Is flirting/sexting anonymously with strangers okay until marriage?

[Anonymous]

Im in long term relationship and is gonna marry her after an year. she's mostly busy. Is it okay to enjoy the final year of bachelor life by sexting/flirting with stranger girls ANONYMOUSLY till marriage?

No contact revealing or real life meeting !!

100% sure that after marriage life would be loyal. Is it okay in that case?

[springxxx]

Of course it's not okay, it's still cheating in the relationship. If you're in a relationship before marriage how would the girl trust you after marriage? Would you like it if your girl did the same?

[Vegasrunner]

@springxxx Excellent point so you're saying women should give up their Instagram accounts if they're serious about being married?

[Asker]

@Vegasrunner yeah lol. Women have these so called “guy friends”.

[springxxx]

@Vegasrunner no they don't have to but I do think it depends on the married couple and what they prefer

[springxxx]

Also anon guy, just because you're insecure of your girl having guy friends doesn't give you the right to cheat...

[Asker]

I agree thank you

[Vegasrunner]

@springxxx So you're ok w/ his girlfriend cheating why?

[springxxx]

@Vegasrunner I never said that..🥲 I think you misunderstood

[Vegasrunner]

@springxxx Perhaps I did. I thought you said his girlfriend doesn't have to take her IG account down. Are you saying she does?

[springxxx]

@Vegasrunner oh! You can have instagram and not cheat. It is up to the married couple in my opinion. But he's the one cheating by flirting/sexting other females on dating apps before their marriage, not the girl.

[Vegasrunner]

@springxxx Ah now I see where you're confused. Men are the ones that approach women. Women are the ones that advertise. If you want him to stop approaching women seems only right that the women should stop advertising herself on the largest dating app in the world. Sounds like you're asking the guy to close his options but you're OK w/ having the women keep hers open?

[springxxx]

@Vegasrunner sorry I disagree. If a man is taken, he needs to control himself and not approach other women. If he's the one that can't control himself, then he needs to get off all the dating apps or break up with her. A women or men with instagram with self control is fine in my opinion. But if trust becomes a issue in having instagram, it should be talked about between the couples.

[Vegasrunner]

@springxxx Lol, it's easy to disagree when you're not being asked to sacrifice anything. If men are the ones that typically approach women then why should a man give up his options if his women isn't willing to give up hers? By your logic a man would be eliminating all of his options when he's in a relationship but his women can keep all of hers that doesn't make any logical sense. If the woman is equally willing to give up her options I can see that, but why would any self respecting man commit to a women that won't commit to him? Or are you saying it's ok for the man to keep his options open if his women is going to keep her IG?

[springxxx]

@Vegasrunner just because someone has instagram doesn't mean their keeping their options open.. a married woman or man can continue to use instagram together without cheating. The problem with the post is that he is in dating apps flirting/sexting other women when he's about to get married. He is in the wrong. I'm referring to the anonymous guy, not all men. Of course both should make sacrifices but the guy in the post is the problem here. He is the one not respecting the relationship and does not have self-control.

[Vegasrunner]

@springxxx Are you aware Instagram is the largest dating app in the world? Even top tier men get a fraction of attention that below average women get on the app. Him keeping his IG isn't going to provide him any additional options however if his girlfriend keeps an IG she will be bombarded w/ options daily. His question is pretty logical which is "is it ok for me to keep my options open as well" You're pretending as if men and women are equal and they are not. A man "cheats" by approaching other women a women "cheats" by making her self available to be approached by other men. You sat he's on dating apps flirting but if his girlfriend has an IG she's going to receive way more DM's of guys flirting w/ her. You're asking him to give up flirting but you're OK w/ his girlfriend receiving flirting attention a bit hypocritical no? The guy isn't the problem at all what he's asking is "Is it OK for me to do the same thing my girlfriend does"?

[springxxx]

@Vegasrunner so are you saying if a woman posts pics on Instagram even though her relationship status is public, she is saying to everyone she is available? Some men will flirt with women despite knowing that she is taken so I won't deny that but she is not cheating if she doesn't flirt back... she doesn't have to accept message requests from strangers. Also, nowhere in the post did it indicate "my girlfriend cheated on me" or "my girlfriend flirted with other men" He is simply cheating on her because he is bored and she is busy. Of course, every woman will receive attention from men if she's beautiful in and out of social media, it doesn't always indicate she's making herself available. The same goes for the men. Every relationship is different tho. It is ultimately up to the couple whether they want it or not. In the end, both need to give up on flirting if they're in a relationship, no excuses!

