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58Opinion
You're very good and putting all the details in there while explaining the situation... are you a professional writer? As a dude that's dealt with dangerous people or ended up in situations where I need to get a guy to leave a woman alone, I totally relate to that sense of danger and the fears you had on a deep and personal level.
I reduce dudes like this to what I call the "salesman type." Some can be hostile, most are pushy, they guilt trip, manipulate, and so on but they all have one thing in common, they want something. Actual salesman (where the product doesn't sell itself), panhandlers, gold diggers, unwanted advancers, to psychopaths... all belong to the same category to me, salesman types. From what you described it sounded like textbook PUA bullshit, and stories like yours are great examples of why so many people have dropped certain courtesies (like acknowledging their existence) simply so we don't have to deal with their bullshit (the sales pitching).
Thanks, I considered becoming an author or journalist a few years back, and when I was 12 I wrote a novel that was around 50 pages. So writing has always been close to my heart.
And yeah, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I find it ridiculous that some men are complaining about women not doing enough to protect themselves. But when we ”retaliate” by flat out ignoring every stranger that comes up to us, suddenly we’re stuck up bitches who hate men. Seems like no matter what we do and how we handle unwanted attention, we’re doing it wrong.
Impressive amount of work from a 12 year old, geez... I was just playing hockey and looking at nudie mags at that age. If you have any works of art like this online drop me a link for sure.
Yeah, I feel "the salesman types" can and often do, focus on getting what they want to the point of forgetting we're supposed to be autonomous beings with our own wills, rights, and desires. Basically they view us like cattle, and we simply need to be herded, convinced, tricked, guilt tripped, coerced, or worse with a list that can go on forever. The Dalia Dippolito's of this world, unfortunately, may get 3 trials while obvious innocents out there will be getting the shaft.
I would just have said I don't know where X is and keep walking, call a cab and mean while, call someone to talk so he knows a person is aware of my situation.
I've been followed by guys since i was a kid. i never interact not my problem if they want to talk. he should know that you're in a precarious position regardless of what he thinks his intentions are.
planning to not go out is bullshit, women should not be held captive bc someone might commit a crime.
I especially agree with your last sentence, and yeah, now I know not to make any sort of contact. Unfortunately I acted on pure instinct since I don’t go out late very often, and during the day I’m used to answering questions.
Its hard being a woman. I try to be nice and polite to everyone, but sometimes my intentions become misconstrued. If you blatantly tell a man you're not interested, then you're viewed as a bitch. If you engage in conversation, then clearly you want to fuck. Its as if there's no middle ground. I usually go for the boyfriend line as well, but sometimes that doesn't work either. Things would be simpler if people were better at picking up signals and reading body language.
This. Whatever women do, it seems like we’re always in the wrong.
Uggh, how awful. So glad you’re alright. Yes, getting in the phone would have been good but I hope you also learned instead of to not talk to strangers while walking home in the middle of the night but to not walk home alone in the middle of the night. call a cab/UBER.
Well written mytake💟
Thanks! Yeah, I was naive to think nothing would happen on my short walk home. After talking about this with my mom, she explained how she had been attacked 5 minutes away from her home. So you can never be too safe.
so scary. The world is full of predators
Yup! There are creeps out there that do this way too often.
You're right - they probably forget the women they bother in 2 seconds, but we learn from it and, hopefully, ignore them completely next time!
"My safety is worth more than a stranger’s ego." - so true...
I really hate the fact that people constantly say crap like "You shouldn't be walking alone at night, you put yourself in that situation".
Like what the fuck? How did the girl put herself in that situation? She was merely returning home. She was trying to stop the conversation and the guy was being a pest. She wasn't giving him the green light.
People should feel safe all the time. I've been harassed by men during daytime and I wasn't even wearing anything "promiscuous".
As for the guy, he entered your own zone without even asking your permission and people here are blaming you? What the fuck is wrong with the way some men are raised? I mean, I knew that misogyny was strong in GaG, but I wasn't expecting it to be that shitty.
