I've noticed that a lot of people, in general, want to make an impact on the world. Maybe they want to spread positivity or they want to shed some light on a widely overlooked topic. But a lot of these people who want to sway the people around them or represent a common cause lack the self-awareness or empathy needed to truly make a connection. I can only talk from my POV but I do think there are some commonalities that we all share and that even I still need to work at.
5 internal habits that can help you grasp your external environment:
1. Know your cause and know your reasoning:
I've seen so many instances where people would be die-hard supporters of a cause and when I went to ask them what about the cause resonated with them, it was like they opened their mouth and a bunch of propaganda spilled out. I'm talking, catch phrases, biased statistics, the same phrases verbatim as a dozen other fanatics etc.
If you open your mouth and someone else's words, feelings, and experiences flow out then you have truly lost yourself. It's one thing to sympathize with a struggle and to apply your own emotions and point of view to the situation, it's another thing to see an issue and then try and replace your reality with a tragic fabrication.
2. Know your limits and set your standards:
I think that a lot of people intentionally lower their standards due to the misguided idea that being less assertive or being open to more things makes them more relatable/approachable.
If you're no comfortable with something then don't do it, If you aren't happy in a situation then take strides to change that. Tbh, I can't stand wishy-washy people. It's like they're trying to cling onto everything and grasping nothing. If you can't agree with yourself then why should anyone take you seriously? Get to know yourself. Learn your passions. Learn your limits. Make your peace with your flaws. And make no apologies to the world for holding your own.
3. Accept the reality:
Life sucks lol. I truly believe that when left to its own devices life will give you hell. Maybe someone who sucks at your job gets a lot more acclaim than you, meanwhile, you're stuck picking up their slack. Maybe you're not in a healthy relationship and if he's been this toxic for the last 20+ years, he's going to need more than a stern warning or an umpteenth chance to change. Maybe, your dog really did just pass :( . Maybe you're the common denominator in your long list of failed friendships/relationships. That's the reality, but it doesn't have to be the end.
4. Don't relinquish your happiness to life:
Just because life sucks doesn't mean you can't give as good as you get. If you know your cause, have your standards, and have faced your reality head on then you already know where you're coming from. That's the beauty of knowing, the battle is already halfway through. Now, you need to figure out what you want and map out how you aim to get there. I think that a lot of people forget that just because life has you down doesn't mean that you're out of options.
Example: If you have to stick through a tough situation for the next year, ask yourself this. What will this year be worth in terms of opportunities at the end, opportunities throughout and how much wiggle room do I have in order to maintain my composure throughout.
Any situation will vary but my point is that long term planning may not be easy or pleasant but if you know where you are and where you're going, things start to become clear and life is easier to understand (if not completely manage).
5. Be gracious:
You can't conquer life on your own. The people you surround yourself with make all the difference. And if I know nothing else I do know this, You attract what you put out into the world. If you dress provocatively, you'll get lewd stares and presumptuous advances. If you show up to a job interview hung over and wearing sweats.. don't expect a follow up. And in my personal experience I've met people who were spoiling for a fight (who didn't even know me), and when I stuck to my positivity and compassion, they actually left our encounter feeling happy and as a result they've had my back ever since (even though we aren't even close). And of course there will always be that person who wants company in their misery but why join them? If you want to be happy, then be happy. A positive attitude is the fastest way to stumble upon a silver lining.
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