Logically is faithfulness in wives far more important than faithfulness in husband?

[KelleyNice]

In a follow-up, I will explain why faithfulness in wives is much more important, and why faithfulness in husbands is also important to wives and to the marriage.

Updates

1 y

The reason that faithfulness is so much important to males than females is when males are cuckolded there is a very high chance of raising another male's offspring, a mistake in the evolutionary race to perpetuate one's own genes. That risk does not exist for females. Except in modern times, where courts order men to pay child support, for a one-night-stand, there was no risk for women when their husbands were unfaithful.

Updates

1 y

However, that does not imply that there is no risk to the wife when a husbands is unfaithful. Especially if it is longer than a one-night-stand and, even in a few cases for a one-night-stand, the husband may give to the other woman resources that otherwise would be given to the wife and children. Furthermore, when a husband is unfaithful, he may leave the wife for another women and thereby breakup and/or destroy the marriage and their relationship.

[Gent207]

You lost all respect from me after using the word "cuckhold", a sex act not an objective description of being faithful and loving. Similar to guys using the word 'whipped'.
I don't know who hurt you but your opinion on this matter is all wrong.
1.) Adultery or cheating is hurtful and effects everyone no matter the culture or sexual orientation.
2.) Men and women both commit adultery at varying rates. The latest studies suggest men do it at higher rates (67%).
3.) Adultery involes numerous factors and is rarely just a one-night stand but a pattern of behavior in response to a series of negative experiences within the marriage or relationship with their current significant other.
4.) The odds of adultery are also greatly influenced by one's personality and attitudes towards sex.

Seriously open your eyes to the crazy complexities of the world around you instead of this dark pessimism.

[KelleyNice]

@Gent207 What nonsense! The rates are equal because cheating requires both. However, that does not imply that men and women are equally inclined to cheat. Men have fewer opportunities.

[Vickymoore9]

Cuckhold isn’t cheating this is when a couple agree to bring another man into their sex life. The fact is more men bring this adventure to the wife that is a fact. You gotta look up the topic and do your research gent207 before putting together in your own head about the topic.

[RavVid]

Well wives can come home pregnant of course. How many men want to spend all that time and money raising another mans child? And having the insult of her having had another mans child in front of him day after day for at least 20 years? There are societal consequences of this.

I know a guy who thinks two of his three children are his with a bitzer in between. In fact only one of them is his and the three children are so startlingly different in looks it is hard to see how he can think this. He teaches in church schools and I guess he sucked it up to avoid scandle but not many men would.

I was surprised to learn recently a paternity DNA test is possible while the child is in the womb. Seems there is enough of the foetus's DNA in the mothers blood for this to be possible. It might be a slow burner but I could see men demanding this peace of mind test more and more over time.

[RavVid]

Kellynice what you updated with is exactly right. The wife of the school teacher I mentioned said to her sister that she didn't care because her children were out of her.

And exactly right in the inverse. If I had two children with you and five children elsewhere I wouldn't get to walk away as I once might have (before DNA testing). I would have to support all my children equally in law. So the children you have had by me are not going to be as well supported.

[KelleyNice]

Most paternity test labs report that about 1/3 of their paternity tests have a 'negative' result. Of all the possible fathers who take a paternity test, about 32% are not the biological father. But remember, this is 1/3 of men who have a reason to take a paternity test - not 1/3 of all men. Without massive DNA testing, there is no way to know the actual percentage. Most estimates are less than 10% with average of about 4 percent.

[RavVid]

In Glasgow they were doing a scientific study on musical abilities but regrettably had to abandon it because presumed fathers weren't. In poorer areas it seems girls look for better genes more arduously.

On the other hand there was an English study on whether surnames could be inferred from DNA. As it turned out Mrs Smiths were particularly faithful.

You are right about guys feeling doubtful. A girlfriend came home and I was immediately suspicious. If she had said "oh honey we are having a baby" I would have called the DNA umpire in fo' sure.

As it was I did a dipstick test and it came back positive. That's positive in a negative sense if you get my meaning.