[Vegasrunner]

@springxxx She doesn't need to "say" anything actions speak louder than words. If you understand that men will flirt w/ a women eventhough she's taking why do you believe it's ok for a taken women to put herself in a position to be flirted with? You're making the mistake of thinking men and women are equal and contradicting yourself in the process. Since women don't typically approach men it is dishonest to hold women to the same standard. That's like me saying I'll judge all candidates equally but will only hire the ones that can pee standing up. Can some women do it? Maybe but in general most women will be at a disadvantage. This is the same thing. I can only attract women if I go and approach them you can meet as many men as you want simply by having an IG. If we enter into a relationship is it possible that some women will approach me yes but I'm at a huge disadvantage. Remember he hasn't "cheated" his simply playing the role that you're saying it's ok for women to receive. Please explsin If it's ok for a woman to keep herself in a position where she can receive male attention why would it be cheating for a man to provide attention to females? (in my opinion guys should read your response carefully and highlight the obvious double standard)

[springxxx]

@Vegasrunner what are you exactly assuming the girl did to the guy? He is saying he wants to be unloyal before marriage and loyal after marriage. It his choice. Novody is forcing him to do it. Why does it sound like you are agreeing with his actions? Like I mentioned before, married men and married women can have instagram as long as there's no sexting/flirting with anyone. I stand by that. Just because a married woman or a married man is posting on insta, it doesn't make it wrong. I think it's just that it's what you prefer for your girl not to do since you don't want other men to look at her pictures. Instagram doesn't destroy relationships. People destroy marriages. People who want to cheat will find ways to cheat. Receiving attention from others and cheating as in sexting or flirting are two different things..

[Vegasrunner]

@springxxx This is an excellent question. I'm not assuming the woman is "doing anything" outside of being a woman, which inherently comes w/ the benifit of make options. I'm also assuming that the author has been pretty successful w/ women in the past. I'm assuming this because he's realized that by bring in a relationship he's had to give up his ability to attract women while his girlfriend has not had to do the same thing. I'm asking the sane question he is. Why does he have to give up his options when his girlfriend can keep hers open. As a women u have the privilege of not having to understand what it takes for a man to actively retain a woman, and are pretending that both men an women equally approach the opposite sex. They do not so attempting to make the claim that its OK for both of them to keep IG is disingenuous because it is a much more effective time tool for her than it is for him. A lot of guys fall for the equality bs however men that have experience w/ women understand that this is an unequal power dynamic. He's asking I it ok if makes it equal. You never answered my question would it be ok to provide high paying job to only candidates that are able to pass standing up?

[D_Bone_Steak]

I think that would be establishing a pattern of behavior that is most likely not going to just stop on its own. Just like people that start a new relationship based on lies.

I'm assuming the activity would require deception or lies by omission. That's also pretty much investing in other quasi-relationships and not just your own relationship... basically how most chicks begin their journey to only eventually physically cheat anyways.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Nope. Cheating is cheating despite whatever technicalities you lay out. Just be honest with her about what you're doing and she can accept it or not.

[Camelia7012]

I dont think you would like it if your girlfriend was doing the same.
For me its cheating, you could do it with her instead.

[Asker]

You’re right.

[OlderAndWiser]

Will you tell her when you're doing it?

[smashleyy]

If you can’t last a year being faithful what makes you think you’ll be able to do forever

[thatshydork]

You should talk about it with her but for me personally, I’d say flirting with strangers is fine as long as it doesn’t lead to anything. Sexting would cross the line for me though.

[ohsheeT]

Why don't we do it this way why don't let's play pretend that she's asking this question because that's what she's doing and now you answer the question

[WonderBell99]

No, you’re a piece of shit for cheating on her. I hope she finds out about this and dumps your sorry ass.

[Dargil]

I think it reflects a weakness in commitment.

[Jazzy54]

The hell? No. That’s still cheating, “anonymous” or not. Your girlfriend isn’t good enough for you?

[RingOfFire]

If you feel the need to do that I think you should reconsider getting married. Something is wrong.

[Yumix]

I don't think there's a difference between marriage or not. If you're in a ltr with her then it shouldn't matter.

Get her approval, not ours

[Notyouraveragecat]

I personally wouldn't do that, but hey as long as your being careful and not revealing any personal information about yourself!

[Babygirl_S]

If you're cheating now then what makes you think you'll be loyal in the future?

[Mangospacho]

Nah. Not if you’re in a relationship. If you’re doing it now, you’ll be doing it when you’re married.

[itsalyssaagain]

It’s cheating because if they found out they wouldn’t like it. Unless your partner has consented with you.

[es20490446e]

.

[Anonymous]

Is your life really that sad?

If it is, I feel real sorry for your future wife.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

For men, yes, for women, no... women should be devoted to only one man

[Blueeyes81]

Would you be comfortable if she did the same?

[DizzyDesii]

Its not cool if you’re taken in any form

[LiamJHayden]

Definitely the wrong attitude to have going into a marriage.

[Smashingdoozy]

No. That's cheating.