How can I convince my mother to bless my wedding with a divorced woman?

Question

She's absolutely against it, because my bride to be is older (29, I'm 24) and his divorced. I point out her hypocrisy since she herself has been married three times and she says I'm being disrespectful.

Mangospacho · Accepted Answer

I can see why she’s against it because it doesn’t seem like, based on what you’ve described, why any parent would like their son to marry this woman. However, if she really is a good woman, then eventually she’ll see it. Her opinion of your fiancé should be a warning to you, though. It’s not normal behavior to try to break up happy couples. In fact, it’s a sign of mental illness. So, your mother is either mentally I’ll or this is a sign you should really take a deeper look on why she has a problem with your fiancé. Anyone not in your relationship has a different perspective and may spot problems or potential problems that you can’t because you’re actually in the relationship. Instead of just racking your brain with ideas on how you can change your mom's mind, you should be looking at whether or not this is a sign you should really reconsider marrying her. If your response is that your fiancé is perfect in every way and that she never makes mistakes and that she’ll always make you happy no matter what, you should definitely take a second look.

MisteryMe · Accepted Answer

She shouldn't judge this woman based on the fact that things didn't work out with someone else. I've known lots of divorced people that stayed in a subsequent marriage. There's no guarantees in life, and if you let fear stop you from taking a chance on being happy, you're going to spend your entire life being miserable.

That's all pretty obvious, but some people can be unreasonably overbearing and protective to the point that logic and reason doesn't matter. You might just have to let her feel the way she feels and hope she gets on board after a while.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

You don't.. You do what you feel is best for you and she either gets on board with it or she doesn't.. But make it clear to her that you won't let her come between you and your wife once you're married.. Good luck and congrats. May you have a happy, healthy marriage..🥂

DeeDeeDeVour · Accepted Answer

Is her blessing all that important to you? Does that outweigh your happiness with your new love?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Do you know why your girlfriend got divorced from her previous husband? Have you thoroughly investigated the matter? Have you gotten both sides of the story?

There is a reason employers put on their application the question: "Reason for Leaving". Maybe it wasn't the employee's fault that they left their previous job. But maybe it was.

Chances are, she does bear at least SOME responsibility for the failure of her previous marriage (in most cases.). It's up to you to find out whether she actually learned from her mistakes and has corrected certain attitudes and behaviors.

jshm2 · Answer

You don't.

Shit on top of shit doesn't make the shit smell any better or worse.

She wasn't able to guide you in marriage as she's a failure in it. You're hoping to not be a failure in marriage like her too.

You both need help, but in different ways.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Not much detail to go on. How long sh been divorced… does she explain what went wrong what she did to do better.. etc.

I doubt you can other than to ask her to trust your judgement and you will do your best. Keep an open line of communication but I also wonder if your mom will be a poison pill in the relationship. I’d keep her out if the details of issues but have someone you can work with. Sorry if that sounds negative as there are always challenges when coming together.

Avicenna · Answer

It's your life and you will never be able to get approval from everyone no matter what you do, so politely thank her for her opinion. I do hope she shows up at the wedding and is supportive.

She probably thinks you can do better than your fiancee.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

I'm sure your mother knows a lot more than you do on the topic of marriage and what a divorced person could. Then again you're an adult. An inexperienced one but still an adult. by the way, don't start an argument with your mother on Something you have no experience.

Diodoro · Answer

Yes, your mother is not in a position to tell you what you shouldn't do here.

That aside, statistically girls who get divorced once are far far far more likely to divorce the next man.

Take that as you will

Sarahr123 · Answer

She probably doesn’t want you to marry someone like herself. I think you should listen to your mother but you do you.

EaterPeter · Answer

It's not going to be easy. She may be trying for you to avoid all the mistakes she made in life. She can't just summarize or accept the mistakes she made it. Try asking different way. Remove criticism contempt out of what you say. Soften the start up. The first person she married with was divorcee?

Better_off_here · Answer

it seems that your mother has doubts in her mind. maybe your mother is really religious and does not believe in that stuff. but that is not true from what you say. i say it is your life and do what you want, you had no control over who she married and re married and she should not care either.

SnakeBoop · Answer

meh, ya mama won't always agree with every choice you make unfortunately.

Anonymous · Answer

My boyfriends mother was the same about me so I refused to go near her for the first couple of years of us dating 🤣 I’m amazing and her son is lucky to have me! I’m not going anywhere near someone who looks down their nose at me! She adores me now

Friendlybro79 · Answer

No one can tell you how to feel, but I'd do everything to absolutely not give a flying shit what she has to say. I'm having a tough time even believing this based on her being married 3 times. If this is she's a huge hypocrite

AviatorTom · Answer

You probably can't convince her. If you love this woman and she loves you, then you don't need your mother's approval.

Anonymous · Answer

Lissen to one who would know. No matter who the girl is, she is never going to like her. You arfe her sonny. Ignore mommy dearest and congrats. I will bless you.

illallowit · Answer

You're being disrespectful? She's being disrespectful! Respect is a 2 way street.

devilish-cutie · Answer

you can't reason with unreasonable just do your thing and give it time, shell come around

Wester1967 · Answer

You’re walking in to the pits of hell. Listen to your momma before it’s too late

Anonymous · Answer

Don't do it son. Just don't do it. Don't make the foolish mistakes I've made too often... I still kick myself metaphorically to this day... how could I have been so stupid...🧐

Anonymous · Answer

No disrespect but Why the fuck do you need her permission? Are you still her obedient little boy?  moments like these separate boys from men. Which are you?

Floppy2112 · Answer

Well, I have only one question. Does she have children? If so, run like hell. If not, do whatever you want.

Mehzmeh · Answer

It’s not up to her!! It’s your life.  But also ask her why she is being a hypocrite!!  I dealt with the same thing from my father for a while. But he dealt with it.

Anonymous · Answer

Could be mother’s instincts. I also wouldn't listen to her if i were you, but then again i do stupid stuff.

Morgador · Answer

A parent always wants what they think is better for their children. You have to make your own decisions for right or wrong.

Dk8erb · Answer

If you're gonna do it then why do you need her "blessing"

noohair · Answer

My mom tried to make me choose and I chose my wife. I told her sorry but you can't do to her what my fathers family did to you.

whosnumber1 · Answer

let her know that your doing your thing and if she doesn't play ball SHE'S going to miss out. it will be HER problem not yours.

jamesgoldman · Answer

You don't, just don't invite her or her family if they agree with her

Saint_Christopher50 · Answer

Remind mom, that she'll be your wife no matter what and a blessing makes it a blessing and not a curse.

AkshiJanjua · Answer

You are young and getting married to a divorced woman who is older. I don't see it as a good choice

GoldenCage · Answer

haha that's gold.. of course she would say that

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

Fuck what she thinks.

Anonymous · Answer

don't listen to your mother

MJtheCoach · Answer

You’re too young to be getting married!

How can I convince my mother to bless my wedding with a divorced woman?

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