[KelleyNice]

There is a natural selection reason that "In poorer areas it seems girls look for better genes more arduously." Alpha females have husbands with superior genes. Therefore, there is little advantage in selecting the genes of other men for their eggs. However, poor women can easily find and have sex with men that have genes superior to the genes of their husbands and thereby have children that will produce more descendants.

[RavVid]

Yes That is the bioethics of it all. Instead f Alpha Females I rather like using the term Ultra Femmes. It's the same regardless.

[Vickymoore9]

I pretty much knew when having sex with my ex he impregnated me it was like a smell and feeling over my body lol. Then when my daughter started turning 2 years old she looked exactly like his sister lol. I joked asking if he wanted to take a paternity test lol

[RavVid]

@Vickymoore9 Funny :)

[Adaeva]

I can understand that a husband does not want his wife to get pregnant by another man. However, a wife is not going to want her husband paying child support for another woman's baby. If fact that may be worse because the man may never know that he is not the father but a wife is certainly going to know if her husband is paying child support to another woman. Therefore, faithfulness may be more important to the wife.

[Blackcosmo]

It should be equal for both genders.

[KelleyNice]

It is important for both genders but throughout recorded human history, it was more important to husband that their wives be faithful and logically so as I will explain in an update tomorrow.

[Blackcosmo]

Yes what you said on the update makes a lot of sense.

[Anonymous]

If we’re talking about the well-being of everybody involved and the stability of society, both matter equally.

Sure, if a woman cheats and tricks a man into raising a child that isn’t his, this is obviously terrible. It’s probably the worst thing a woman can do to a man, regardless of how much some of them might try to convince men that paternity shouldn’t matter. It does to us, and it would to them if it could happen to them. I’ve also known people who’ve found out, and it’s devastating for both the supposed father and the kid.

At the same time if a man cheats and then impregnates the other woman, what about her and that poor kid raised without a father? That’s just as bad in my opinion. Kids need Dads around, not just paying child support but to give them love and guidance

[KelleyNice]

Of course, that might be terrible when looking at it from the outside; that is, from every person's angle. However, other women and children the wife doesn't know and likely will never know is not something she would even think about. Therefore, they are of little or no importance to her. Furthermore, you are assuming the worse case. The other woman may be married and the man is doing her, her child, and husband a favor. If a married women has sex with another man, almost certainly, he is superior to her husband and has superior genes. Therefore, the man is giving the woman and her husband a prettier and superior baby. Of course, if the husband discovers the truth, he is not going to happy but he benefits from what he doesn't know.

[Vickymoore9]

Faithfulness is a two way streak but many times it happens when needs aren’t met. Men and women in a relationship that’s sexually fulfilling aren’t going to cheat. Like you said KelleyNice if a woman has to go out for the superior sex with a man. Then she is coming home it’s more of any other man stepping in assisting where her husband is slacking. I have a thing about looks and face and body I’m very picky. I would never have sex with a man who didn’t measure up to my standards. The last thing I would want is bringing a inferior child into the world the face struggles.

[KelleyNice]

@Vickymoore9 I don't know how much infidelity there is. When I Google, the statistics are all over the place, usually claiming more men than women. However, that based on what they admit and I don't believe that is reliable. Regardless, I believe it is the same for men and because you cannot have one without the other. I believe men are more inclined but it is much easier for women.

In any event, the best marriages are a loving relationship where both remain faithful. I accept the logic that faithfulness is more important to men but, at the same time, I don't accept the premise that men have any more right to commit adultery then women. It is like you said. "Faithfulness is a two way streak."

[HighValue]

It is bad to be unfaithful for either, but it is worse when the woman betrays the man because of the divorce and child support laws that harm men way more for way longer than it does women.

[EmyyWolf]

NO.
I shouldn’t feel forced to keep my extremely high sex-drive just for HIM.
When he ain’t doing the same for me.

It an equal deal. OR ITS NOT

[KelleyNice]

With your attitude, be thankful you were born in a Western country and not Iran. Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani – a mother of two was sentenced to stoning by an Iranian court for adultery. In theory that could happen to your husband. However, the typical thinking is, "Men have needs" so they are seldom punished by stoning, if at all.

