Why can't people respect women's preference or other people's preference/culture for not taking the husband's last name?

Question

There was a question about taking husband's lastname and everyone who does not agree with it, get insulted as feminazi, weirdo etc. First of all it is just a preference. Second of all in some religions and middleeastern cultures it is prefered that women do Not take husband's lastname and it can be even a sin. Third of all, if you can't respect people's preferences or cultures, do not expect from others to respect your (American christian) culture. Would you like it when people called you a weirdo, an American retard, cuntservative, weirdo etc just because you prefere to take your husband's lastname? I am middleeastern but i also live in western country where you both can keep your last names when you marry. The point of marriage is getting support by the state so the young couple do not financially struggle when they get kids. So far i also know it is also disadvantage for men if the partners take their last name due to alimony when divorce happen but i am not sure about this. So why would any man want this if this is true?

I am also sorry for sounding rude and i apologize if i offend anyone with this post.

TonyMetal___86 · Accepted Answer

There was like 2 same questions about this matter and your the 3rd one asking the same question, if you have read the same previous question than you know my opinion and why a woman must hold her husband's family name after marriage...

It's not something by choice, it's something that must be done after marriage or your considered to never got married and here i'm talking about a real church marriage...

If your talking about civil marriage than your free and if they gave you the choice to keep your family name than your free too and respect your freedom of choice but when you ask me for my opinion, i'll tell you that i'm totally against it and would never consider to love or marry a girl who have these rotten feminist ideology because no one mentioned or even bothered to talk about such topic other then the feminists, google it and you will see that they were the 1st ones to bring this subject to the table...

I cannot control people or order them what they can or can't do and i'm not from this type of men, i respect your freedom, in the end if you chose to keep your family name or not, that's your business with your husband and it doesn't matter or effect me...

If you ask for my opinion than expect to get a rough answer cause i'm not from these males who say yes and why not for everything that a female says...

Women should be aware that their still some real men who exists and not all men are the same...

Northernlights25 · Accepted Answer

Strange how this question is suddenly everywhere. But I don't have to respect anything. In my opinion it's silly and only stems from a place of egoism. It's unnecessary. It's been a tradition since ages past and from a Christian perspective it's no more than theGod's ordained way since the man leads the household. You also shouldn't boil Christianity down to being American, Christianity exists globally and has been the largest Faith for centuries. I'm Swedish myself. Lastly, your definition of marriage is very odd; "The point of marriage is getting support by the state so the young couple do not financially struggle when they get kids" No? The state supporting childcare is just a function to help married couples starting a family. Since when has marriage itself ever been about getting childsupport. Marriage has historically and secularly been about love, and politics, and power. In Christendom it's a Holy Union between man and woman to mirror the relationship between Christ and the Church on earth.

PadyFrogette · Accepted Answer

Most professional females take their degrees whilst they are single, whether it be a Medical degree, Legal Degree, Engineering etc so their degree will always show their Maiden name.
In France and a lot of Napoleon countries a females legal name is her Maiden name, which will be on her ID Card and Passport, when they get married their ID will be Miss Maiden name Wife of Husband's Name on ID and Passport.

CindyRuns · Accepted Answer

I hear you...

I sort of did a mix when I got married, I still use my maiden name professionally and in some contexts and in others, I use my husband's last name.

My passport and drivers license both have my maiden name on it !!!

I've had people tell me "make up your mind" ... my answer... it's none of your business !!!

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. Everyone is entitled to have and to express their opinions. None of them were trying to control your behavior, were they?

2. "The point of marriage is getting support by the state so the young couple do not financially struggle when they get kids." I dn't know where you live but that is WAY off the mark for the US.

3. "So far i also know it is also disadvantage for men if the partners take their last name due to alimony when divorce happen but i am not sure about this." In the US, your thought on this matter is absolutely wrong.

Aethereal · Answer

I personally accept that it's a preference. A girl is free to decide not to want her husband's last name. However, I can only respect her choice if she is willing to respect the guy's choice to not get married to her as a result. I want my wife to either take my last name, or we make a new one together. That is my preference. The relationship doesn't need to end due to this difference in opinion. It is wrong for outsiders to insist that one or the other back down. Both preferences are equally deserving of respect.