I am sorry you have been through that. I've been through something quite similar to what you described while I was on the subway. I felt so scared and helpless.
Wow.. such a heavy story. First off: whatever some people say about should have, could have, would have... you've got no idea how you'd react in a certain situation, so ssh. I actually think you handled it quite well. The guy is 100% to blame here. It didn't escalate so I'd say you made the right decissions in that moment.
Let's be honest, who doesn't think about walking home late at night when you live so close by.
Thank you so much ❤️ reading some of these opinions is exhausting.
Okay NEVER.. EVER go home alone again unless you own a car and can simply drive home. Always ALWAYS take someone with you from that party or whatever event you're visitng. A woman can't be walking home alone. Im glad you're save, but Im also mad at you for being so stupid and careless of walking home alone. And I dont even know you! But I have a sister! And god knows what I'd do if someone would even try to touch a strain of her hair! He doesn't even have to touch it. He just needs to try and this arm is gone. NEVER go home alone again unless you own a car. This makes me so worried about my sister now. I will show her this text of yours and warn her.
To be fair I figured I would just quickly walk home in less than 10 minutes. If you’re angry, redirect you anger towards the men who behave like that instead. I’m sick of people who get mad at the victims.
Even if its 1 minute.
Mad? Im mad at the victim but I will kill the harrasser.
wanna switch places with him?
That's why I believe that every girl, if out at night, should carry some time of self-defense mechanism. Pepper spray, pocket knife, fuck that get into some self-defense classes because I'm pretty sure that U did not think that this would happen, its good to always be prepared for good and all bad. I am sorry this had to happen though.
I’m always aware that something might happen but this time I naively thought that he wasn’t going to follow me all the way home. Now I know to ignore every single man that walks up to me at night, regardless of what they’re saying or asking. I’m considering getting a pocket knife just in case. Thanks ❤️
pepper spray girl, it'll blind eye him for a couple seconds, giving you some time to dip outta there, and if I was you I would have kept walking somewhere else, not to my home, that's information I wouldn't want him to have.
Such guys are mostly cowards, don't worry, just yelling at them can repel them from hitting on you. Compared to creepy guys, aggressive guys are much bigger problem, that's why I practice martial arts.
I just didn’t know if the guy was going to turn out to be aggressive, so I figured it would be smarter to play it safe.
Good thinking, always be cautious, some people are not easy to read.
That was a awesome take! No wonder you're editor.
If you're checking comments before reading the take, do read it. And if you are expecting something sexual, go away pervert.
Thank you :)
Comments are quite disappointing. How do you stand them @lumos?
I comfort myself with the thought that some of them are just trolling, while others are just truly socially inept and too stupid for their own good.
Love this post! Had this happened to you on a busy day with people around then that may have been different, but people need to realize that when you are walking alone at night, even innocent conversation can alarm someone who is already on high alert. Then, especially don't follow that person home making bizarre remarks about how you won't attack them. sheesh glad you are ok!
Thank you <3
😂😂😂. I know exactly the kind of guy you ran into.
I know you were pretty scared, but he was completely harmless. I'm sure this is a guy who has a pick-up artist program on his computer, and that he was put soing exercises that night. Practicing approaching bar girls.
Most likely, he is doing this precisely because he is perpetually single. And most likely always has been.
I bet he's just an ordinary guy IRL, but forces himself to talk to pretty girls at or near bars because when else does he get the chance to do that?
Really funny take though. I'm just grinning and giggling about it. 😂😂😂😂
*practicing exercises
Exhibit A: https://youtu.be/1Ep6IqnUUok
Next time, ring at the first house you see and call 911 from there.
If 911 seems too much, call a friend with a car or a taxi.
My dad has told me that I can call him at any time and he’ll be there within 10 :) he’ll fuck up anyone who tries to come near me.
