Do you have any good pooping stories?

[Anonymous]

[Tapster]

So it's not me that pooped but about a pooping situation..
My boyfriend told me about a Blumpkin, a blumpkin is where the guy poops and while he poops the other person give a blow job while the other is sitting and pooping,

Anyway, after he told me what it was, randomly one day he was pooping and asked me would I give him a blumpkin and I was like "heck, why not" so I did and right when I put my mouth on his dick he started pooping and PEEed at the same time! (Mind you that I didn't know he was going to pee! and apparently neither did he! Cause I guess you don't really notice those things you know?) I choked and spit it out!

Never again will I ever do a blumpkin! At least I tried lmao

[biguyct]

lol good to give the old college try lol

[ChocolateIceCream]

Slow clap.

[skeptic007]

now that's a story lol funny

[Anonymous]

Oh i have a good one. I was at school and i really liked this guy. I was following him everywhere sort of stalking but in a good way. But he never turned to look at me. He was more interested in other girls, ignoring me completely. Never returned my looks, never bothered to say hi. That broke my heart but i couldn't stop loving him. And then she appeared, I hated her because he liked her so much. And oh boy girls can do some bad things when they hate other girls. I had to make her look stupid so he wouldn't like her anymore. I though for long, what can i do to make her look like an idiot. And then i had this idea which of course i regret now. I am actually embarrassed. So what i did was...

[Opinion Owner]

oops just a second... pooping story you said? oh i dont have any, i read the title wrong :D

[ChocolateIceCream]

THA FUCK? Finish that story ho I'm already invested.

[Matt1994]

She did a shit in her pencil case. The end.

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

Yesterday I found out that the plastic box my roommate keeps near the toilet is for putting her feet up to "give her colon a better angle to poo". I laugh every time I see it now.

[Applefan1]

It may sound funny but she is actually correct. Toilets are designed wrong, when you sit on them a bone in your body squezzes it shut inside your body making it harder to poop. When you make a squatting position it opens it up inside your body and is much easier to go. The natural position for humans to poop is in a squatting position. Sorry if you find that gross.

[Applefan1]

:) :)

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

@Applefan1 Yeah I actually did know that, I've taken some Classics courses (ancient greeks) and we actually learned that in class... I've also tried squatting (camping) and it feels terrible and unnatural. But I think it's funny my roommate keeps a box near the toilet just for that. I call it her "poo box" now.

I have the sense of humour of a 10 year old boy. So no, I'm not grossed out :)

[SaltyPotato]

I'll have you know; that you both are in fact wrong. The correct position for dropping a hot mixtape is the reverse-kanga. Educate yourselves sheeple.

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

@SaltyPotato I had to google that. That's bizarre

[SaltyPotato]

Don't knock it 'till you've tried it

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

@SaltyPotato apparently it's used as revenge and is a prank. If I pranked my roommates I'd be pranking myself too, so I think I'll just knock it.

[ChocolateIceCream]

This girl that was working for me bet me 100 bucks that she could shit green so I took the bet. She showed up to work the next day I made her strip down and take her shoes off so she couldn't bring a fake in with her and gave her a plastic bin. She came out with a green turd and I felt the bottom of the bin and it was warm and then I paid her 100 bucks. Even though the more I think about it the more I think she cheated somehow I wasn't going to taste it lol.

[AhGojira]

One time I was body boarding in the Atlantic ocean and apparently a mermaid cast a magic spell on me, because my stomachache acted up and I turned into a seagull. I road the next wave in, got out of the ocean, ran up the board walk and shot liquid white diarrhea all over a tree. That was the one and only time I've have white diarrhea... It was magical.

[Anonymous]

You ever had like a big giant but smoothly passed poop and you just feel so relieved and like, blissfully empty and light? I'm not talking an overly soft poop but a nice firm but not too firm poop like you got plenty of good fiber and minerals.

Man that is so nice.

[Anonymous]

It ain't a story but it's nothing anyone ever wants to xperience

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIyPkSwtQLw

[Asker]

lol I saw that a long time ago, it is a foreign prank show.

[Anonymous]

One time when I was 3 or so I ate an entire pack of bubble gum. Yea... gum takes 7 years to digest is a complete lie.

[Asker]

lol yep that is an urban legend that has been around forever.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol had to find that out the hard way

[Catsforlife123]

I was like 5 years old and I was being bad. My mom was trying to spank me so I ran and hid. Well, that was the worst time to have to poop, and I pooped on my self. Lol I was hiding under a kitchen table too

[Song1738]

I was playing outside one time when I was like 4 years old with my mom and I had to poop and I was too lazy to go inside so went in our backyard and pooped and covered it with leaves. And no no one saw me I lived in the country then.

[ArchDruidMordred]

Once upon a time, my body housed a log. Now the world is a better place. The end.

[BelleGirl21]

So one poop walked into a bar...😕

[ted22]

LMFAO!!!

[palek]

Funny! ; - )

[biguyct]

no shit

[Asker]

That was half assed. lol

[palek]

All pooping stories are good pooping stories.

[BelleGirl21]

Some are quicker than others but in the end they all stink. Horrible plotlines...

[palek]

I don't know about that, Night of the Living Steamers was a real page-turner!

[BelleGirl21]

Was that a Stephen king?

[palek]

@BelleGirl21 yes, in fact it was. After The Shining, he wrote The Pooping, which was quickly followed by Night of the Living Steamers.

[BelleGirl21]

All classics 😉

[palek]

@BelleGirl21 he's my favorite author next to Edgar Allen Poo.

[BelleGirl21]

🙌🙌🙌I am so impressed lol

[palek]

Ha! ; - )

[badadvice101]

I'm always very entertained on this website :)

[rgb008]

omg this website.

[Anonymous]

A good what story? 😶

[Opinion Owner]

No, seriously. What the heck is a "pooping story"?

[Asker]

There are some examples now.

[Opinion Owner]

I see no humor in it...

[RasmusAiken]

OMG G@G has plunged to a new low.