I dated this girl for about 18 months, starting in high school. I did not like the whole idea of having a girlfriend in college and I kind of wanted to "reinvent" myself at school. So after dating her for a little while in college I finally snapped and ended it with her. I changed as a person and I realized that. We talked a little bit when I came home and she even called me out on the fact that I changed. I did not change for the better but it definitely made me a better person and I got back to being myself after 5 or 6 months. I knew I made a mistake, but I'm not one to regret many things because you have to learn from experience. Anyway I went all summer knowing that I want this girl back because I know I love her more than anything. I just didn't have the balls to say anything. So then I went back to school and I started to kind of start talking a little more to her. Then I had a big realization that I really I want her back more than anything. By this point she had kind of been "talking" to another kid and I started to get a little jealous or whatever. So then I went back to school again and I find out they started dating and I talked to her a little bit about it. I didn't tell her everything I wanted to say but I told her I couldn't see myself with anybody else when its all said and done. We broke up primarily because I went to school, everything else was pretty great, I just kind of lost myself. Then when I finally was ready to have the balls to say something she has a new guy. Like I said before I probably have been feeling this way for about a year and its just taken me a while to realize I need to say something. I'm kind of just looking more for opinions, but I don't really want to hear "o you're still so young" that's bull. I know how I feel and we had something special and I messed up I can admit it. I think I needed it, but I'm just afraid I will never get her back because she obviously likes this new guy. And I just don't know the right way to go about the situation. I still talk to her a little probably once every couple of weeks since she had this new guy. But its just short conversations because I feel like I'm annoying her. I want her back so bad, but I think if I try to intervene too much then I'll end up pushing her further from me, but if I don't do anything I could lose her forever. Any input would be helpful
Also I talked to one of her friends, I was planning on coming back home just to talk to her and essentially she told me to just stay out of it because I was the one who messed up in the first place. I really just don't want to lose her forever, I keep telling myself that eventually they probably will break up and that's fine I can wait, but there is obviously that chance they don't and I guess that is what really is bugging me more than anything.
Last update, I crushed her pretty hard when we broke up and I don't know how she really thinks about me now that she's "moved on". I know it is a pretty selfish thing to think, but I really do feel like she is the one for me and I'm afraid since I hurt her so bad I might be out of reach, even though when I asked her about "us in the future" she said she was a forgiving person, but I still don't know