What's your preferred marriage setup?

[osmanthus]

Out of the modes, which of the following would you say works for you and why?

What are some of the pros and cons that you've experienced or would think about if and when or had you been in the mode you've chosen or happened to be in?

Traditional Western: 2 marriage partners of 1 male and 1 female with the male partner being the primary bread-winner with the female partner being the domestic assigned.

Contemporary Western: 2 marriage partners of 1 male and 1 female with the male being the domestic assigned and the female as primary bread-winner.

Egalitarian: 2 marriage partners of either sex or gender both being domestically assigned and bread-winners to varying degrees throughout the relationship.

Multiples: More than 1 marriage partner of either sex or gender with all somewhat domestically assigned and none as bread-winner.

[Anonymous]

I won't get married unless it is to a traditionally minded woman. For most men today, marriage is a minefield that is no longer worth the risks. The benefits of marriage for men have dwindled to the point where they no longer justify the risks and costs. Half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them, and men usually get screwed in divorce court and child custody settlements.

The only marriage that is worth the risks for men today is a traditional one.

[BarryLiverstone]

Egalitarian: 2 marriage partners of either sex or gender both being domestically assigned and bread-winners to varying degrees throughout the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I would prefer the first option if we can afford it because it's the best model for raising healthy children.

[Nikki1989]

What kind of life are you likely to have with only one bread-winner?

[osmanthus]

That is a good question. Relying on a breadwinner can make a marriage difficult in some respects. Issues with the breadwinner possibly behaving entitled simply because they pay for the most critical of things is one such possible ailment. In traditional marriages, women, overall, as homemakers, already do not receive much respect for raising their offspring from the rest of the developed countries.

[osmanthus]

I think most men might feel emasculated and possibly offended by a woman out-earning and also assuming the role of indefinite breadwinner; they might have this mentality of 'might is right' in that whom so ever holds the most money and exercises its use gets the most say and respect in the family. I do not think this is healthy but it is likely common.

[osmanthus]

If a partner has to feel they must fight for the locus of perceived control, rather than talking to their partner, then one's marriage can become lopsided and strained very quickly. I find that in egalitarian marriages there is little problem with this but there are also some expectations in egalitarian relationships that everything is 50/50 effort all the time and it's not always realistic, either, when partners cannot compromise, make concessions, etc. Many people cannot handle multiples because of its logistics and complexities with emotional entanglements, expectations, etc.

[osmanthus]

In sum, unsurprisingly, the simplest and usually the most effective mode is traditional western though egalitarian is creeping up to be the third with contemporary being somewhat removed from 2nd place. I gather 2nd place goes to most people being single or in other forms of relationship like cohabitating.

[osmanthus]

I would say the breakdown, likely, globally, is 67% would do well with western with 10% of that 67% being contemporary western, 15% single or other, 10% egalitarian, and 8% multiples.

[osmanthus]

If we're talking extreme multiples that's likely 1% of the 8% with most multiples being at least one or two other partners. After that, for most, it's nearly a Herculean feat to try and sustain.

[osmanthus]

It is fairly likely to reason that most of the 2SLGBTQA+ community members are likely more so egalitarian, rather than traditional, as there may be a grey line between traditional versus contemporary in such cases.

[Anonymous]

Traditional of course.

[LEGENDARY4200]

Traditional