.

Shiver · Answer

Twitter never knows what it wants. No one really cares.

Anonymous · Answer

well what do you expect from social media? or society as a whole? i personally find it weird. but it's not my life...

Anonymous · Answer

People look for reason to start shit, look just don't be desperate and do what U gotta do. Happy trails! Fight da power! Did he marry you? https://youtu. be/s4H6kjH8I8Y

pleasestopthis · Answer

They're stupid. I'd like to propose if I had a partner I wanted to marry, but now I'm having second thoughts because of people saying BS.

TheFlak38 · Answer

why should we be offended? this kind of desperation is hilarious

Browneye57 · Answer

Cuz any woman that thinks she's the man is in for a world of disappointment. A woman is simply not a man.  It's like saying men can have babies. Our whole society has been turned upside down.

legalboxers · Answer

They dont like it when women assume the position to do certain things because the Bible.. erm.. Politician.. Erm... Talking heads tell them how its suppose to be!

emperor_awesome · Answer

I think the guys are pretty jealous that they never got a girl to propose them.. 😁.. Now I am not sure for what reason will girls get offended if s girl is proposing her guy

BillHe1 · Answer

Well if he doesn't have the nerve then I'm glad she does, even to be different.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I don't know anyone who would ever give half a crap.

Anonymous · Answer

Those idiots got nothing better to do than hating on others. They should mind their own business.

Rok4bakAR · Answer

Social construct 90% of people follow. They get offended again because of social construct people see what makes them look good not what they think.

WowwGirl · Answer

It's pathetic she can't wait or is that desperate that she trys to be the man and by him a dang ring to purpose

karaspara · Answer

I know a few women who have been the ones to propose that video sounds terrible

K-I-S-S · Answer

I can understand why his wife would be mad, but other than that no valid reason to for anybody else.

MrPlentiful · Answer

I agree getting on a knee for someone is silly and desperate if thats girls idea of a romantic guy, fuck it, romance is stupid

Anonymous · Answer

The people who didn't give a shit didn't comment, so the sample is biased.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

many people are still very conservative and traditional

Anonymous · Answer

Women should not propose because they are very emotional and if it backfired, they might not recover from the humiliation. So its very risky in my opinion.

Why are people so offended when a woman proposes to her boyfriend?

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