Well yeah, family jewelry is ok to ask for since there's a significant history behind it. But asking to get some more general gifts back is rude. You literally gave up your ownership of these things when you handed them over to your partner. Otherwise you can't call them gifts, you were just temporarily lending these items to them. Which defeats the purpose of a gift. So that's something you have to be prepared for in any type of relationship (or friendship, even). Don't give anything you're not prepared to never see again.
Plus, aren't most gifts sort of modified to fit your partner's likes and interests anyway? Like what are you supposed to do with the stuff once you get it back? Use it yourself? Burn it? Sell it? To me it just makes more sense to let them have it. And if they have something you want, then you should just go out and buy that thing for yourself instead of forcing them to give it back to you. Not only will it be brand new and in great condition, but it'll have none of the history too.
All in all it just seems distasteful. Breakups are hard enough as is, I think you'd only be making things harder for yourself if you tried asking for their presents back, because that will sure as hell not go down well.
Rude, rude, rude. The furthest you can take this is an engagement ring where the ring is a family heirloom throughout generations, you give it to a fiancee to ensure she proclaims to wait to marry only you and she cheats on you. You break up. You still gave it to her for that reason. Even if it all fell apart, the purpose of that gift was served and for you to ask for it back says something like: Customer service sucks here, I want my money back!
You can't. It's hers. That how gifts work. That's how people work. She's not a retail store.
If you really want it, you have to ask to buy it back from her. That's the only honorable thing to do. (same for women who gave gifts to men) Most women in such situations would just gift it back to you in the name of the past relationship and that's cool. Take it. But even if they didn't, acting dishonorable is unacceptable regardless of what others do to you.
Okay in EVERY situation. The problem is you should NEVER grow so emotionally attached to somebody you do not see a future with or marriage with. Giving somebody a family possession is the WRONG THING to do and so unwise for these reasons. MANY people if they watch Judge Judy or Divorce Court goes through this crap suing their ex's or spouse over such things. But gifts you paid out of your own money, that is your fault for ever doing that. At that point, it's best to talk about whether or not such thing should be given back or thrown out. You don't want to keep anything of that ex, as they should be in the past. I personally always say throw everything out, I don't care how expensive or give it back. Get a notarized note of it in writing and keep for reference in case somebody holds a grudge and wants to sue. You and that person are responsible for what you chose to do.
What if you buy a present to ur friend and you don't talk to them anymore? What if you gave your hairdresser a $10 tip and you don't go to her beauty salon anymore? What if you give your area homeless guy $20 and you move to a new neighborhood? What if you buy a present to your parents and you move to a university dorm? What if what if bla bla
gift is a gift if you give me something I burn it I lose it I throw it to the garbage I flush it it ain't your problem bc it's a gift thus it's called a gift
According to dictionary. com
Gift is a noun= something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone.
Personally if I get asked to give back a jewelry I'll eat it and shit it and give it back
If something bigger I'll donate it to the poor!
Cheers
if i fell in love with some dude and saat he likes reading... so i gave him one of my grandpa's first edition books... I would ask for it back cause i expected it to stay in the family and at the point I have him this gift i believed he would have joined my family.
or like if my brother gave a girl one of my great grandmothers necklaces as a gift, he would have to go and ask for it back because it belongs in our family.
but things like rings and other shiz i bought for them with my own money and stuff... they can keep cause it wouldn't make a difference if i got it back, I already spent the money and threw away the receipt having useless clutter in my room would just be a real big waste of time and energy.
in any relationship you start out as friends if I was to give you something it's because I wanted you to have it there's a reason why I wanted you to have it so and then we break up and I'm hurt but there's no way possible in this world that I could take back my gift I'm going to have you given it to you for a reason and that's because you're my friend so I think it would totally be rude now I think I gave you something that his grandmother's or something like that did you have to be the bigger person and I understand and respect you don't have to give the gift back but at the same time why not it'll mean nothing to you down the road anyway so I guess now depends on who wants to be the bigger person and walk away with a smile
u 1. An engagement ring should be returned if the engagement is broken. In my state, that is a legal obligation.
2. Any gift of a family heirloom should be returned but that is not an enforceable obligation.
3. Otherwise, it is very low class/no class to ask for the return of gifts.
in my opinion you should never give a gift that you aren't prepared to lose forever. I never expect to get a gift back.
I guess one possible exception would be an engagement ring that was a family heirloom - but if an engagement is broken off, the ring should be returned anyway.
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my ex gave me a really expensive laptop for Christmas, 2 really expensive big soft toys, and a lot more. he's only 18 and wasn't working so he used all his savings and got those for me. he NEVER asked them back. i dont know if its because he feels awkward to do so or what but I'm kind of thankful he didn't. or else it'll be really awkward. i never asked for anything back too - well, i asked him to return a sum of money he LENT from me because before we broke up, we agreed I'll lend it to him instead of giving.
I agree with @OlderAndWiser gifts like engagement rings should be given back before marriage. I was married about 7 and a half years so of course she kept her ring. I would never ask for any other gift back. I would not give a gift like a family heirloom to a girl until after marriage. I give nice gifts but nothing that has so much meaning that I would ask for it back.