Is that fair? No, but I wonder, other than in modern times in Western countries, has life ever been fair for women? Of course, men have always been willing to die to protect women. However, it that not because they are valued as property and not as humans with equal rights.

[EmyyWolf]

Yeah that Afghani type of mentality they have over there is PRIVILEGED AF.
The men are like the rulers there and the women property.

It’s the same as BLACK SLAVERY.

Not only that but those type people have 4 inches to F*K with. DISAPPOINTING

ALSO, I’ve seen a woman get stabbed to death by her EX lover after breaking up with him.
Men aren’t jealous or envious, they’re CONTROLLING.

Because men naturally don’t have the emotional attachments and sentiments that women do.
They are completely wired differently entirely.

Also I was born in Ecuador. I guess it’s also westernized over there. I live here now thankfully. Cause laws over there aren’t even real. And that stabbing happened in PERU , it messed me up!

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your second paragraph disproves the less risk for women claim in your first.
Also you forgot to mention stds and single perenthood being hard and causing a person to be a more likely to remain single.

[KelleyNice]

Both statements are true. Therefore, it is impossible for one to disprove the other. The truth has never required a listing of all possible contingencies that may be possible but cannot be predicted with certainty:

[TheSpaceGnome]

Not unless you have a typo they aren't.

[DWornock]

@TheSpaceGnome Obviously both statements are true. To claim otherwise means you just want to argue and the truth doesn't matter.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@DWornock No, both statements are not true.

"there was no risk for women when their husbands were unfaithful."

"However, that does not imply that there is no risk to the wife when a husbands is unfaithful."

Those are a direct contradiction to eachother if neither are a typo, and both cannot be true.

[KelleyNice]

@thespacegnome I must admit that you are correct. Looking at those two sentences that is a contradiction However, it is a bit out of context. In the past, there was little or no risk to the wife when her husband had one-night-stand and the parties go their separate ways, but there would be a risk if the husband has a long term affair.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Only takes one night to knock up some other woman, so I'd say the risk is just as high, but at least now I understand what you were trying to say.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also one night of cheating is enough to catch an std.

[KelleyNice]

@TheSpaceGnome Whether or not the woman got pregnant on a one night stand is not relevant. That would be her and likely her husband's blessing or curse; not his. STD's was a risk but doesn't change the reasons.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Actually it's very relavant, as is the std risk.

Child support payments, available free time, and non removable diseases have a huge impact on relationships.

Sorry, but I really just don't agree with you on any of this, there is no logical reason why not cheating is more or less important based on gender.

The only way multiple partners is even viable, is if one or both of the genders gets surgically steralized, and there aren't any infections in the participating populace.

And even then, there are added stipulations, like the number of partners can't be too high or you won't have enough time to spend with them sexually each day, and you won't have any time for hobbies either. Also there is negative emotional reactions to sharing, since most of us want to be a person's favorite/only SO and get attention from them whenever we are in the mood, and then there is visual and sociological disgust to worry about as well.

[KelleyNice]

@TheSpaceGnome I had already address child support in modern times so you just want to argue and I'm not going to do that. You can have the last word but this discussion is over.

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t like this. It’s not about resources. It’s about emotional pain when someone cheats on you. And that’s the same regardless of gender.

[Whatever2929292]

It HAS to go both ways... You can't have one person cheating

[Iron_Man]

It’s very important for me to have a faithful loyal wife. Its also very important for me to be Faithful back to her. And have a great wonderful relationship

[baserunner611]

Faith wife is important to a marriage but a husband who care love ❤️ and respect is also important faith husband

[anon1903]

Nope. If you ain't loyal, don't be in a relationship. At all.

[Preeti161101]

Faithfulness is important for both but the society has more aspects from women because the society is dominated by males

[garykingg]

Faithfulness in both parties are required, no exceptions.

[MistyEyes000]

I guess it's equally important for both to be faithful

[LazerBean]

No, because either way the marriage will fail.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

They are both important for both Husband and Wives

[Anonymous]

I dont think there is any difference.

[clampfan101]

How would equality not be best?

[Xtendable]

I would think its equal for both parties

[serious]

Both equally.

[slatyb]

No, it’s not.