Why are people so offended when a woman proposes to her boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I’ve ran across a video on Twitter of this woman proposing to her boyfriend and everyone in the comments was in disgust and calling her silly, desperate, stupid, and telling her to get off her knee etc.

I personally wouldn’t ask my boyfriend to be my husband, but if it’s another couple swapping roles, I honestly don’t see a problem with it because that’s their relationship and it doesn’t affect anyone but them.

Most women are all about gender equality but why shame another woman for proposing to HER man? As long as they’re both happy then what’s the problem?

But knowing how Twitter is, a lot of those people just find anything to complain and whine about. The comments were ridiculous.

What are your thoughts about it?

[MCheetah]

Some people find it emasculating, like the boyfriend is a "woman" or effeminate or something. I don't think it's bad that the woman is doing the proposing (although I can see why other women would hate on her), but I do think it's slightly inconsiderate to potentially emasculate her partner like that.

Furthermore, weddings (and by extension, marriage in general) pretty much ONLY benefit women; they're pointless to men unless they want to be fathers, so one could also argue that having her proposing is pressuring him into something he may not want, such as an expensive-ass wedding, and all this other crap I don't see the appeal of modern women wanting. Like, he may love her and all, but don't want to be pressured into a big fancy wedding he can't afford right now (in COVID times), and if he said no, she would break up with him. One could argue he's losing something big, ether way, and that the woman shouldn't put that kind of pressure on him.

But if he's cool with it all and she knows him well enough to where he wouldn't mind, then okay, I guess. I don't take an issue with a woman proposing, but I do take an issue of her getting down on one knee to do so. That's a bit much.

And regarding your statement, most women DON'T seem to be about "gender equality;" they just want the perks that 1% of the most successful males have, with literally none of the responsibilities or negatives 99% of men have to face on a daily basis. Modern women are literally some of the most protected and coddled women on the planet, and very few of them are willing to give that up. I'm not disparaging women by saying this; it's simply a fact.

And yes, Twitter is a dumpster fire. Literally no non-celebrity or non-entrepreneur should be on Twitter.

[sixxx]

Because that's the standard norm in this world and the role that has been accepted for long long time ago till now. It's the culture too.

Your question is like why man is the head (leader) of family but not women?
Or why man should be the one to take a responsible for finance need in a family and give allowance to his wife and family but not women?

Or why men are allowed to show off his bare chest in public but not women?
Or why women could pregnant and suffer to born a baby but not men?
And so on...

To put it in short men and women have different roles and if both of them switch roles then it's unacceptable for society.
Both of men and women could have same roles but only to certain things and can not just completely switch roles at all.

Honestly if women propose to men look weird for me. I mean as a man I would feel like I'm embarassed to feel that and lose my manliness.

If she is the one who tells me her feeling first that she likes me or loves me for example and not propose, that might still be acceptable for me. There are tolerance to which things that could be acceptable for society and we need to understand that.

If I were her, let's say I really like the man and want to be with him. Instead of propose him, I would think of a way how to make him to propose me. If he's serious with her feeling, for sure the man will propose her instead of making her propose to him.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

I much rather wait for my man to propose then to propose to him! We found eachother thats what matters im not in any rush to get married honestly rather get a house first in my name only so if cheating or abuse happens I can stay there... if we were married Id be more obligated to have a joint house than splitting half of everything.. id rather just take care of the house myself if things go wrong in our relationship then hed take all thats his... just our dog we share id pay whatever price he wanted to be able to keep.. the other 3 were mine before he was.. marriage will happen when it happens its just a piece of paper anyway Id be honored to take his last name... he wants to get married so do I.. I would rather a covid wedding he wants an actual wedding I just said its up to him.. we both have never been married.. I asked him what hed do if I proposed to him he said please dont he's looking forward to it... would take the fun out of it for him hed be ashamed to tell everyone I proposed cause he views it as his job and its a job he actually wants.. these are just our thoughts..