My fiancé had given me some of his family's heirloom silver when we got engaged. After we broke up, I returned it. He didn't ask for it back, but it didn't feel right to keep it. I had no claim to it, and it was the last piece. His younger sister didn't even have any - who am i to keep that?
If it was a unique item that had deep sentimental value then of course it should be returned, further if it was something that wasn't paid for yet, sich as a wedding ring then it would be appropriate to return it. There should be no need to ask. Unfortunately if you are in a position to have to ask, chances are you won't see it again.
if it's truly a gift it's a one way street. people should really debate whether or not an item of importance should be given to someone they're not certain they would want to have it. If the person chooses to give it back that is their decision to do but it is certainly no place of the individual that gave it to them to request it back. to do so in any circumstance would be rude.
i think it's only ok if the gift was something personal that perhaps has sentimental value to the person who gave it... so perhaps some sort of family trinket or something like that
otherwise gifts are gifts and once given are entirely the possession of the receiver
I have never seen the point in giving back gifts or wanting gifts back. They are gifts. If I didn't want you to have it I wouldn't have given it to you. Though I see the argument when it comes to family heirlooms; I have to ask why did one give it away in the first place? I mean I'd have a pre-nupt drawn to extra-protect my family heirlooms in the event of a divorce, I'm definitely not giving them away to someone. Even if I'm married to him.
If it was a family heirloom or something it's totally appropriate to ask for it back, and if they refused that would be a suuuuuuper dick move!
Also, I feel like if an engagement is called off the ring should be given back. Unless it's because the giver cheated or abused the receiver. In that case, fuck 'em.
Other than that, I think a gift is a gift. Once given, it belongs to the person it was given to.
Unless it's something like family jewelry (which I never see anyone giving away without it being a fiance of husband/wife situation) it's extremely rude.
Don't give any significant or expensive gifts until you're sure that person is THE person for you.
If I gave my fiancée an engagement ring whether it was a priceless family treasure or bought by me @ Tiffany's, it should be returned. Judges in my state agree, its funny to see and hear about. Then you haven't seen nothing till you see Mariah and the Billionaire, lol. I will never worry bout this, I've got my marriage in...
I'm OK with whatever.
I can understand the reasons behind any option, so I don't really care.
Mainly because I don't expect anything. I pay my bills and can buy myself things I want. And I can understand that other person can have negative emotions and don't want to have this feeling of investing in someone no more is treasured.
I personally wouldn't ever give someone something I thought was so important to begin with probably because I have never connected with someone on that level.. but if someone asked for something back I wouldn't care either way more so if it was like a family item..
It's bullshit. You have a gift, you shouldn't ask for it back. Not unless you're in 3rd grade or something.
This is another good reason not to give a bitch anything that costs more than a couple dollars. You're basically throwing away any money you spend on a woman. Should have flushed it down the toilet, at least then you'd get to watch it go around the bowl and finally down.
My mom often let him keep his things. They dated on/off 8 years and i hated that she let him keep all his stuff (especially since he lived with us). But that final time, she let him keep all the clothes she bought but she kept his playstation and all his signed jerseys she bought. Lmao i loved it. So i mean it can be rude but sometimes they deserve it. Now say i got engaged or something. If we break up, nah you not gettin the ring back. I'd either keep it as a memory or pawn it
I mean, if it was expensive and you bought it for them out of love and for the relationship and stuff, then I would expect your partner to have the courtesy of returning it to you.
Even if it does come across rude, who gives a shit about this guy. If he doesn't have strong moral principles then why does he deserve not to witness 'rudeness'? 😂
I think asking for gift back after a break-up is very rude.
Cuz , as the name implies 'gift' .
If you lend something to someone, ofcourse asking for gift back.
but, gift isn't lended stuff..
at the same time asking for gift back , meaning is ' give back to me remembrances '
in all my experience , I haven't never bougth too much expensive gift to anyone..
Unless it's an engagement ring, then it's rude and pointless to ask back for something you gave freely to someone else. That's the whole point of a gift, you bought it cause you wanted to out of the kindness of your heart, no one forces to give gifts to anybody. Plus that gift is sign of your old relationship, it's holding on to something that's dead and over, so just let them keep it or throw away. I also don't think the next person would like getting a gift that use to belong to an ex.
My friends was taken on a date by her boyfriend because they were boyfriend and girlfriend for 100 days (They`re 13) But a week after that, she broke up with him because she wasn`t in love with him anymore. She didn`t want to do it before the 100 days because he was so happy about it, but she had to pay her side of the date back, and it wasn't even a chique date, smh..
No, it has been given, and therefore it’s her thing now. I don’t own it. In the other hand, I own things, which she gave me. And I still have and use something from my first relationship. From someone, who I really don’t want to see ever again, even if she was the last person on this planet.
Engagement rings and any families jewels or a car should be given back out of decency and self respect on the part of the woman and vice versa without the need to ask. Keeping stuff like that is mercenary and low.
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