Is she too sophisticated for me?

[Anonymous]

Met a pretty girl who I thought might be interested in me, but no idea how long that will last...

She obviously reads a lot, and she was talking to me about all these books she's read. I just kind of nodded my head, because I was afraid to admit to her that I don't really read for fun.

I'm more into pop culture stuff, and she's more into high-end literary stuff. My idea of fun is more along the lines of watching mindless television and playing video games. She was embarrassed to admit she watches any TV, but the only TV she watches is British television...not even American TV!

I think she was attracted to me because I'm well-educated and fairly intelligent, even though my tastes are not very high-culture.

So what do you think I should do? Is this worth pursuing or is she going to quickly lose interest in me?

[SeeingEye]

Pursue and run with it!

There are several advantages to your situation you are over looking, and they key is new experiences. You see, people who have a different interest than you are people that you will help you grow as a person and it will help them grow as well.

If you don't mind I am just going to pick a part the word you had used in this topic in each of the definitions. (My comments will be in Double Brackets for each point)

so·phis·ti·ca·tion

[suh-fis-ti-key-shuhn] Show IPA

noun

1.

sophisticated character, ideas, tastes, or ways as the result of education, worldly experience, etc.: the sophistication of the wealthy.

(( Ideas and Tastes are they key to this part of the definition. These vary between different people and this really just boils down to what you know. Because someone reads a lot and so on, does not mean you do not have sophisticated tastes and ideas as well. It simply indicates a differen topic! This is a key stepping stone to a good relationship as you two will have a lot to share with each other and both will have new learning experiences, provided you two are patient enough :) ))

2.

change from the natural character or simplicity, or the resulting condition.

3.

complexity, as in design or organization.

((All women are complex, but so is every other person! Don't be intimidated by knowledge. If she digs you, go for it and treat it as a learning experience and take it in stride. As long as you two are willing to teach each other, both of your knowledge will not be a dividing factor, rather the opposite))

[NerdInDenial]

Why not try it? They always say opposites attract. Maybe, she's looking for a guy who's more laid back and less of a snob. Look at it this way: she can make you more sophisticated, and you can make her more fun.

[Anonymous]

I say be honest with her, you are who you are now show it off. If she doesn't like you, then f*** it.. but I say its worth a try, just because you have different interests and like different things doesn't mean you guys can't work.. try it and don't be so negative about her losing interest, if it doesn't work then it doesn't, but at least you know you tried

[Anonymous]

I'm curious what you like about her? I see why she's attracted to you, as I'm like her and assume (which I probably shouldn't) that well-educated and smart people generally aren't huge fans of pop culture (not that there's anything wrong with pop culture of course). But what makes you want to get to know her if you think you have such different interests?

[Asker]

LOL, I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan of pop culture either, but more so than she is probably. I'm also more of a nerd-geek hybrid, where as she's more of a pure nerd.

We're both PhD students and we work in the same narrow field. That's how we know each other. So it's not like we don't have anything in common. It's weird because our work interests and ambitions are very similar, but our other interests differ quite a bit I guess.

How would you react in her situation?

[Opinion Owner]

As long as you have some of the same interests, it wouldn't be an issue to me. I don't look down upon anyone for not having "sophisticated" interests but don't try to impress her by being someone you're not (common sense I guess lol). I would, however, show some interest in the things she likes and vise versa for her. If you like her, you might as well give it a try. Good luck

[Asker]

Well, thanks for the encouragement!

I'm willing to give it a try, although I guess I'm also afraid of getting my heart broken since I've been down that road so many times.

I'm older than her too, which also makes me feel ashamed that my interests are comparatively juvenile to hers...especially for my age. It's going to make me feel even worse if she's thinks the same way. Like you originally said, I guess I'm just afraid that she assumed I was different than I really am.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean if both of you are going for your PhDs., you must each have a desire to learn even if it's not about the same things. If you're nice and genuinely care about her, it's honestly stupid of her to reject you from the start.

[ilovecookies]

At the end of it all, you are trying to find a woman who can accept you for who you are so don't be afraid to show her who you really are. If she cannot accept you, then she really isn't the one for you, then it would save you some time to find another girl instead. If she accepts you, good for you, a step closer to a perfect girl :)