From a young age I have had pretty good instincts for who is a good person and who isn't. I've learned that when I feel uncomfortable around a friends parents for some inexplicable reason, to trust that and stay away from them. I am often proved right when that friend starts to tell me about their new bruise, or how narcissistic their parents are.
I’ve become close with a lot of teachers before having something happen in my life, and I’m able to go to them for some moral or mental support. There are councillors I have been more than comfortable talking to, they helped immensely, and others where I clam up, and later find that they have a reputation of simply handing out medication willy-nilly and not helping anyone like they should be.
From the moment I met my step mother I hated her, and was proven right in that when she proved to be narcissistic, verbally, mentally and physically abusive. Yet at the same time I was comfortable asking advice from her, because although she was typically very hard to be around, she could impart some good advice, and at times seemed to genuinely care.
Then there are others that I became close to very quickly. And had my heart broken.
That’s when my judgement failed me.
I have never been in a romantic or sexual relationship, so I’m not talking boyfriends/girlfriends. I’m talking about friends, family.
My mum has been in a few relationships since she and my dad split. I’ve only met a couple of them personally, and each that I meat I was very comfortable around. I even tried to squeeze one to death with my little six year old arms wrapped around him.
My mum’s current partner though… or, ex now. I felt comfortable around him from the moment I met him. Maybe my instinct is becoming more and more dull as I get older, maybe by the time I actually turn twenty I won’t be able to tell a serial killer from a vet without their having a sign stuck to their heads.
Or maybe he was genuinely a good guy, who just got a little lost.
I don’t know how I missed it. How I could have mistaken him for a good guy when he has recently proved to be anything but.
Not everyone is as they seem.
We all make mistakes, and our judgement of others more often than not will prove to be the mistake we make the most.
Most relationships that people jump, or step into, will end in heartbreak. Most family relationships (in my experience at least) can be strained, ties can be broken, and families split apart due to a lapse in judgement.
We are all human, so we shouldn’t feel bad about these kind of mistakes. If you trust somebody with a friend or family, it is not on you if they turn out to be the wrong decision. It’s on them.
It can be very hard to avoid making these mistakes. To avoid making wrong judgements.
The best I can offer in advice, is to check out these articles on how to tell if someone is lying >>
https://www.viewzone.com/liar.html
https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/how-to-tell-someone-lying
https://www.wikihow.com/Detect-Lies
The first, in my opinion, is the most credible. Being able to tell if somebody is lying won't always work for being able to tell if a person is worth trusting, but it's the best I can do in ways of advice other than please. Just be careful.
Good luck to you all in your future endeavours.
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