Do you think more marriages would survive if spouses lived apart?

[Anonymous]

Apparently, four million married couples in the US live apart. I know that there are a number of reasons for this, but how many are doing it because it actually improves the marriage?

[hahahmm]

There's a theory that it's better if people can get quality alone time when they need it BUT that assumes that they are also faithful. Being alone in your own house for 3 hours or with same sex friend doing yoga is one thing. Being alone with the opposite sex is a whole different thing. So I'd say having more space is just icing on the cake of a successful marriage not what makes a marriage successful.

[TurboKid]

The idea was always interesting to me. You could avoid showing your ugly and slob side and just see each other when you feel like it. I have always noticed an easier time being passionate for each other over the dating process, no matter how long we dated, before living together and doing each other's laundry.

Might be a bit impractical though with kids in the mix.

[TurboKid]

I don't feel like I need it with my wife since we actually live together extremely well (and tried before marriage). But I had two exes before my wife with whom we lived together, and it was like everything was going great while we were dating and turned to shit when we started living together.

[Asker]

But many couples with kids are able to function well with joint custody or some other similar arrangement.

[TurboKid]

I think the kids would be better off with both parents nearby for every problem that arises. Maybe not so bad if the parents are neighbors to each other, but I don't think there should be a great distance between mother and father for the sake of the kids.

[TurboKid]

It's like if I have a daughter and she asks me about being a woman and she starts menstruating, I have no clue! I need my wife immediately! So it helps if she's very nearby. And say we have a son and he's bullied or something. I don't want my wife to handle that. I will so that I can teach him to stand up for himself without stooping to his enemy's level.

[Asker]

I think many kids are screwed up because they grow up in dysfunctional families. I think it actually may be better for the kids if the parents lived separately. Then, the kids don't have to be subjected to the nastiness between married parents who live together.

[TurboKid]

I do think that's better if the parents are nasty. My wife and I actually live together very well. No fights and heated arguments. so I think if a couple is prone to that, maybe some physical distance would help... but ideally neighbors in my opinion and not like 30+ miles away.

[TurboKid]

Just being next-door neighbors is a massive difference over living together as I see it.

[Asker]

You can be close by, but you definitely don't need to live together. Typically, this decision is made by a judge because the married parents can't or won't make the decision for their sake and the sake of the kids.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

This is a good question. As someone who loves living alone and greatly values time spent to myself, living together is one of the things about being in a relationship that turns me off of the idea. I think too much time around anyone can strain your relationship with them. Ever since I've lived on my own, I've never wanted to live with another person again. Living alone is total bliss.

[AmandaYVR]

Yes I think it might be a net positive.
Some people in the entertainment industry, and who travel a lot for work, swear by it.
People can grow apart, but I suspect they'd be slightly more likely to not be so frustrated with living together.
I wouldn't do this, but I bet a lot of people would prefer it.

[wolfprincess91]

My ex’s parents live apart most of the time he goes home on weekends their still married have four kids I can see good and bad sides to this good is the relationship can be good either way. She raised the four kids alone which can be bad she may feel abandoned by her spouse physically to have raised them while he lived in another state only helped when he came home he helped her financially but she was always with the kids never got a break could resent him possibly after so many years their kids are now grown they live together now after all these years could be good as well makes it more excited to see that person after so long. However only one of their children have a great relationship and has kids the other three don’t have any relationships the oldest brother I dated he hasn’t gotten a girlfriend in years the older sister is single and the youngest brother is single. It could be their happier single but having both parents around creates a good environment for kids.

[The_Maphio]

No. That's not married living. Those are marriages forced to be lived like that because of professional matters or plain failure.
A marriage is well the moment in which the support for one another is granted by one another while the couple lives together.
Living apart is generally a mark of failure, as far as engagement goes.

[Farah_luna]

They’re called LAT relationships and yes it works for some people not all obviously. Some people do things a certain way or want their house to look a certain way so would prefer to live alone or they don’t like someone else inhabiting their own personal space.

[Miristheiss]

No, I think they would fail more.

If people had realistic expectations... were more selfLESS and less selFISH, had good boundaries with the opposite sex and kept dating and courting each other even after they are committed, more marriages would thrive.

[Asker]

How long do people need to date to achieve this? I do agree that premarital counseling should be mandatory.

[menina]

I don't think so. If they live apart because they want to and not for any other reason then what's the point of getting married?
They don't spend enough time with each other and at they might feel like strangers.

[Mia-Wallace]

For me the only reason for marriage is if the couple want children, and I think children need both parents around them. It's also even better if you have friends and extended family so they can socialize with other kids more often.

If you don't want to have kids choose cohabition and do whatever you want, whether it's having sex with other couples or living apart or whatever. And you won't worry about divorce either.

[MeghanL]

For some couples it may be right, but I think living apart on an ongoing indefinite basis defeats a major purpose of marriage.

[Lionman95]

I think more marriages and relationships would survive if both partners don´t spend every free second together.

[dreamstar72]

No because I’m to much in love with my wife to be apart. Besides would miss her a lot.

[canucker90]

No it wouldn’t survive I think one or if not both would eventually cheat

[Philyouup]

The Apartnership! I believe it works for people, not everyone, but it would work for me..

[Anonymous]

Sure, if i was given a hall pass.

[Asker]

🤣🤣🤣

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No, it would survive if people learn to shut up.

[Phoenix54862]

I think it depends on the couple.

[FilmGuy93]

Probably not

[jahaims]

Nope