How To Start Making Positive Changes In Your Life

How To Start Making Positive Changes In Your Life

A few months ago I asked a question on here asking "how do you make yourself want something?" and I received a lot of great answers so I've decided to write this take to help sum up what people said and some of the things I found online.

Get real with yourself

If you’ve been stuck in trying to resolve problems with finances, health, relationships, career or other areas, seek tough love. Ask for honest feedback from those you love but be prepared to truly hear it and separate the message from the messenger. Assure the person, you will not get mad at them and you need to hear the truth... then don’t get mad when you hear it!

This will really help you figure out the changes you need to make before you reach your breaking point and bad things start happening. Maybe you're too bossy or lash out at your friends and/or family or you spend too much and it's putting unnecessary pressure on your partner to pay the bills. It's best to sort these things out before it hits the fan. (This doesn't mean you can't selvage situations once you do reach breaking point or things explode!)

Build a support network

People you spend time with affect your habits, whether good or bad. So make sure you are surrounded by people who will support you and talk to them about the changes you're going to make.

Figure out what motivates you

Some motivators are:

Achievements: Our need to achieve derives from our desire for significant accomplishment, e.g., mastering a skill, gaining more control, or achieving a high standard in certain activities in our lives.

The higher our need to achieve, the more difficult tasks we’ll undertake. Over-achievers will always raise the bar trying to better themselves with each accomplishment while people who regard themselves as non-achievers will set the bar low to achieve without risking failure.

Affiliation: We all have a need for affiliation; the need to belong to a group we can affiliate ourselves with and create a sense of involvement. If you’re motivated by affiliation, you’re often friendly and work best when you feel appreciated in a work environment that gives you an opportunity for interaction.

We often want to be affiliated with the “right people” and we want the outside world to hold us in high regard due to our affiliation with said group. Combined with the fact that we want to be a centre piece in that group wielding authority and influence over its members, it is worth the effort. You don’t have to lead that group but you can definitely do what you can to strive to reach that position.

Power: If your need for affiliation is derived mostly from a need to be influential, then you’re probably motivated by power, not affiliation.

You feel a strong need to lead and your ideas to be recognised. You are driven by raising your personal status and are concerned about things like prestige. If this is all true, then you’re definitely motivated by power. There are two kinds of power, social and personal.

On the social level, if you’ll get more engaged in problem solving and decision making, you’ll be able to satisfy and develop your motivation because it’ll gives you influence over what you do and over your work environment.

On the personal level, if you’ll develop your mind and body, and you’ll ultimately be able to sway people to adopt your perspective, your need for power on the personal level will be satisfied.

(I have written a myTake on "how to keep yourself motivated", feel free to read it if you would like tips on staying motivated)

Take baby steps

It's easier to make lasting change if you make baby steps. If your goal is to start going for a 10 km run once a week, start by going for a 2 km walk, then try to jog, then run the distance; and gradually add 1 - 2 kms each month or so.

Focus on avoiding loss

If focusing on a goal doesn’t work, don’t be surprised. Humans are more motivated to avoid loss than to attain gain. In other words, envisioning a life plagued with heart disease or an early death is a more powerful way to creating healthy eating habits than picturing yourself looking hot in a swimsuit.


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RedRobin is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Been mindful of what you are doing right now, compared with what you wanted to be doing if everything was possible.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Great advice and great tips.

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  • Great Take and excellent advices, as always ;)

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  • "Build a support network"

    *laughs intenrally*

    That won't be happening any time soon.

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  • These steps have worked for me when it comes to school. But I don't know how it would in the things i'm struggling with right now.

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  • Well, I think you can ask yourself what you are good at. find out at least 5 positive things. Then master them. Be stronger.

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  • Sometimes it's necessary when my wife isn't acting right, refusing to keep the house cleaning and have a meal prepared for when I come home from work.
    I tried to discuss her disrespectful behavior but she flew into a rage and attacked me so I grabbed her and put her across my knee hitched up her skirt pulled down her panties and with the palm of my hand spanked her bottom as hard as I could for 10 minutes. Her ass was red raw and she couldn’t sit down for a week. She ran home to her parents who were discusted by her behaviour and her father threatened to take his belt to her. After a week she realised how wrong she had been andrawn apologised, we had amazing make up sex. Ever since she's been as good as gold putting maximum effort into our marriage and is now pregnant. It was all just a classic shit test to test my limits and of course if I hadn't disciplined her she would not respect me

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