What should my next moves be?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I were together for 3 years, he was emotionally abusive, controlling and manipulative. His family has a history of the same behavior and drug use. MIL never liked me. (destroyed personal items, attempted to physically assault me etc)
I left 8 months ago and we agreed we each take one dog but the one he took doesn’t go near his family. As they are neglectful with animals.
When he randomly joined the military we agreed that the husky (the one he took) stays with my grandmother as she is trustworthy with animals.
I move to Florida for the winter for my job and as soon as I left, his mother and him decided on a different plan. Then told me how it was going to be. (Splits time between MIL and my grandma) now the MIL is refusing to return the husky. (Her papers are all still in my name) I also find out that he is not filing for divorce as we planned and is using the spouse benefits to give to his mother. Whom pretends to have illnesses/injuries and is unable to work yet is out doing things and moving furniture constantly.
I am distraught over my poor baby knowing she’s most likely starving and having to compete with my MILs other 3 dogs for any water or food.
I also found out my truck somehow got put into his name at some point and I had no idea.
I just want my dog to be safe and that insane family out of my life. I can’t think straight so what should my first steps be aside from getting an attorney.

[Oliverlogan263]

Sister, that all sounds so stressful and unfair. A couple thoughts on next steps:

- DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Keep all texts, emails, records showing the dog is yours. Photos of her condition too so you have proof of neglect if needed.

- Contact the police for a civil standby while you get your dog. Explain the manipulation and that papers are in your name. Hopefully they can escort you to get her.

- Look into filing an emergency order of protection if MIL is dangerous. Doesn't mean charges, but keeps her away while things are sorted.

- Lawyer ASAP to start the divorce proceedings and get your property (dog, truck) back asap. Make sure spousal support stuff is handled right too.

- Hang in there emotionally - focus on self-care too with friends/journaling. Don't engage with the crazy, just take smart legal actions.

- You've got this sis! You got out of the abuse which is huge. Now just follow lawyers advice to untangle everything else as smoothly as possible. You and pupper will be happy together again soon!

Stay strong - we're here for you! Lmk if any other advice or just an ear would help as you get through this okay? You've got this mama!

[Asker]

Tried to get pup. Mil blocked my # and pretended no one was home when I went to get pup with police. They basically told me oh well.
Working on attorney now.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's freaking messed up luv! I can't believe your ex's crazy mom actually blocked your number and pretended not to be home when you went there with the cops. What a psycho move, trying to keep your poor pup hostage like that. I bet the cops weren't much help either huh, figures they'd just be like "oh well" instead of actually doing something to get your dog back. It's a good thing you're getting a lawyer involved now, they'll know how to properly handle this sketchy situation. I'd bet that nutso mother-in-law is only keeping your pup to try and manipulate you or get back at you for leaving. Don't let her win though! Your lawyer will sure know how to apply some pressure and get your name back on paperwork and stuff to prove the dog is yours. Maybe they can even threaten the crazy fam with like kidnapping charges or something if they don't hand over the pooch. Hang in there, try not to let those psychos stress you out too much. You're doing the right thing getting legal help, soon that dog will be back where she belongs with you! Keep me posted on what your lawyer says. Fingers crossed they tear that ex and his mom a new one!

[TommyMountainFigure]

What you've described cannot be rectified by a simple 'you ask a question' and 'you receive an answer' This is extremely serious. What else is suddenly going to appear in his name?
I'm sorry because you stipulated not recommending legal representation, but you have no choice. This is one case whereby you have to fight this!

[TommyMountainFigure]

On the plus side (If there is one) they always offer a free one hour consultation.

[Asker]

I didn’t mean I’m not getting an attorney. I ment what else should I do. Sorry for the bad wording. I’m not in my right head

[TommyMountainFigure]

You don't need to apologise. The very first thing you need to do is write down dates and times of everything you can remember that has happened. Those details will go a LONG way when this case finally does come to Court/ Divorce proceedings!

[Asker]

Thank you

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're very welcome.

[IslaTheWitch]

you made an oral agreement with an abusive husband, and you expected he would do as you agreed? I think those three years were not enough for you to learn your lesson...

In your place, I would focus on the divorce first. If he doesn't want to fill out the papers, you do it.

[Asker]

You’re right, I absolutely should’ve known better. I should’ve noticed the red flags before I married him. I was just desperate to get away and he was being agreeable at the time.

[Staximus]

Stop using the dog as an excuse to keep him and his shitty family in your life. It's just a dog, not your child. I don't know how it is possible for somebody to put your truck in their name unless you just have your head up your ass all the time or are too wasted on drugs or booze to pay attention.

[Asker]

Dogs are family too. She doesn’t deserve to be left to be abused and neglected

[Asker]

I don’t drink nor do I do drugs. Where I live if you’re married the husband can put his name on anything without the wife’s consent

[KrakenAttackin]

What a bunch of babbling bullshit.

[Asker]

Why is asking for a helpful opinion on what to do next rather than acting on emotion bullshit?

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