Looks Aren't Everything, But Neither is Personality

[MissMc3]

We always see things in the media claiming that personality is the only thing that matters and that looks shouldn't/don't matter. Am I the only one who believes that isn't the case?

Hear me out.

Of course who a person is on the inside is SO INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT, but I don't think people give enough credit to beauty, or in some cases, lack thereof.

My first point:

How a person takes care of themselves says so much about them

The first time you meet someone it's next to impossible not to judge their character from the way they look. For example, if you're a girl and you meet two boys, one has a nice scent, clean styled hair, and American Eagle clothes and the other smells of BO, has messy hair, and is wearing Walmart brand clothes, will you think, "that second guy seems like he could really make me happy"?

And the same Vice Versa.

Being clean and taking care of yourself means you are reliable, independant, and civilized. These are things you want in a potential partner.

Second:

Having a fit body means you are healthy

Being fit (I.E. Muscular, athletic, strong) means different but equally important things between the two sexes. A fit woman will be fertile and have healthy and easy pregnancies and a fit man can protect and provide for the woman and the children. This dates back to the beginning of time. When humans were cavemen, no man or woman would seek an overweight mate, because that just wouldn't be logical.

This is not supposed to be offensive to overweight people but I cannot say I agree with promoting obesity and telling children "every body is beautiful" because we should be promoting nutritious eating and fitness. Which is healthy, happy, and sexy!

Being fit also tells that a person is strong-willed, persistent, and capable.

Third:

A pretty face is both telling AND healthy

A beautiful face can say a lot about a person and a lot about their health. When you meet a person with a clear complexion, white teeth, and volumous hair they appear more put-together, organized, and healthy. It signifies competence, good genes, and morale. As opposed to someone with acne, yellow-ish teeth, and fine brittle hair who would appear sickly, unkempt, unreliable, and unhygenic.

There are so many little things that indicate bigger things on a persons face. A person with dark underneath, yellowing, or bloodshot eyes is probably sickly, under stress or dealing with exhaustion and a person with patchy skin can have heart issues. To the intrained eye, these things just seem "unattractive" but the real reason you see it that way is because they are signs of an unhealthy person.

https://kimberlysnyder.com/blog/2009/12/05/how-our-face-reveals-how-healthy-our-organs-are/

Fourth and finally:

The way a person dresses ALSO says so much about them as a person

Everybody has their own type. Whether you're a girl who likes bad boys or you're a guy who likes girly girls. The way a person dresses can potentially amp up their attractiveness to the right person. A man dressed in a suit will usually be seen as more attractive to a woman because it will appear that he is sophisticated, smart and hygenic. Vice versa; a woman will usually appear more attractive to a man whilst she is dolled up in a dress and heels because she will appear confident, elegant, high-class, and once again, hygenic.

Being attractive and well-kempt makes people confident and happy which attributes to their health and personality. So the next time you think that someone is shallow for judging a persons character by the way they look, just remember that even though who a person is inside is the most important thing in the world, looks are also very important.

[Bandit74]

I agree with everything

Also worth noting is thar a lot of people think they like a person for their personality when in actualit the other persons beauty is causing you to see their personality through rose colored glasses.

You could meet a less attractive person with the same personality traits but you'd perceive their personality differently than you would the more attractive one.

I remember thinking once when I had a crush on a famous model.. this girl travels all over the world taking her clothes off for old dudes with cameras and is probably average at best intellectually but in my mind I was thinking "I wish I could date this girl, she's so sweek and nice and beautiful" But i later thought to myself I'd NEVER even consider dating an average looking girl who posed nude for other men or who worked in that kind of industry.

So the point is beauty can also cause you to overlook flaws in a person that you wouldn't overlook in a less attractive person. Or to see their personality as better than it really is. It's not just guys who do this, girls do it too.

People want to push that personalit is all that matters bullshit but to deny how much influence beauty has is almost insulting. Beauty I'm a way influences your personality, your personality is influenced by your inate genetic predispositions (nature) AND how people treat you (nurture). So how you look influences how other children and even your parents will treat you. (studies have shown that parents often treat their attractive children better without even realizing it) And it's no secret that the way you look influences how other kids treat you.