He won't be hick enough. Make noise ring one door bell whilst calling 911 and ringing another shouting you need help someone is attacking me.
That would wake me up in the dead of night and I'd call 911 at once. I know where I love where as you may not know where you are and it is hard to track cell phones for the operators.
An Uber will be there quickly so that can be a good approach too. Act cool with the press of a button have a ride.
@sjoes006 uber is banned in my country. Cabs are expensive. Bystanders rarely step in. Not sure if 911 would be relevant to call depending on the severity of the situation. My dad would probably arrive faster than the police anyway.
Glad to hear they are banned. I do not like Uberbit I use it as a verb like we do with Google. In the US we have many alternates to Uber.
But I can share with you that pre-Uber I always knew the price of a taxi from downtown to my apt before leasing. Not that I went out every night but I don't drink and drive and I won't ride with randos or let friends drink and drive.
We have pedicabs and other services. But yes, like you if it was close enough and I was sober enough I'd walk 16 blocks home on a nice night. But the same blocks.
Stores to jump into and predictability. Only a block was nonbar district of the walk.
I don't know your young. At your age I couldn't live a cheap cab from night life but I usually stayed with a girlfriend and split the fare.
Can you carry Mace or pepper spray?
My older colleagues always wanted me to carry mace and even gave me some.
I was always taught my best defense was to be a sprinter and pack a punch to the kidney.
Most American men who are creepers can't run fast. But then you always have the Christian Bale "American Psycho" stuck in your head.
But that makes one more scared to ever get in a car or their home than it does to encounter him on the street.
In your case it sounds like he was getting off on holding power over you but one can never be to safe.
I learned how to really run not for weight loss but a chance. A chance to outrun a guy chasing me. I did marathons then speed training up hills to build thhe quick fire fibers.
I can't outrun many male athletes but I can outrun most American males.
I can punch and run. But a gun won't protect me. It will be taken from me before I can use it or my aim is off or maybe I shoot an innocent person.
i would have pretended like someone was texting me and say you him "hey my friend just passed out I gotta go" I would run the opposite direction back to the place I came from. When I got there I would call someone or get someone from the party to walk me home while alerting them of the matter. If I had to I'll call the police and see can they give me a lift for my safety.
Super creepy! Good thinking to keep it from escalating and becoming a Criminal Minds episode situation!
Thanks!
feels good talking about it hmm. we can't help u in any way but sympathize.
those kind of people are a pain in the ass for humanity, such ego I know those kinds so if I were you I'dd carry a knife or something to defend my weak female body.
things that could turn this guy off:
-I am a shemale
-I have a boyfriend (you said it but could've said earlier)
option often used by girls:
-give facebook or fake number (he is familiar with it haha)
ehm yea lots of text I don't know how I could read this long
I am just glad that you are safe. I know you are in another country, but this story ends the wrong way all to often in America.
Sorry to hear about your experience it must be really scary for you to be in a situation like this it would be great to learn how to defend yourself why not take some self defense classes like martial arts it's really benifitial for both men and women to know how to defend themselves from attackers. Knowing how to defend yourself is very important because if ever in a dangerous position where life is at risk knowing self defense can mean a difference between staying alive and being hurt or worse things that can happen.
I ignore women on the street, the world think men are all rapist anyways so I just out my head phones on and I escape from reality into techno land. I don't even say hi anymore, I've had people get angry at me for letting the door slam them in the face or ignoring people asking me for directions on the road I just lie and say I'm new here.
I've walked by kids alone st the park and women being beaten and I just keep wslking. I've come to be unconcerned for anyone who I don't personally know. If someone was being hurt or beaten in the street I wouldn't help honestly, it's not my problem, why get involved.
Why would I get down voted, I figured women would be glad I'm finding my own business on the streets. Anyways u can't please everyone I guess.
What ur saying is true. I agree with it. But a person getting beat on the street? Come on man.