He gets mad if I don't answer the phone?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend gets mad if I don't answer the phone, when I call back he won't pick up. Its like my punishment for not answering. Well its ok if he doesn't because there is an explanation for it. My explanations aren't good enough. What up with that?

[Panopticus]

This behaviour seems downright imature, you deserve respect as a person in your own right, not to be treated as a subject for punishment. You say he is your boyfriend at the moment, well if this is the way you are treated at this stage how would you be treated if it were a stage closer? Would the punishment be silent periods if you behaved out of the profile he sets for you?

Could the punishment make a more serious change if you were living together? I don't think I need elaborate ...

The childish way he behaves speaks volumes to me and the word insecurity occurs to me as well as another answerer - I feel there is one thing to do, move on. From what you reveal to us I think you deserve better and he does not deserve you at all.

[Terdog]

It's a control thing - jedi mind trick he is trying to play on you. Yes, childish to say the least. Don't buy into it. The best thing you should do is just act normally like you are returning his call. If he doesn't call back, oh well. If he gets mad that you didn't pick up, just say you were busy and that he should leave a message and you will get back to him. Tell him to grow up.

[journaliststar73]

I have been dealing with this for a long time. It's ok if he doesn't answer for hours or check his messages or return my call for days but God forbid I don't answer his call when he finally does call. Then he gaslights me.

[sexycupid]

He's just trying to show you that no matter what he is ALWAYS going to be right and you are always going to be wrong. You really shouldn't put up with that sort of behavior.

[OrallyFixated]

Sounds controlling to me. Let him know you won't put up with it now before it gets worse.

[Brooke101]

I agree. I mean... that's kind of ridiculous. You're a grown woman; you have a life, and your phone isn't permanently attached to your hand. Tell him to get over it...

[OlderAndWiser]

It is who he is. It's one more bit of information to consider when you are deciding whether he is The One. Accept him as he is or reject him, but don't expect to change him!

[Anonnnn909]

Depends on the context

If you tell him you're going to a party and that you'll be home by 11pm, and he waits up for you... but you ignore his calls beyond that point and stumble in wasted at 4am well... Questionable for sure.

If you didn't pick up the phone because you're at your job working or whatever, totally different story right.

[jshm2]

Gaslighting and manipulative tactics, is what's up.

He's making one rule for you, and another for him. Ditch his yellow ass, and move on.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Sounds like you need to talk to him about his behavior or break up. He's only going to get worse in other areas if you move in together.

[Ta2Pro4U]

Sounds like he is terribly immature in that regard. Makes me wonder how else he is lagging behind on evolving.

[Anonymous]

I have the same issue. There have been times when I have called him and he don't answer but its ok but its like ww3 or I'm too busy

[maribaby510]

i believe this is called insecurity!

[Softlife808]

Lady grow up