My boyfriend might be spending New Year's Eve without me - is this a bad thing?

[Anonymous]

So me and my boyfriend have known each other for over six months. We have had a "thing" for five and a half months but started dating officially for about three and a half months. On Christmas Eve he was at my house for a family party. I brought up NYE and he said in kind of a low voice that he was invited to the bars by some friends. He didn't tell me who. The thing is I'm not 21 yet and he is (I'll be 21 in about 9 months and he turns 23 in February). He didn't tell me if he was gonna go or not but knowing him it wouldn't surprise me if he did. I don't wanna be that clingy girl or anything but isn't NYE the time you spend with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife? I'm actually becoming upset by this and I just want to be sure that this is actually something to get upset over. I don't care that he goes to the bars with friends in general but it's NYE, there are other bar nights. Though if he did spend NYE with me, I'm not sure what we would do. Should I be upset by this?

Updates

+1 y

He told me he told his friends no because he didn't want to leave me behind. We ended up going to a house party and we both had a blast. Thanks to all who have answered!

[madhatters4]

well this is tough. nye is a big bar night as well...but like you said often times people spend nye with the people they care about (the whole new year's kiss and what not)

i think the biggest problem is that you just haven't mentioned it to him. I think in your effort not to appear "clingy" you have run into the problem of not clearly stating what you would like. it is not clingy or needy to say,

..."hey I know you have plans to go to the bar and we haven't made plans yet btu I really hoped we might spend new years together. Anyway we could have or go to a party where you can be with your friends and I can be involved too?"

I think you don't want to be pushy, needy or clingy but at the same time your desires may go by the wayside if you don't clearly state your desires

don't be upset just resolve the matter. explain to him that you'd like to maybe figure out a way you two can be together for nye while at the same time not stopping him from seeing his friends

[madhatters4]

@update...glad to hear things went well. often times a little communication is all it takes. sounds like you and your dude have a good relationship if you are able to overcome these little issues

[Pedantic]

Well if you are putting it official at 3 and a half months its iffy, but I personally would lean to spending it with the girl. Considering he will be 23 shortly, he sould be "over" the whole alcohol thing after having been 21 for two years. But if alcohol + friends is that important, then it would be appropriate to leave you behind.

He could get into something sticky with an underage person around, even if the plan starts off well events have a way of cascading. Tying that off from the start is sensible policy.

If he feels the relationship is not that far progressed, he may not think it is time to spring you on meetings with parents / friends / other and that might factor into it too.

[Pedantic]

re: update. Glad to hear he told his friends where his priorities were!

[Brelee625]

Let your guy do what he wants since it's only been a few months. I have never forced my exes to spend new years with me until 2011 I never spent any time with a guy. This year my fiance is spending it with me. If he wants to spend it with you go for it but if he doesn't don't worry about it.