So in a way your adult personality whether good or bad was influenced/molded by your appearance.

[Bluemax]

I've heard similar studies about how teachers treat more attractive children better, and that children treat more attractive teachers better.

[Bandit74]

@Bluemax
youve said you're a teacher, right?

Do you think you've treated your better looking students differently?

[Bluemax]

No, I don't think I am, particularly in light of the fact that I was made aware of that study. However, if I am to be honest, then I must say that I am not an unbiased observer of myself. Nor are any of us.

But my students tend to really like me. They think I'm funny.

[Bandit74]

You do seem like you'd be a cool teacher.

Whats your opinion of cosmetic surgery?

[Bandit74]

@Bluemax

[Bluemax]

Hmm. As for cosmetic surgery, I generally don't have a problem with it.

As with all things, it can be done to excess. The fact that it can be done to excess doesn't make it bad. Simply don't do it to excess. There are risks, as there are always risks when going under the knife. However, there are risks when a dentist anesthetizes you.

However, it should be noted that a lot of cosmetic surgery needs to be touched up and/or worked on in later years, and a significant number of surgeries go wrong. However, if a person is informed of these risks and decides to go through with it, I don't have a problem with that.

Also, many conditions make people very poor candidates for cosmetic surgery. My friend, a dateless, kissless virgin who is only a little younger than I has FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome). When he bemoans his loveless existence, sometimes people suggest cosmetic surgery. However, his parents already looked into that when he was a teen...

[Bluemax]

... Every cosmetic surgeon turned him away because he is a poor candidate for it (and contrary to the stereotype, cosmetic surgeons frequently refuse patients). I've known other people with other disfigurements due to various disabilities, and cosmetic surgeons have turned them away stating there isn't anything they can do for them.

Still, when people want to improve their appearance through surgery and are good candidates for it, it's something of a mystery to me why people oppose this. If someone's faced goes through a windshield of a car in an accident and left scarred and disfigured, virtually everyone supports this person getting reconstructive surgery. But if they're born with a shovel face, why then do some people oppose improving it through surgery? So it's like if you're born ugly, cosmetic surgery is (somehow) wrong. However, if your beautiful face was smashed in an accident, all of the sudden people say, "Oh, reconstructive surgery is the way to go!"

[Bluemax]

I'll bet you got more than you bargained for in this answer.

If you're still awake and not sorry you asked ;) thanks for reading it.

[Bandit74]

@Bluemax
So it's like if you're born ugly, cosmetic surgery is (somehow) wrong. However, if your beautiful face was smashed in an accident, all of the sudden people say, "Oh, reconstructive surgery is the way to go!"

Exactly! it doesn't make any sense.

Personally I think it would be cool if technology could advance to the point that cosmetic surgery was safer and more precise so that people could "choose their appearance".

[Bluemax]

A lot of people can change their appearance without surgery. That is far preferable to surgery. I think everyone would agree on that.

[vishna]

I'd like to comment on a few things.

1st, there is nothing wrong with wearing Wal Mart clothing. Nothing at all. American eagle clothing can look just as bad as wal mart clothing. It's about the person's style and how they care for their clothing. Of course a tailored suit made of the best fabrics will look better than a handed down 70's suit. But, the name brand shouldn't be that big of a deal to a person.

2nd, fit does not always equate to healthy. Usually it does signify better health and lifestyle. But, there IS beauty in every size. And just because someone is more overweight doesn't mean they are going to drop dead because of a heart attack or develop diabetes.

3rd, if someone has yellow teeth and brittle hair, that doesn't mean they're unreliable. There's a difference between looking perfect, looking average, being sick, and being a slob.

Also, dark circles are not signs of bad health. It's genetic, lots of people have eye circles that run in the family. And it doesn't indicate health but traits. A slightly darker pigmentation around the eyes is actually attractive to me, some of the most beautiful women in the world to me have this hyper pigmentation.

