Well, hello everybody.
It's me again.
Yesterday I came face-to-face with one of the hardest situations of my entire life. My guy-best-friend of 13 years confessed that he has feelings on me. When he told me that, I literally felt like I just fall one million levels and landed on the hardest floor.
I mean I never even thought about him like that, I just started dating a new guy like 2 days ago and when I thought that everything was going fine....BOOM, he decided to do that. I don't blame him for telling me but I mean....C'mon you know how awkward and destructive that can be for a friendship, especially....When it's one-sided.
I am not an expert in this situation, no one is. But because it has happened to me before (with less important people, but still equally awkward) this is my advice on how to deal with this situation.
What To Do When A Friend Has A Crush On You
1. Don't freak out.
I know it's hard but you must stay calm. You must let them finish what they are saying (even if you don't like it, at all), actually listen to them and try to not faint, scream or make weird faces. It's already hard for them to admit it to themselves and even harder to confess it to you, don't make it even harder with your reaction.
.
.
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Of course that doesn't mean you should just ignore the situation. You have to deal with it like a mature person. And mature doesn't mean strange faces neither pretend like you didn't hear what you just heard.
2. Don't lead them on.
Most of the time we aren’t clear about things because we want to be nice (especially with a person we know) but It’s not fair to give someone false hope. If you know you’re not interested, you must never allow anything physical or sexual happen between you two. Never EVER let them believe for one second that there is hope.
I get it, it's nice when someone has a crush on you, but DO NOT let the fact that you are flattered get in your head and take control. You know that he/she likes you and you don't like him/her back, you are the responsible if you react in a way that could give your friend the wrong idea. So you must be really really really careful.
3. Be honest, nice, & clear.
Being let down 'gently' is equally as hurtful as being rejected. The challenge is ever bigger when it’s someone you love like your friend or even worst your best friend. That doesn't mean that you have to over-the-top-sugar-coat it though. Many times if we aren't clear enough people tend to hear what they want to hear, especially if they are in love. It’s necessary to let your friend know you don’t have any romantic feelings for them, but it’s just as important to be nice and sweet about it. After all you do want them in your life after this incident is over, you want them to remember this situation as something that finished in good terms.
4. Understand that things will never be exactly the same, at least not for a very long time.
This is the truth that no one wants to accept, but things will not be the same after that, no matter how well you handle the situation. Of course if you take care of it 'the right' way it will have a better impact on him/her but still, a lot of time will be needed in order for them to get over you and feel close enough again so you can rebuild your friendship. You have to accept that they'll need space and time away from you. Even if it hurts you have to leave them alone in order to save your friendship.
-END
AngelicSin
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