Last Santa Visit

We in the United States of America need to get ready for change. This may be the last year that Santa will visit us! We all grew up knowing that Santa was spending a whole year preparing to deliver toys to boys and girls the whole world over. But it seems that now he will not visit the USA. All Those wonderful memories we had will not get passed on to our children.

Last Santa Visit

Why is that you ask? Because Santa is an alien. Sometime back, Canada granted Santa citizenship in their country. But to America, he is just an alien. And one who practices witchcraft, too. He flies with his reindeer, he travels up and down chimneys, and he carries a bag of toys that never empties. For a long, long time we have welcomed him each year, but this year may be his last. The reason is that In January we will have a new president, and he is going to increase the fence size between us and Mexico. When that is done, we can expect him to put another fence on our northern border. Will it be as beautiful as he keeps telling us?

Of course we all know that Santa has no problems with fences, no matter how high. He sails through the night high overhead with his reindeer. So fences should be no problem, right?

But let us not forget NORAD. For decades they have been tracking Santa's flights and alerting us to when he would be arriving at various places in the USA. But NORAD is the North American Aerospace Defense Command, a part of our defense network. And it will likely be tasked to pass the word when they detect him and he can expect to be shot down. So in order to stay alive to continue giving presents to the boys and girls of the rest of the world, Santa will have to skip coming here.

So, what about all the helpers he has here? Will they be able to take over his work in the USA? They are all part of his North Pole team, and as such are also aliens. If they are found here, they will at least be deported, but may also serve jail time as a warning to all aliens. So even now, way ahead of the transition, Santa's helpers are leaving the USA.

So it appears that the only way to keep the magic of Christmas going will be for parents to get their children gifts and pretend they are from Santa. There are those who will say that is good, that we were only perpetuating a welfare state by accepting gifts from an alien, so we should do it ourselves and lie to our children. How bad it seems that we are expected to lie to our children.

Maybe we are just getting around to the fence too late.


Most Helpful Girl

  • And I used to think Santa always came on a Harley! That shot my plans all to hell! I was going to wait up for Santa in my sexy nightie and hope Chibbs Telford would come down my chimney this year and ravish me!

    • Don't worry Chibbs will show up with Trump on the back. Its a twofer!

    • Can we say spitroast? Mmmmmm I'll be sure to save that nightie with the presidential DNA on it and show it off proudly unlike Monica did. Well considering the source of the DNA perhaps I don't blame her.

Most Helpful Guy

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