It’s a good thing you’re not marrying them…
invite the ones who will be in full support and those who have been for quite some time.
Mail them a post card? 🤷♀️
mail them photos 🤷♀️
if you really wish for them to go. Tell them a fake date. Day of: Dress up and take pictures of a fake wedding scene, and send it to them, and then bring over “left overs” from the wedding. In reality it will just be a top notch food dish from some fancy place (singular plate) and you can pretend you both thought of them and say you wanted them to enjoy some part of it or say:
”we had some lefts overs and thought of you/ thought you’d like some?”
This could make them feel guilty and if any guilt or apology arises, then you can say
“well you have a chance to make it up.”
lol and explain the real details of the wedding and the actual date of.
Also if they go up to the “address” mentioned, on the fake wedding day, then you can believe they still wished to support as a last minute thing.
I only say consider guilt-tripping them so that they don’t make a mistake of a life time
Because if you made a mistake in a partner you can just divorce, but if they made a mistake of missing their child’s wedding and their child ends up happily married for years to come.. then that’s a mistake they’ll never be able to change or reverse.
They would have missed a crucial milestone and being a part of the story 🤷♀️
But C’est la vie?
Maybe just go without them?
They helped you walk and seen you graduate, maybe they don’t have to hold your hand into your own gift for life? 🤷♀️
Think about it, and consider everything with your partner 💯🤝
You won't be able to make them if they don't want to, accept that they won't be there or give into their demands.
Personally, I'd go with eloping and not even invite people. Less hassle and less expense.
I’m not sure honestly you know how your mother is better than anyone mine for example hates traveling, a trip to the us or Mexico or the thought of it is traumatising to her, plane, hotels, food she is in Europe and I’m in the states but not sure if I want to put her in that situation.
I don’t know how your situation is but if any of my fiends or family invites me to a wedding have to fly or cross a border i would take that as “ you are not invited” kind of invitation. It’s not possible for me between work and kids and it’s just exhausting and even insensitive to “my situation”.
I always thought people do that when they have to invite certain people but don’t want them to actually be there. Other wise they have the wedding where everybody they know lives and travel light the next day to wherever your want it’s your honeymoon.
Anyway I hope she changes her mind and congratulations 🎉
If it’s your first marriage then your parents should want to be there if it’s your second or 3rd then I can see why they don’t want to go lol How is your relationship with your parents? Were they loving parents’ ? Do they not care for your fiancé? I know traveling can be a pain in the ass Are your parents’ older? If they are acting this way , maybe it’s best they don’t come , if they are already being negative about it , Kind of sounds like my parents’ to be honest , with the selfish mindset , So it’s probably best they don’t come so hey don’t cause drama and complain at your wedding
Opinion
32Opinion
I totally understand that it’s important to you that they are there. Unfortunately you can’t force others to do what you want them to do. If having the wedding in Cancun is what has already been decided then you might have to do the wedding without them.
What you could do is have the wedding in Cancun (sounds awesome!) and have a wedding celebration in your hometown with your family and friends. That way you can still celebrate this event with those important to you who can’t be at your actual wedding.
Because a lot of boomers are self focused asshats while simultaneously complaining how millenials dont know how to work hard for a living.
My parents didn't attend my college graduation. Or wedding. They always make me praise them for achievments I earned. And they constantly remind me how much they cared in raising me as if somehow being a parent was a favor and not an obligation.
I say, fu*k em. You made your offer, theyre not interested. You will learn, after marriage, you and your husband will forge a new way forward and leave the old ways behind.
Congrats to you both
I mean I can kinda understand. I think destination weddings are a pain in the ass. Not everyone wants to drop what they’re doing and take time out of work just to travel to your wedding. Shit a lot of people don’t even like going to weddings when it’s local lol
And also there’s been a lot of bad stories about Cancun and tourists in Mexico lately. So I get why she wouldn’t want to go there specifically.
but at the same time, they’re your parents. You would think your own parents would want to come to their child’s wedding regardless of where it is.
Does she really not like it or is she concerned about the kidnappings that have been happening in Mexico? Maybe she doesn’t like Mexicans. Maybe she has a wild spring break streak down they MRE during her younger days that she doesn’t want to resurface. I’d try talking to her, there has to be a reason why she doesn’t like Cancun. I mean why just Cancun? Why not all of Mexico? Is she even happy w you getting married? Does she like your fiancé? Maybe she’s hoping if she don’t go you won’t go through w marriage cause she k owns it’s important to you for them to be there.
Okay- I bet you are a very nice girl and I know it is your wedding but I don't understand what is the deal with the destination weddings. Is it a contest to see how inconvenient you can make it for the guests? My son has a lot of friends and every weekend he ends up going to some faraway place on his dime to go to some wedding. He has actually had to go away to the bachelor party. It is just ridiculous.
My kids got married locally. The weddings were less than ten grand and we did not make it so that all the guests had to spend a couple of grand to fly down to Mexico for a weekend. My son had his wedding in our backyard. Everyone who came said it was the best wedding they ever went to.
my family lives in a different province than I do. They would either have to spend a lot of money to come here. And once or here they have to spend money on Transportation, Hotel, And flight. That would be a couple grand in itself. Or my fiance's family would have to fly over to where they are. And do the same thing. And it's twice As Expensive in vancouver Canada. Then it is In alberta Canada. So I thought I'll have a small wedding and a Family vacation. For whoever wants to come In mexico. The wedding venues i've looked at locally or anywhere from twelve to fifteen thousand for the venue Alone. I Priced it out with a travel agent and for us to spend a Week two in mexico Is way cheaper than having a local wedding. That way you get a vacation And A wedding
That's a tough one. I think all the bad press is likely clouding her judgement. You can't blame her or your dad, if that is the reason why. TBH I would be a little apprehensive about going myself.
