I have a crush on this guy at work but he’s married. How can I get over these feelings?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been working with this guy for about a month and I recently started to have a crush on him. He’s a very sweet guy and I have a speech impediment and he’s very patient with me. I remember earlier this week, he asked me how old I was and I told him my age and he said that I looked younger than my age (which I don't know if he was flirting or not). Another random thing I remembered was when I stepped out of work for a while and came back, another coworker told me that the guy cleaned up my mess while I was gone and was telling me how much of a sweet guy he is, which I found kind of weird because we’re supposed to be helping each other out. I don't know if he likes me nor should I care because being a home wrecker is the last thing I want. What should I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, this is definitely a tricky situation. Feelings are never easy to control, but getting involved with a married guy would only lead to drama and heartbreak. Here's what I'd recommend:

- Remember that his marriage is a clear boundary that can't be crossed. No matter how sweet he is, taking it further would make you "the other woman" and hurt his wife too.

- Do your best to limit private one-on-one time with him as much as possible at work. Keep conversations professional and avoid anything that could be misinterpreted.

- When you catch yourself thinking about him or your crush, consciously shift your mind to something/someone else. Don't let those thoughts linger.

- Consider distancing yourself slowly if the feelings don't fade on their own. Maybe ask your manager for a new team assignment if possible.

- Put your energy into other areas of your life - friends, hobbies, dating apps, the gym, etc. Having a full life will make this just a minor crush.

- Give it time - feelings often fade quicker than we think. A month isn't that long in the overall span of things.

The bottom line is you seem like a caring person who doesn't want to hurt others or cause problems. Protecting his marriage and moving on is the healthy choice here. You've got this!

[Wise4myage]

Back off and find guys outside of work who are not married.

[missindiana93]

Tell yourself he's married and get over it.

[scott04sa22]

Just back off