What gift is too intimate for close male friend?

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone, i would like to ask a question and opinion from all of you.

first of all, i'm a female, want to give a close male friend a gift for his birthday, he's like a big brother for me and already married, we're also a colleague at work. what i have in mind is i want to give him a watch, but is it too intimate? if it is, what kind of gift that also not suitable to be given? and if there's a specific reason why please also share since i want to know too

thanks in advance

[SnowedIn]

You are incredibly thoughtful to consider giving him such a gift. And even more thoughtful to consider asking the question here.

Yes, the watch is too intimate. It's a great gift, but too intimate. Even if you're just close friends, all his friends will question it and his wife will too. See the scenario as if you were a fly on the wall in their bedroom as they're getting dressed: he has three watches: one from you, one from his wife, one he bought himself. He picks the one you gave him and it snuggles on his skin all day. No one, especially his wife, will believe it's anything other than inappropriate or that he has some special feeling for you. Your kind gesture will be lost.

If you want to acknowledge your close connection with him without crossing the intimate line, give him a book. Or a framed piece of art (not expensive) that you know he'll like or his wife would also appreciate. A very nice pen would also acknowledge that you're both close but doesn't cross the intimate line and has the added benefit that he can use it at work. A bottle of wine or special liquor would work too: shows him that you know him, that you care as a friend, but isn't over the line intimate.

[Asker]

Thanks, i really appreciate your opinions and also explanation on this matter, i see it as too intimate too after this, also your idea about book is good too, he likes to read novels, and now the next question i have to figure out is, which novel should i bought him hahahha

[SnowedIn]

Funny, I just posted a question about this yesterday! Here are some book suggestions for you:

* The Pillars of the Earth trilogy, by Ken Follett
* For God, Country & Coca-Cola and Uncommon Grounds (the history of coffee and how it transformed the world), both by Mark Pendergrass
* Barons of the Sea (and their race to build the world's fastest clipper ship), by Steven Ujifusa

[Asker]

will definitely check those out, thanks for the suggestion!!!

[zayndan]

I dont think you should worry so much about the gift being to intimate, unless you have feelings for him which can influence you to perhaps do something like that. What I'd say, is to put yourself in the wife's shoe, and consider what gift would be offensive to you, if a female gave it to your husband. Because that's the only person who may perhaps get uncomfortable, the wife. So would u like another female to purchase a watch for your husband?

[Asker]

it's clear that i have a feeling for him, but not in a romantic way, i see him as more like my big brother that i can rely on and share my thought freely and i think he's also like that towards me

about the wife that's the problem, i'm not that close to her that i will know how she'll react. as for myself i don't mind if my "husband" receive a watch from his close female friend, if i also know her well, that's why i'm hesitate to chose the watch

as for you zayndan, if you would receive a watch from your close female friend will you think something more is up? is it too intimate?

[zayndan]

I think watches and jewelry tend to be romantic gifts. Seeing that you and his wife aren't that close, maybe you should consider getting him something else, because she may not see it as a harmless gift as u intend. Personally, if the watch is inexpensive, I won't think much if I recieved it from a friend. If it cost some dollars, then I'd think something is up

[Asker]

Yup and i think watch is out of the picture now, thanks for the opinion

[PrettyPriya]

Seeing as how that is for a lot of guys the only piece of jewelry they wear, I would say it is too intimate and not something I would consider. That is just me though. I am thinking of what the reaction would be from a very close guy friend of mine. I think it would be confusion but not totally sure.

Why not get him something that would be personal but less intimate. This is just an example but a really nice frame for his office that he can put a picture of his wife and/or family. Something along those lines.

It could be something else personalized and work related. I think that is more appropriate given he is married. I don't know what your relationship is like with the wife, but you don't want any misunderstandings with her. That could ruin your friendship. Now, if the relationship is good, that is another story. I still think that a watch is not the right gift from a friend/coworker.

[Asker]

Thanks for your response, that's too intimate afterall, i really should change my gift then
the reason i want to give him a watch is because he give me a bracelet matching with his wife and little sisters, as for my relationship with her wife is indeed i'm not quite familiar since he's on LDR with her wife, but we occasionally met, but i think me and his wife are only on "know" basis, but knowing his personality he share everything with his wife

as for the frame, i will keep it in mind
thanks once again PrettyPriya!!!

[PrettyPriya]

You are most welcome! 🙂

[OlderAndWiser]

Since he is married, you must be careful that your gift is not perceived as an expression of amorous feelings. A watch is not intimate in a sexual sense but, because of the price, is usually given to a dating partner and not just a frend. The best gift in this situation will be one tht he and his wife can enjoy together. Perhaps a couple's massage session? A bed tray so that they can serve each other breakfast in bed? Two tickets to a concert?

[Asker]

Ah i see, this opens up new kind of idea, why didn't i think of that before hahaha, thanks for the idea

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck!

[Summeroflove]

I think it’s good to pick him something out you know he would like that’s thoughtful

[Asker]

well that's why i want to give him a watch, but i think it's not a good idea

[Summeroflove]

I think a watch would be a nice gift.

[Asker]

Is it not too intimate though? is it not weird for you to receive a watch from your female friend without thinking there's some deeper meaning to that?

[Summeroflove]

No not really. I think it’s a really nice gift. Especially if he’s married if he’s a decent guy then. I think that it would be fine.

To be honest sometimes people can get the wrong idea on stuff and times where that happens it isn’t your fault.

If I was married. A gift would just be a gift. If by chance he did. Just be clear you mean nothing else by it

[Summeroflove]

I think a watch is fine. I don’t know why someone would think something else really?

[Asker]

Yeah, but as other response said i should watch for his wife feelings too. And i think a watch is indeed too much if i don't know his wife well

[Summeroflove]

Look. If someone takes a innocent gift the wrong way then that’s on them. It’s a gift. If you don’t want to get him a watch then dont

But I think it’s a nice gift and nothing wrong with it. I think it’s fine.

[Asker]

But still i don't want to cause unnecessary potential problem for him, and i guess a watch is out. thanks for your opinion on this though

[Summeroflove]

You’re welcome. I think a watch is fine. I think you’re overthinking it. I think normal people would appreciate it

[Asker]

i will keep that in mind if i don't find better option hahaha

[Summeroflove]

Okay lol. Whatever you get him I’m sure he will appreciate

[Asker]

thanks once again summer :)

[Summeroflove]

You’re welcome!