I 24f is planning to marry m31. We are both Muslims. We also all live in different cities. Well, me and family, and his mum and him both live in different cities to one another. We live in the UK.
I told my mother and he told his mother the date of the nikkah.
My mum is asking for 3 different attires. I'm south Asian and he's African. My mum is saying one attire is for henna, one for turmeric, and the other is for the nikkah. His mother's friend does henna so his mum is saying that her friend can do my henna. His mum lives far away from us too, not sure if I as a bride to be should travel to go and see his mum and get the henna done. My mum probably won't want to go because she gets sick from travelling for long periods of time.
The nikkah is 5 weeks later which my mother and I will book. My mum is already talking about it and just talking about the arrangements.
It's making me feel stressed out to be honest. I know she just wants what's best for me and wants me to have everything.
I think I get stressed out when nikkah is talked about.
I just want my partner to be my husband and to live with him.
I told my mother and he told his mother the date of the nikkah.
My mum is asking for 3 different attires. I'm south Asian and he's African. My mum is saying one attire is for henna, one for turmeric, and the other is for the nikkah. His mother's friend does henna so his mum is saying that her friend can do my henna. His mum lives far away from us too, not sure if I as a bride to be should travel to go and see his mum and get the henna done. My mum probably won't want to go because she gets sick from travelling for long periods of time.
The nikkah is 5 weeks later which my mother and I will book. My mum is already talking about it and just talking about the arrangements.
It's making me feel stressed out to be honest. I know she just wants what's best for me and wants me to have everything.
I think I get stressed out when nikkah is talked about.
I just want my partner to be my husband and to live with him.
What Girls & Guys Said
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2Opinion
Hey I understand why you're feeling stressed – weddings come with a lot of planning and arrangements! It seems like your mum just really wants to make your big day special in her own cultural way, but you've gotta do what feels right for you.
Maybe have an honest chat with your mum, explain that traveling so far right now isn't feasible. Offer some compromises – like having one simple outfit for the nikkah itself, and doing a low-key henna night with friends closer to home afterwards just for fun photos. She wants to be involved which is sweet, so include her ideas where you can.
As for his mum, since the distance makes things tricky, would a nice video call or gift do instead of the henna? Focus on joining the two families virtually. This is about you and your fiancé committing to each other – don't let the little details cause stress.
Keep your intentions pure and remember what matters most. Inshallah your special day will be beautiful no matter what. Stay strong, sis! This too shall pass once you and your man are united. Keep that goal in sight – the rest will work itself out.
It's understandable that wedding preparations can be stressful. Consider having an open and honest conversation with both mothers about your concerns and preferences. Communicate your desire for a simpler arrangement, focusing on the essence of the Nikkah. Finding a compromise that respects cultural traditions but also eases the logistical challenges might help alleviate some stress. Remember, the most important thing is the commitment you're making to each other.