Is it odd that I don’t consider myself wife material/a catch like most women do?

Question

I mean I love myself. I love who I am. I’m not a bad person. I have my good and bad qualities. I accept that I’m imperfect in an imperfect world trying be better than what I see around me but I also recognize I’m not in the position to be a married woman. Most women I know want it but like me have some work to do but yet they still believe the right man will just fall in their laps and propose to them. I’m 28. I work a 9-5. Cleaning behind others for a living. Good pay, good benefits but I have no education in my background beyond highschool and a two years in community college which I dropped out of. I have a two year old son. I don’t drive. I stay with my parents and pay them rent for a space for my son and I. Nothing about that screams “Marry her.” And I know women in my exact position that think they should be married. I’m not saying we’re worthless. I’m very intelligent and if I went back to school I would be at my best because of my natural intelligence but I would never be crazy enough to believe that the bare minimum is enough. Maybe I’m too hard on myself and other women aren’t but I feel I should hold myself to the same standards I would hold my future husband at.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

I get where you're coming from, madamé. It's totally understandable that you don't see yourself as "wife material" or a total catch, even though a lot of other women might feel that way about themselves. You're being really honest and self-aware about where you're at in life right now.

It's cool that you love yourself and accept your flaws - that's a really mature and healthy attitude. Not everyone can do that, especially when they feel like they're not living up to society's standards of what a "good wife" should be.

I admire that you're not trying to delude yourself or pretend you're something you're not. A lot of women do get caught up in that mindset of believing "the right man will just fall in their laps." But you seem to have a more realistic perspective on what it takes to be a good partner.

The fact that you recognize your lack of formal education, your current living situation, and even not driving as factors that may not make you the most appealing "wife material" shows a lot of self-awareness. Most people would just try to gloss over those things.

At the same time, I don't think you should be so hard on yourself, sis. Just because your life circumstances don't align with the traditional "wife" mold doesn't mean you're not worthy of love and partnership. There are plenty of great guys out there who would appreciate you for who you are.

The right man for you isn't going to care about all those superficial things. He's going to see your intelligence, your self-acceptance, your dedication to your son - those are the qualities that really matter. Don't sell yourself short.

Keep working on bettering yourself and your situation if that's what you want. But don't feel like you have to conform to anyone else's standards of what a wife "should" be. Your worth isn't defined by that. Focus on being the best version of yourself, and the right person will come along when the time is right. You got this, love!

Stevepro68 · Accepted Answer

Yes to U are hard on yourself. Those issues rarely affect mens consideration for a potential mate. Except at your age a child is a problem for many 20 year old. When I met my girl what I thought I knew about her was all wrong. It didn't matter I like what I saw what a good mother she was, how kind she was even though she had a pretty crappy life. How much she was there for her family. In addition to all the things I found attractive to her. The things seen as negative by her were in fact wrong. We both were divorced we both had a kid. I thought she lived with her father, she speaks 6 languages but writing and reading English caused some unnecessary drama with texting early on. She told me that she worked as a dealer at a casino. None of that was all that important to me. Some of it was misleading on purpose. Outside of the kid I don't think any of her other issues were important to most men including me.

Babebytheshore85 · Accepted Answer

You don't love yourself , insecure, not intelligent and not pretty and well you're aware of that.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

You still have low self-esteem relating to your education

Anonymous · Answer

No. It's called humility and it's just the fact that so few single women have it (which is of course probably a big reason those women are single).

I will never knock on education. The reality is that on the avg. you make more with a degree at every stage of life than without one. But I wouldn't criticize because I also went to a two year school I also did not finish, and I still worked my way up to a high six figure net worth. So whether you go back to school or not, keep your head up. But to be completely fair I didn't not have kids. So that's going to slow ya down a bit.

Life is marathon hun. My advice is don't worry so much about what mountain to climb just make a plan and start climbing. I have a sister that had the same upbringing as me and she's went bankrupt twice. So luck will play a bigger role than most will admit in life. I'll fully admit a lot of things fell my way. But one thing I pride myself on is I never quit striving (even if it wasn't in the classroom). I'm a firm believer it isn't the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog.

Good luck!👍

Miristheiss · Answer

I'd agree. Not wife material.

Your job and education is irrelevant. There is nothing wrong with that. Most men do not care about your job unless you are stripper or travel away for your job or your job rules your life and you are too busy and hectic because you put career first.

You have some kid from a man you are not married to? That, to me, is what eliminates you from wife category. Unless you meet some man who is divorced or widowed and has his own kids. You two might be a good match.