But just cause I wouldn't personally do it doesn't mean id condemn it if I saw it... id depend on how the guy responded is what id base my opinions on if he was all for it id say Wow hats off girl!! You have more guts than me! Congrats... if he didn't like it id say its one of the few jobs men have why rush it? Why not question him if he sees marriage in your future? I think people should live and let other people live as long as both parties are happy and no one is hurting then whats the big deal? People need to chill

[Paul09]

"we" found each other? Or he found you? I bet he asked you out too? Must be hard sitting their looking pretty.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Actually we found each other on okcupid.. so we both had to say yes to the other one to chat.. and there's a compatibility score we were 92% a match so I used the questions we didn't agree on as conservation starters.. actually didn't sit looking pretty since I stopped wearing make up about a year before we met.. put it on twice since I've known him.. my cousins zoom wedding cause of covid and his moms birthday.. was going to wear it first time I met him but I over slept abd didn't want him to think I stood him up.. so I showered and did my hair instead of taking 15 mins extra to do my make up rather be there on time.. and he pulled into the parking lot right after me he drove an hour to meet me.. I drove 10 mins.. but we took turns going back and forth every weekend until covid hit.. went through the first wave together but in two different places then before the second wave came the animals (2 cats and a dog) and I moved in plus we got a puppy.. and actually before covid I was wanting to kiss him we were spending all our time together we could.. I didn't want to get close to him if he was still entertaining other ladies so I asked him what are we? He said damn I was gonna ask you out tonight.. I said ohh well the answer is yes.. what took you so long? He gave me a kiss on the forehead.. when he was done I went for his lips I just gave him a peck shyly turned away when we met eyes again he gave me a passionate kiss on the lips.. is love is what I always dreamed about.. just our different standings on covid is the only thing creating division between us.

[Siren777]

Just because someone doesn't agree with the way you do things or you don't agree with the way they do. Doesn't mean it should or shouldn't be done. I've seen a friend do this, she loves the guy and he said yes and they're happy - so I am happy that she's happy. Personally I wouldn't as I like things a bit more traditional. Besides it's not my business so why would I get upset and judge someone else. Society have rules and standards for everything - just think outside the box and the world goes crazy over little things.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I find it funny that some men complain that a woman doesn't ask a man out, doesn't propose and then, when one does, it's an issue... But the only opinion they matters is the woman who proposed and the man she proposed to. People can do what's right for them but have no say what others do in their relationships

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s an actual thing on leap years - Girls will propose to Guys , shock it’s been a thing for centuries.

these days one half of the future partnership proposes to the other half.

sounds okay to me.

Then of course a Lesbian couple, imagine having to wait for a leap year, yeah bugger it will ask her Tuesday.

girls can ask guys
guys can ask girls
guys can ask guys
girls can ask girls.

oh and of course, this includes pagan, Celtic, etc
or even just asking the other person if they say ‘let’s just live together’

[ZackBan]

People on Twitter enjoy minding other people's business.
It would be really a simpler life everyone stayed in their lane and didn't judge others based on their beliefs.

And that's for both love and hate alike. No one is wrong to love and no one is wrong to hate it's just how life turns out for some people and by accepting others the way they are we can all co-exist in peace.

[Hanrej]

My thoughts are that most people are used to women excerting control from below. If a woman wants to get married she MAKES a man propose.
If she wants to have sex, she TEASE her man into wanting her.
In many other situations another form of manipulation occurs.
Most find this equal as it is a way for the woman to excert som measure of power in a relationship.

However, what people arn't used to, not even women who claim to want equality, is women taking initiative. Real power.
If a woman wants to get married, she propose.
If a woman wants to have sex she tells him so etc.

[kyleelyn199723]

Personally I’m not a fan of it because it seems like it’s out of desperation to get married. If a man isn’t going out of his way to ring a girl up it’s either because he isn’t ready to or doesn’t want to. I think women push marriage into men way too much instead of just enjoying a relationship. I know people want to be those people that want to avoid tradition but jeez.

[Lilbrown]

Darling you are 100% correct. A man will marry the woman that captures his heart. Her asking for his hand is silly and asinine..

This is my opinion:

In most successful marriages the man loves and adores his wife. She is the NO.1 human on earth. His love is equivalent to a woman's love for her child. If he is not asking then you are not the one..

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Lilbrown
With your way of thinking I could say if she is not asking then he is not the one

[kyleelyn199723]

@MysteriousDarkness false because it is not in tradition for a woman to ask. And yes tradition means something. Sorry to the folks that are totally against tradition, but if it’s not tradition, it shouldn’t be expected.