As with choices, preferences have consequences. We must consider and accept the consequences of our preferences rather than get defensive/rude/entitled, as many people tend to do.

Leonharted · Answer

I abstained from that question because I don't really care what some stranger chooses to do. That said, if we were getting married, I'd insist on you taking my last name to the point that I'd be willing to end the relationship if you weren't willing to do so (no point in wasting each other's time). Just as every woman is free to not take my last name in marriage, I am free to not marry that person.

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

Because it's GaG and no one here knows how to agree to disagree without being disrespectful. I'm not a woman that wants to take on a man's last name. Our kids will have his last name but I just don't feel like it's necessary or that it makes rhe marriage less sacred or valued because of that.

Pyrofox · Answer

I think it would far more interesting if we all when we get married just swapped last names. >w< It would make the whole idea of having like in law parents and or siblings seem more on a even playing field.

jasco · Answer

Well me personally, I am conservative so I would really like to have my girl used my last name. Makes things less complicated when it comes to business matters. Marriage/kids wise I feel like when your married and have kids its better to have one last name for them as well. Cause if you both keep your names than, what about the kids and their last names? School and anything else that requires last names can become confusing however thankfully technology is slowly becoming better and data management is also becoming better. So who knows. I am conservative so yea if a woman wants to keep her last name than I hope she finds a husband who does the same.

InventorofWarp · Answer

I don't really see a whole lot what culture has to do with this. I have a close friend who is married and she still has her maiden name. We're both Canadians. I'm a Protestant but she's not religious.

IMuser · Answer

The simplest answer is: if something is drilled in your head, then even if something is logically correct, it's difficult to get over it.

Solution: if not changing your surname is important for you, look for someone else because as humans age, it's difficult to change opinion (because it makes them question their reality)

yulbsari · Answer

There are SO many other more important considerations in marriage than taking someone's last name... like finances, philosophies regarding child rearing (if you plan to have kids), interactions/issues with extended family, cultural differences, etc. This is why I think that THOROUGH premarital counseling is ESSENTIAL because once you do it, it will be too late to go back! Then, you will experience the HELL of divorce and custody disputes! GET EVERYTHING OUT ON THE TABLE FIRST!!!

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why why people can't respect men's preference for not getting married or just wanting a relationship without marriage. We care more about the risk marriage have than to just change your last names.

UsernameXLTX · Answer

Most users on GAG are from western countries, where women taking her husband's last name is common. I don't believe we are disrespecting any other cultures bc we aren't in the Middle East or aware of their traditions. The comments are from a Western POV.

tommyvegas7618 · Answer

Anyone know how much work it takes to change it if you get divorced? It's a shit ton of paper work. I like the idea, personally, of having her take my name, but wouldn't insist on it if she didn't want to.

Slartybartfast · Answer

First, a women doesn't "lose" her name! She just gains another.. Jane Doe married Mr Smith is now Jane Doe Smith..  I almost took my ex wifes last name so I'd be Thomas Magnum..

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

Not sure why it is such a big deal if a woman doesn't take the last name. It's kind of a pain in the butt to get it done and it doesn't make them any less married even if she doesn't take it.

ChiTown33 · Answer

What do you mean I could care less what other people do. I probably wouldn't do it. But I don't care if others do it that way.

Jintendo18 · Answer

Saying you don’t want your husband’s last name is like saying that you don’t consider yourself part of his family (even though you are, and so are your children) yet you expect entitlement to his assets should you decide to change your mind on a whim one day.

KatherineJ · Answer

Girl, you have to do what you feel is right for you! Don’t let anyone insult you because you make/made the decision to keep your name. It is your identity, no one else’s!

Tstrbrainer · Answer

I don't agree with the last point, as I don't think that spouse not taking the guy's last name will benefit the guy in any way

AdithyaR · Answer

I always feel it's better to not take each others names, stuff like degrees and certificates etc are going to be in the persons original name, makes things complicated in my opinion.

notwoke · Answer

as soon as I come across a woman with a hypenated last name or some bullshit like that, I know I am dealing with an upetty, emasculating cunt and I keep her at a 10 ft distance and keep myself guarded well

Why can't people respect women's preference or other people's preference/culture for not taking the husband's last name?

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