What should I do about my feelings for a man at work?

[Anonymous]

The day I met him at my interview I was immediately attracted to him.

But then as I got to know him I realised how amazing he is too.

My first year working with him he was my manager. He then put me forward for another position and I got the job.

In my new job he and I now have the same manager. I have been doing my new job for 2 years now.

As I always found him attractive overtime I started to have a ‘crush’ on him as I got to know him better and we became close.

He is a lot older than me so I was really confused about my feelings for him and thought it would just fizzle out.

I am now 30 and he is 49. (Both single also)

But it’s been over a year of me feeling this way towards him. He and I are close and sometimes he does or says things now and again where I think he is flirting but I can never tell if he’s just being nice.

We always stop and say hi to each other, joke around, he has gave me compliments in the past on my appearance and outfits, we text each other now and again about random things like good tv shows to watch etc, when he had social media he used to like my photos but he deleted his Instagram. He stares at me a lot, leans in very close to me when we talk and is sometimes touchy feely. He does touch my arm when we joke around and always touches my hand ‘by accident’. He also teases me about stuff and has recently been asking me why I’m still single.

What can I do? I’m driving myself crazy.

[OfMiceandMen]

It seems as though he is really into you. I was in the same situation about 5 years ago and a female coworker and I got along really well.

You should really think this through. I know it is easy to put the rose colored glasses on and think everything would be grand, but you always have to play devil's advocate in these situations.

I suggest you put your attraction to him on the back burner and think this through clearly If everything is fine, then things would undoubtedly be okay, however, if things take a turn for the worse, and go badly at some point, it could effect your work environment and livelihood. If for some reason, he turns out to be ass and you break-up, you can't escape him at the workplace. He could also potentially make things very difficult for you at work, especially, if he is close to the higher-ups.

I think that is why they came up with the rule-of-thumb, "don't dip your pen in company ink". So just be careful, if you choose to move forward based on your attraction, and think it through really well.

[Asker]

Thank you so much !

[OfMiceandMen]

You're welcome and good luck with whatever avenue you choose.

[serious]

Well from what you have said, it seems he likes you too. It seems both of you like spending time with each other. Maybe you should tell him that you like him and want to take things forward.

[Chad345]

If you're both available, why not grab a casual date? :)

[In_Trance]

nothing. Don't do it