[Lilbrown]

@MysteriousDarkness Women are great at hinting at what they want! Trust me! You will know how she feels! As a leader and guide you must be will to take on the responsibility of being a husband. A man that does not ask is not prepared either mentally, spiritually, physically and/or financially. It could be a combination or all the above. Maybe he is just a simp allowing her to be both husband and wife..

[grega239]

Because it's traditional for men to kneel and propose.

"Will you marry me" can be translated to"will you take me into your service".

Marriage proposal is basically a man proclaiming his loyalty and to show his willingness to be her provide and protector.

This may make me sound like a white knight simp, but I would never allow a woman to propose to me because it's my role as a man to be in service to my wife.

It's my job as a man to make sure she is provided for and to act as a shield.

[Anonymous]

I think there are a couple of reasons for this. The perception is that men pursue women and not the reverse, so when a woman asks a man to marry her it seems backward and desperate. It's also because in the past marriage was something that benefitted a man and he felt lucky to get a woman to agree to marry him. That's why he got on his knee to ask her. But today marriage does not benefit most men nearly as much as in the past which is why marriage rates are at an all time low. As a result the perception is changing and we are going to see a lot more women proposing.

[joaoalves993]

Thats the thing in romance the man likes to lead and the women likes to be led. All of this gender equality sounds good but when it comes to real life more often than not people don't want that. You can make a women to think like a man and vice versa.

[Mofunfour20]

They shame the woman because gender equality isn't possible. How is a woman gonna ask me to protect and provide for her for the rest of my life? Its my choice to ask her, she can't protect and provide for me. If a man says yes to a womans proposal she will wear the pants in their relationship. Im proud of my masculinity and if she wants to be in a mans place so badly she should have an operation

[Leavesbound]

I certainly would not mind. I have proposed to five women in my life and all said no and three kept the ring anyways. I won't be proposing to anyone any more. If a woman wanted to marry me she'll have to ask me. I've reached my lifetime quota of heart break.

[Adam1978]

It would be flattering, I don't see the offence, especially with all the feminism screaming and blaming men, women will have to take the step or they will probably not get their wish. Their actions make men step away from traditional roles and keep a safe distance, doesn't change what they would want but it's no longer worth it for most men.

[Novacane]

Because a lot of people still link proposing to something masculine or something that a man has to do and never a woman. So when people see that, they would usually assume the girl is the "man" in the relationship. I feel like many women want equality but when equality does not go in their favor, then they are against it.

[serious]

Well, really if a woman did that to me I would be honoured and will appreciate her effort, her courage. I won't accept that proposal that is a different thing and as a man I don't see anything wrong or a problem with that either.

The fact is still there is good portion of the society that is still old fashioned in their thinking, they are traditional, conservative and have not changed their thinking and have not evolved. There is nothing one can do about such sections of society.

[Miristheiss]

I wouldn't like it because I am traditional and it is the man's place to propose.
If she's felt him out and knows ahead of time he's ok with the woman taking on this task I guess that is between them alone.
If he expects to propose and plans to propose and then she whips it on him expecting him to relinquish his role and honor as a man for the sake of her "equality", then that couple may have an issue. Maybe she should wear a tux and he wear a white dress? You know... equality.

[RachelBrooke]

I’m not offended at all, but I do find it kind of weird. I suppose you could say I’m a little traditional. But if people want it the other way around, more power to you.

[Anonymous]

I'm not offended by this. It shouldn't matter who asks as long as they are happy together. It's no one's business but their own.

[Asker]

Exactly

[MyNameJames]

Because they're stuck in their ways. Some guys and girls just can't move past these stupid norms. If you love someone no matter your gender it should be okay for you to let them know in whatever way you want.

[Anonymous]

I think mostly bc men do the marriage thing for women. I think most men would be content just dating forever. When they decide to commit its bc they’ve decided that their life with you is better than without you. And plus old traditions have come to be bc it’s the way it works best. You might be the exception but men like to do the pursuing and women like to be pursued.

[Abtraction]

lmao, in the future most women will beg to get married. Any man willing to get married is either ignorant or stupid. Men everywhere are educating other men to all the risks, and far too many men have heard all the horror stories.

Way too risky to marry for a man, or even have kids.

[KrakenAttackin]

It is emasculating the man. Marriage is a TRADITIONAL institution, with the man as head of the family and the wife as head of the home. I'd you don't believe in these thing there is no reason to get married.

THIS is why the woman proposing is so absurd.