My sister's boyfriend tried to kiss me and have relations with me?

[Anonymous]

My sister and her boyfriend had fought and he had stayed home and she left (at the moment I was staying with them) it was the night of a ufc fight and we had friends over everyone got drunk and the guy I liked was there too and we kissed and I was happy but after that when I was in bed he tried to kiss me and started touching me but I stoped it and now I don't know what to do evrytime I see my sister I want to cry cause I feel so guilty and her boyfriend says he feels sorry but doesn't regret it. I feel so bad and I already deal with depression so dealing with this is so difficult I want to tell her but I feel like she'll hate me and I don't want that what do I do? He's 27 and I'm 17 I think that's how old he is. I didn't do anything with him and I stopped him and told him no. nothing happened but the action itself is wrong. What do I do help me please? I currently like someone else and want nothing to do with him. I moved out the next day. What do I do? Thank you.

[KingSquatch]

If she cares about you like she should, she shouldn't get mad if you tell her the truth. Plus if you were drunk, and even if you weren't drunk, he tried to take advantnge of you and that's wrong on so many levels and not your fault at all. I would definitely stay away from this guy if he says he doesn't regret it, because he would probably try to again if the oppurtunity presented itself and you definitely made the right decision by moving out.

[Asker]

Thank you. He tells me he doesn't regret it and that he likes me and he wishes he met me before and I tell him to stop that I don't wanna know those things. I feel so lost and scared and guilty. I keep saying guilt cause I feel like I went wrong somewhere.

[KingSquatch]

You didn't go wrong anywhere. This guy made those decisions not you. If he's ten years older than you and he's obsessed with you like this, he's a pedophile. If telling your sister doesn't help ease your guilt or if something else happens and you don't think you can handle anymore, I would see a therapist. Im not saying you NEED one, but they do help. I know most people think only crazy people see therapists, but I was borderline depressed and I was afraid if I didn't seek help I would get worse. After many arguments with my mother I finally went to one and it's the best decision I've ever made. Sure I still have MANY problems, but in the long run I've realized a lot of good things about myself that have made me just a smidge happier than I used to be. If you don't want to see a therapist, but you still need to talk to somebody, just shoot me a message.

[Asker]

Okay thank you a lot

[kikiwyse]

You need to tell your sister, yes you stopped it and left, but not telling her is wrong. I don't know what your relationship is likewise your sister, but even if she's mad and blames you first shell be glad you were honest. As her sister you have to watch out for her and warn her about guys like that. You did everything right in that situation until you chose to stay silent about it.

[Asker]

She has a short fuse. And I know I was wrong in not telling her. I'm just so scared she'll hate me. I feel so guilty, even if I made no moves to gesture such thing I feel bad. So bad. This isn't suppose to happen but why did it happen? I don't understand.

[kikiwyse]

I completely understand, and you definitely made the right decision in moving out. But this kind if guy will try again if he feels like he gets a chance, and if he'd try with her sister then there's nothing stopping him from trying with anything else that walks. I'm not saying your guilt will go away with telling her, but you didn't do anything and that guilt probably comes from keeping it a secret. If she has a short fuse she might give you the cold shoulder for a while, but your family, she won't hate you. Things like this always have a way of coming out in the end so the longer you wait the shorter that fuse will be when she finally does find out. And I'd be much angrier if I were her and I found out from someone else.

[Asker]

I do feel guilty for hiding it. I mean I act like everything is okay and I don't know but thank you

[kikiwyse]

No problem, good luck with your sister, however you decide to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Tell her. but before telling her let her know it's serious & you want her to be calm and understand yoy had no fault and did not lead anything or give hints.

[Opinion Owner]

You*

[Asker]

This is really helpful thank you.

[Opinion Owner]

Hope it goes smoothly on your side!

[Adenn]

You need to tell your sister, she will be upset but it will be at her boyfriend, at least it should be. You shouldn't hide stuff like that from her. Would you want a guy like that marrying her? Talk to friends or family members or seek professional help about your depression. Also, if you are depressed, it is best to stay away from alcohol as it is a depressant and can make it worse.

[Asker]

No you're right I should tell her I wouldn't want someone like that with her but when is the right time for this sort of talk? How do I go about this?

[Adenn]

Sorry I have been away for a while... anyway, the sooner the better, the more time that goes on the worse I think it will be. Just sit her down and talk to her or take her to get coffee (insert drink of choice here) or ice cream, or chocolate. You know your sister best, you should know how to best approach her without her blowing up.