I do 100% agree that dressing well is important, especially in the work place or other professional situations/settings.
Yes, taking care of yourself and your hygiene is important and also a huge self esteem booster.

[loveisbeautiful]

All that is very superficial and completely untrue, in my opinion. And, if I go by everything you wrote here I should just never date at all because I'm apparently worth crap if I go by your list.

1) unless you're rich enough to by fancy clothes and have a team of hair and makeup experts to make you look good, chances are we all shower but are just average looking folk and look the best we can for the money we have and the style we like. I'm also sure there's a lot of fancy ass people who are unreliable and co-dependent, just saying.

2) I will never understand why people assume because your fit, that you're somehow healthy or could never get sick. My mom knew a guy who was fit and did eat healthy and went to the doctor all the time, but that didn't stop his heart from giving out on him. He went running on the beach one morning and dropped dead of heart attack, guess being fit doesn't guarantee you anything.

3) A pretty face, is just a pretty face and that pretty face could be covering up a lot with makeup, just saying. But, how many people realistically have teeth as white as people on TV? I mean, nobody has the money for that and acne can't be avoided and it doesn't go away so easily.

4) This ones annoys me as much as 1,2 and 3 does.

You can fool people with who you are on the outside but your true colors on the inside can't change, you just are who you are. Also, it's stuff like this that's makes people like me feel like crap about themselves because they don't look or act perfect and no one should have to feel like they're worthless if they don't look like they came off a magazine cover. I disagree with this, all of it.

[MissMc3]

Listen, acting like a child about it because you feel unattractive is silly, "just saying".

1) Despite how poor/wealthy you are you can always dress your best, some people don't.

2) Actually yes, most of the time fitness is health. THAT IS WHAT FITNESS IS. If it wasn't healthy, why would people bother? Do you think a fit person is just as likely to get diabetes as an obese person? If you do, that is sad. There are rare exceptions to everything (like your example) that doesn't prove you right.

3) A NATURALLY pretty face, (clear skin, white outer eyes, good teeth, thick hair) DOES mean health. If you don't understand that, you are a lost cause.

4) You really think your unattractive-biased opinion of "annoyance" matters?

I never said personality wasn't important, I'm "just saying" attractiveness (HEALTH) is ALSO important. Get over yourself. I disagree with all of you.

[loveisbeautiful]

I'm not going argue with you, if that is what you believe then that is what you believe. I just don't agree and I don't feel that way, at all. You are a teenager and sometimes when you're younger you tend to have different view of things then when you are older, so maybe as you go down your life's journey you'll see things that will change your mind or maybe not but I'm not going to try to change your mind for you.

Also, I don't appreciate people lashing out at me and saying things like "I'm a lost cause" when I was just stating my own opinion. If I offended you, I'm sorry but I just don't see the world that way. I never have and never will, it's just not in my nature. I will always believe beautiful on the inside, makes the outside even more beautiful but a beautiful outside can't make you beautiful on the inside if you're not. Also don't believe that how you look defines your character, I don't believe that. I try to look my best but, that's what makes my character.

[Albinoninja66]

I couldn't agree more! People aren't shallow for caring about looks! I see it as personality is worth 55% and physical appearance is worth 45% how you look is very important and it is a first impression to everyone. It can also tell people a lot about your personality. Like if you're a slob or if you like to be healthy.

[Bluemax]

If, heaven forbid, you were in an accident and your face was burned or disfigured, would you be totally OK with people judging your character based on that? I'm not talking not being attracted to you, but I mean people judging you "unreliable" and "unhygienic" (the author's own words). Would you be OK if people started doing that to your friend or loved one? If you had a son or daughter born with a facial disfigurement, would you be OK with people making judgments about his/her character based on an ugly face?

[Albinoninja66]

Obviously you don't look at someone that got their face burned off and think: "he must not take care of himself because his face is burned off!" You can answer you own question

[Albinoninja66]

Your*

[MissMc3]

@Albinoninja66 Obviously the old man did not understand the take, just ignore his ignorance.

