Am I a bad person for feeling this way?

Question

I've been enaged for a year and won't be married til August of 2024 and during this year of being engaged I didn't mention my wedding to much because my sister had her wedding and so did my fiance sisters so I took the back burner well I thought it would be my turn to have a little attention for my event and some help finally becuase my mom helped my sisters a lot but I just feel ignored and put on the back burner again and not important since my sister told my mom she's pregnant and I feel like I wouldn't feel this way as much if I was told I wasn't allowed to elope like I want by my family but I've had no help planning or paying for the wedding so am I a bad person for feeling so upset about this? Or is this normal?

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Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

I totally get feeling upset about that situation. Weddings are a big deal and it sucks to feel like your family isn't as excited or supportive as you'd hope, especially after seeing them go all out for your sisters. A couple thoughts:

- It's totally normal to want attention and help planning YOUR wedding too after waiting so long. Your feelings are valid.

- Maybe your family just got wedding'd out after the last two and has less energy now. But that still doesn't make you feeling ignored okay.

- Your sister being pregnant will definitely shift focus, but it's fair that you want your day to feel important too.

- Have you straight up told your mom how her lack of involvement/support makes you feel? Parents don't always realize when their actions upset us.

- Eloping probably won't help win them over either though, might make them more annoyed since they can't be part of it.

I'd try talking to your mom, tell her your side, and ask her to make more effort with your wedding. Hopefully she comes through for you dude - if not, don't feel bad putting your foot down on things! You deserve to feel special on your wedding day too.

CalmUntilAbused · Accepted Answer

You are not really a bad person for that, but You're definitely overthinking all this. People are busy, and if some decide they have to cut down on time spent with You, it's sufficient to cut down on time spent thinking about their opinions on You and any other influence they might have on Your life. You're just unnecessarily hurting Yourself.

A tendency to crave for attention itself is a dangerous one, though. It's not even near toxic levels yet, but if it gets there, it's going to hurt not just You and Your life, but literally everyone around You, sparing only introverts and outsiders who won't even notice the problem. It might be useful to find ways to control this craving for attention if You are worried whether it makes You a bad person Yourself.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

you're getting married a year from now, of course it's not that important yet. you are not guaranteed attention, help or money for your wedding. it's just how it is, especially since you're not an only child.

if you want, you can wait some more until everyone else lives their lives and then you can start planning marriage, but i truly don't know why you would do that.

Alwayreckles93 · Accepted Answer

Family members can be your worst enemy. They dont deserve to beinyour wedding even if its your mom dont invite them sad thing people makes someone else wrdding about them which I see this isnthe case.

Anonymous · Answer

You’re not standing up for yourself and you’re letting everyone walk all over you. What did you expect to happen? There is no “perfect time” to announce anything. Everyone has their own things going on in life. Get on with it. Announce the news, stand up for yourself and get the help from your family that you want. No one’s going to take you seriously if you carry on being a pushover. It’s harsh to hear but it’s the reality of it all.