If that is the reason, can you find somewhere else similar to Mexico?
Maybe Cuba, they are Canadian friendly and the atmosphere is somewhat similar to Mexico?
Somewhere you know they've been that you would be happy with too?
Both parents... afraid of being kidnapped or shot up? I'd wonder her rational...
no, have not had that scenario. her comment sounds kinda... cold. are you sure that's the issue? does she approve of him?
We had a small ceremony at home by ourselves and then took a nice long vacation. less stress, more fun. family member did same. others had weddings with good attendance.
They can attend via zoom instead.
Why the hell would you want people to attend, that don't want to be there? You might as well piss on your own wedding cake, for all the joy having someone who doesn't want to be there will bring. It will suck the life out the day!
Sure it's great, having everyone on your special day. But understand that your special day doesn't mean it's everyone else's as well.
Crazy odds, my brother's wife's kid is getting married in Mexico in a few weeks. He's going, but he doesn't want to spend his vacation days to go there and he's complained at the flight cost. If they don't want to go and you've offered to cover it - I don't think you can force their hand. Maybe do something local and low key with then and have a destination wedding double as a elopement?
Well, they’re being ridiculous and they are going to regret being petty about something important to you. This is your first marriage, right? I could see, maybe, how if this were your second or third marriage that they might try to justify it even though it’s still wrong.
You sure they don't just fear Mexico, because of all the cartels running around, you never know when you'll step into cartel territory and the chances of them lighting you up on the spot is pretty high.
You don't think it will happen until it does, that's called caught lacking, either ways tho, you never asked why?
Maybe the crime is getting to her, after all not too long ago 4 Americans were shot at in Mexico, 2 got killed and the other two were injured I think
Have you tried asking her? Maybe it's the emotional part she's trying to avoid, when you see your kids get married I'm sure it's when you realize that the family will split up cause it's how it goes
I think, you should try changing the venue if it doesn't change a lot of things especially the bonding between the two of you and other aspects.
It's an important part of one's life and with the presence of parents the day becomes a blessed one.
This depends on whether or not your mother has actually been to Cancun. If she hasn't, then she is making an excuse to cover up some other reason. If she has them she doesn't like it. Then you might want to consider changing things if it's practical to do that. If it isn't practical, then I would wish them well and go ahead and get married in Cancun like you planned.
Cancun is controlled by narco terrorists. The whole of Mexico is unsafe for any American or Canadian. Haven't you seen the Americans recently murdered? Why would you choose Cancun over anyplace else like Bahamas?
My fam said the same that they would only come if i fly them out. I used to brag like whatever, done deal. But now a days, i’d just do what Nikki Bella did and sit the laptop in the chair and let them watch from afar 🤣 Screw them
If money worries you find the cheapest town and place within US why go to Mexico for a weeding especially. It’s annoying.. I’m not invited and I don’t want to come
Lol
I wouldn't want to go into Mexico now either. Way too many things happening to tourists going into that country, even when they are supposedly at these total inclusive resorts.
Its OK. My parents didn't come to my wedding because it was far from where they lived (close to where I lived). Since I knew they were not objecting to the marriage, it didn't bother me at all
If I was getting married I really careless about my parents not wanting to go. If I was getting married and where I’m going to get married I can really careless about them not liking where it’s going to be
It didn't happen to me, but similar issues have happened to friends recently, seems to be a common enough issue.
m why all the way to Cancun...
at least try the East Coast in Mexico, much more closer, cozy and private
relatively safer as well
My wedding cost me $140.00. My wife and I got married by the justice of the peace in my town. Nobody from either side of the family was there. We took the money we would have spent on a big wedding and bought a house.
i'll be honest, i don't blame them. no one likes traveling for a wedding, regardless of who they are in your life. especially mexico, where it is currently really dangerous for tourists...
They're just mad because you weren't at their wedding
Sorry to hear this. I would not be a good judge on this, as if I ever married I would not waste tens of thousands on a wedding. I'd rather invest that for a solid foundation.
Are you marring a black man? She at least can't stand your boy, which sucks, unless she knows something bad about him she's trying to convey to you.
That sounds pretty shitty of them. Sounds like its because of a lot more than Cancun.
So you lay it out like this. “I know you aren’t the biggest fan of Cancun but this is the wedding I’ve chosen to have. I would like you to be there with no animosity, but I will have this wedding without you. Know that if you refuse to attend, it will permanently harm our relationship and I don’t know how long, if ever it will take for me to forgive you.”
@Kelly6 that was my other thought.
Did you discuss with your parents first before booking?
Personally I wouldn't so anything in Mexico, island or not. Americans are targets out there.
That’s rough. Is it settled as far as the venue is concerned?
Do it anyway and don't worries about it.
change the location. ask them if they come where
Did she elaborate why?
It sounds to me like she isn’t happy about you getting married tbh
Parents don’t like seeing their children get married cause they know it means that on family get togethers you might not be there. Along with other things
Well the reason why I said that is cause especially for married couples they need to balance going to each other’s family functions together. Obviously you cannot be at both yours and your own family’s get together at the same time 😂 I myself have somewhat witnessed this phenomenon. My mom’s side is still in Mexico and my dad’s family is mostly in the states. What doesn’t help the situation is my dad doesn’t really like to socialize and furthermore he doesn’t like my mom’s side of the family 💀
But that’s just the case with my parents. No two couples are the same and have the same circumstances but I’m just bringing it up for reference
Why don't they like Cancun?
Cancun is dangerous. Fuck that.
They probably expect you will have several more weddings before it's all done.
thats fucked up bro.
I think they will come
Odd parents
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