[Creole_Flavor]

The way a person dresses doesn't tell anything about them nor does having a beautiful face say anything about your health it is natural and based on genetics for most people. A healthy person on the inside is more important than what they look like on the outside and just because someone works out does not mean they are overall healthy it just means they are fit. A well groomed person just says good hygiene but it says nothing about how they are as a person and how they treat others the same goes for the way a person dresses that says nothing about how they treat others only how they like to dress which is why I don't care too much about these things.

[Albinoninja66]

You understood nothing from this take then

[loveisbeautiful]

I totally agree with you.

[Bluemax]

Gotta respectfully disagree with you, Creole_Flavor. How a person dresses can tell you something about their personality, but not always. Similarly, a person's facial features can give subtle clues as to their health, but again not always.

[Creole_Flavor]

@Bluemax I guess sometimes but not always like you said or not that much

[Bluemax]

I've never believed that looks don't or shouldn't matter. They do and there are reasons why they do.

You tend to make a lot of statements like, being x means the person is y.
I would have worded it more like being x often means the person is y. For example overweight usually is unhealthy, but I've known some overweight people are healthy. Similarly, I've known some athletic people who suffer from health problems. I think what you said is generally true, but far from always true. Hence why I would have used the word "often."

As for the beauty of a person's face, there are many genetic disorders which would distort and disfigure one's face which have nothing to do with the person being unreliable or unhygienic.

[Glue-Sniffer]

Having a fit body doesn't mean you're healthy... A beautiful face is just pleasing to look at for a few days then one gets used to it... Basically the same thing that happens to the newest version of iPhones!
Now, taking care of oneself and dressing nicely reflects a person's values and attitude toward life, so it's part of one's personality.
You might have a stunningly beautiful face and body, but with an ugly personality no one will stay besides you.
If you don't have a beautiful face and a fit body but a nice personality, people still gravitate toward you even if your looks are less than perfect.

[oracle12c]

oh your picture is so cute.

[Floyd790]

Generally speaking a fit body does mean you are healthy

[MissMc3]

Yes it does, obviously. I'm just ignoring this comment altogether. @Floyd790

[Glue-Sniffer]

Lol... Sure... and you know because you're a doctor and have conducted enough studies to confirm that?
Or is it because you just repeat wkat you have been fed?
Seriously, come back and talk to me when you have evidence that all fit people are generally healthier than not so fit people.
Because there's no fit person out there with elevated liver enzymes and cholestrol. And because everyone who is not fit suffers from various health issues...
Oh my... When do you little kids learn to not quote statistcs, when you don't know how to use them?

[MissMc3]

Duuuuude... just... dude. Since when is obesity healthy? Isn't it common knowledge that overweight people die younger, are more prone to cancer, heart problems, diabetes, and various other organ failures/problems?
Seriously, go to school. Or a gym apparently.

[Lolomon]

This is my take on this... i agree with this however its shallow in a lot ways. Personality and looks changes on people. Peoples personalities changes hundreds of times during their life time hence why a lot of people say whom they married is not who they are married to or who they started dating is not who they are dating now. Personalities are ever evolving with people. Looks, bodies are ever evolving as well either for the better or worse. I believe successful relationships go deeper than looks, personalities or a certain emotional connection. I believe mates are found on a biological level, and each person has a handful of biological compatible people they can be with. This with modern science has been proven more fact than fiction.

[Frost_Byt3]

The only thing i must add is that you can be perfectly healthy without being entirely ripped. Some people can be super healthy, but just can't get a ripped body because of their genes and/or body type.

And quite frankly, i don't think its realistic to expect perfect bodies from people because you can be perfectly healthy and have a smooth body with slight toning and slight muscles.

[MusicMayhem]

Personality is such a broad term covering endless possible traits, i just hate when people say personality is more important. That means shit all unless you specify in great detail what personality traits you as an individual with unique tastes desire from someone.

[Albinoninja66]

Exactly!

[zagor]

Sorry, but wearing heels make me think she is more likely to be a shallow bimbo more concerned with fashion than the long-term health of her feet - not something sought in a mate. Likewise, if she is wearing expensive designer labels it would appear she is really concerned about image and not quality and intelligent choice.