Shiprex · Answer

I don't think you sound bare minimum. You seem grounded self aware and not overly demanding. THAT is hugely attractive for a normal guy who hasn't been too tainted by the modern dating scene. That there's a child in your life isn't that big of a hurdle, heck when I was 29 I started a relationship with a girl I had had a crush on from school 15 years earlier who had a 9 and 7 year old kids and I was cool with that (but she was a school crush so maybe there was a bias).

That you have some level of independence with income and benefits means that there is something that is less of a strain for a lot of young and building fellas who are tired of pissing into the wind with desperado demanding women with outrageous expectations of them.

in my opinion you seem pretty sound and far more wife-able than a lot of the daft tiktok bimbos keeping single women single with their nonsense online "advice" out there.

FreyaRed · Answer

I doesn't matter what you think about yourself but what others think about you. They will show how they think about you with their attitude.
Human ego often over valuates it's own attributes and traits, but sometimes this ego belittles yourself in certain aspects. That's why others are necessary. We are social animals because of that.
Oh and forget your mother or your best friend as people who estimate your value, they will do it always wrong because it's part of their ego to put you down.

Maybe in someone other perception you aren't a "good person" but a 'good catch'?

Anonymous · Answer

You are an example of the fact that most women today don't understand what men want in a woman. Your lack of a college degree, your job and the fact you live with your parents are far less significant to men in how they view a woman than those things are to women in how they view men. The only significant liability you have in the dating market is being a single mother, and that's not a deal breaker, especially considering you live with your parents who I'm guessing would be willing to watch your child while you're on dates. You just need to get out there and date.

Johtolol98 · Answer

this is exactly how i feel except im a guy. i feel like any woman who truly loved me must be doing it out of charity if it were to happen. im nowhere near like these other guys who seem to have it all and although i do feel discouraged i also know that nobody is to blame. i have autism, ADHD, ADD and bipolar 2 disorder and i might have a nerve/muscle problem also that im testing for so i can't work I've had so many jobs I've tried to work at and just couldnt ever maintain employment. just know you aren't alone and im sure a lot of people probably feel this way

Jove79 · Answer

Having a child from another man will not make you wife material in the eyes of many men. But you’ll definitely meet the right person for you, who will love you for who you are. Just be the healthiest you can be, dress well, and don’t be shy to interact more with people. When you feel and look great. You will consider yourself a catch for someone

Yohenis · Answer

Single moms are usually not seen as a wifey material dating landscape is hard for them but even though you might get some good men out there. The problem is the data pool is short. You have a self esteem issue too which might harm you in dating scenario/long run. Start loving yourself and take care of yourself. If you don't love yourself you won't be able to love anyone. Change needs to come from your side

RingOfFire · Answer

What matters is whether your heart is wife material not your brain. It's more about heart than brain.

It's someone loves you and you love him there is nothing that can't be overcome... Especially not the trivial things that you mentioned.

It's a matter of opening your heart and deciding what you want not changing your living situation.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The only thing on that list that actually hurts your chances is being a single mom, as most guys won't want to raise another guy's kid or have their wife's ex hanging around. The rest is fine.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You might have high self-esteem in other areas of your life but struggle with it specifically in the context of romantic relationships.

serious · Answer

Well, if you know that you don't consider yourself a wife material or for any long term relationships. It just means you are self aware

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Honestly, that just sounds realistic. You recognize that a lot of women buy into the notion that they are perfect the way they are and the world just needs to accept them where they're at.

Staximus · Answer

Guys don't care if you're educated or make good money. Maybe that's what you want in a guy but guys don't care about that. All they usually care about is that you don't cheat on them, you don't give them hell, and you be a contributor.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

The single mom part is really your lone handicap. Even then there are men who do not mind your having a child. The only thing keeping you alone is you.

Kelley1 · Answer

No! It is good that you know your sexual market value to men or lack of it

StevenMcGarrett · Answer

I think you are being honest with yourself. But there is some one for everyone. I'm sure there are some special characteristics about you that some guy will discover and love. Good luck.

kaucky1 · Answer

Having or being in a relationship has to have the emotional feelings🤯 so on so forth so no strings attached no need for Convo if so move this way or that 👉🤏👌👍

PaleDale · Answer

You sound like a potential wife that tons of guys would be jealous of. 🙂

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

nah same, i wouldn't wanna be a wife, men dont like me

LiaRaven · Answer

You are still young

Fury_storm · Answer

single mom. no thanks.

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