On a guy, ties are about the most useless cultural vestiges imaginable (apparently derived from the fashion of wearing scarves that originated among French officers); it is not coincidence that that are so rare in high tech and entertainment and anywhere else where creativity is valued over conformity.

Of course people should be hygienic, but you can be that way in jeans and a t-shirt. And you will probably be a lot more hygienic in Houston in August if you are wearing shorts-and-t than in a suit and tie.

[TheButterfly]

I've worn heels since elementary school yet im entering college two years early, maybe not all stereotypes are true.

[Anonymous]

I agree with most of it, but the face part to an extent. I have an ugly face, but it's not because of dark under circles, or yellow teeth or any lines. I take good care of my appearance, and a lot of people even think I look younger than I am. I still get I'D'd even though I'll be 29 soon. I go for regular check ups from my doctor, and he would tell me if I was unhealthy.

My facial features is what makes me unattractive. I have all masculine facial features. I look more like a guy than a woman. Otherwise I take very good care of myself. I am very fit and I am very clean and I dress well.

Other then that though, I do like this MyTake. It is very spot on. I hate when people say if you pick looks before personality it means you are shallow. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to your significant other. For the record, I don't blame men for not wanting me.

[BackInGame]

Personality = how we perceive someone according to his facial appearance.

Bad looking + funny = clown
Good looking + funny = has a sense of humor
Good looking + not funny = has a sense of humor
Bad looking + not funny = ...
Good looking + awkward = cute
Bad looking + awkward = creep
Good looking + douche-bag = confident
Bad looking + douche-bag = idiot
Good looking + idiot = has a bad day
Bad looking + idiot = severe retard
Good looking + confident = confident
Bad looking + confident = wanna be

You get the idea, right?

[fortheloveoflyrics]

I was once told 'If you're not physically attracted to someone, you may never be attracted to anything else about them.' I think that applies quite well. You're not shallow if you want someone who's attractive.

[Anonymous]

Its looks first over everything else. The biggest blatant lie you will hear on gag is that super attractive women are dating ugly guys on the regular, but that's just a lie. Trust me if a super attractive woman is with a ugly guy, that guy 99.9% of the time has money. Hugh hefner and Rick Ross don't get all them women simply because they are so "confident" and have "game" lol if that's what misguided idiots want to believe

[TripleAce]

Really it's both! Not one or the other.. looks and personality goes hand in hand

[TheEroticJester]

funny part is hair is not necessarily under control aand in fact natural tooth color is not supposed to be bright, sparkling white. White yes but not that overly bleached, super white look you get on some people.

I personally think that saying things about a person's face is just stupid and shows low class, as facial features can't be controlled.

Everything else (dressing, gym) I agree with. Branding is just social brainwashing but it should be clean and ironed, whatever you wear.

[Blackjack_]

Personality is and will always be the key to a great relationship and marriage. If you just look hot, it might be fun in th bedroom for a while but that comes off pretty fast.

Looks though, of course are also importent, thats why i feel like everybody should make the best out of themselves.

[when_in_rome]

I feel that you are right to a degree, especially for first impressions.

But thing you can't really help, such as genes and even acne, I don't think it's fair to judge. I mean I'm very hygienic and wash my face regularly but I still get pimples. It's kind of a part of most adolescents. But for the most part, I agree

[Bonnie12I27I12]

people are just lazy. they dont exercise, eat right, or take care of themselves and go around saying "people should love me for my personality". how are people supposed to love you when you dont love yourself enough to take care of yourself?

[Albinoninja66]

This is the number one reason of why people say that personality is all that matters. If you say that you're only attracted to personality and that you don't care about looks then you are lying to yourself.

[Anonymous]

I bet everyone who answers positively to this mytake is beautiful/handsome and well dressed. I know I sure am and its nice that someone can recognize how hard I work on both looks and personality, but because I look good people really critically judge my character like they wouldn't judge a less attractive person.

[R3d_Anonymous]

So true. Physical attraction is very important in a romantic relationship.