Do you find it weird when attractive people are insecure?

[archiz]

[Kaazsz]

It's pretty strange I think. I mean if a girl is hot as fuck, I would think her confidence is sky high. But then again some super hot girls are so hot that no guys hit on them because men fear beautiful women, or at least fear rejection. So it's always weird to hear about a beautiful girl asking if she's ugly cuz no guys ever talk to her lol.

As far as guys go, it's not surprising. You can be a hot guy, but if your life never afforded you the opportunity to learn how to act around women, he might think he's a hideous monstronsity. In reality he just has a lack of social skills and women care more about social skills and confidence than looks.

[redeyemindtricks]

It's not "more about X than Y" — it's about whether "X" and "Y" actually fit together.

If a boy looks ilke an action hero, then, what would YOU (... not just women) expect this boy to act like, most of the time?
... Right.
And if this boy were terminally shy or awkward, that'd just be SUPER WEIRD. The pieces wouldn't fit together. The whole boy would seem ilke a giant fraud. **Creepy**. (As women, we wouldn't feel safe around someone like that — because we'd suspect that we don't know the REAL "him" AT ALL... hence the "creep-out" reaction. After all, no woman ever got raped, maimed, or murdered by being TOO easily creeped out, right? Just keep that in mind.)

It's all about how the WHOLE PICTURE fits together.
If you had a cute, boyish dude with awkward-nerd charm, then, it would be A Very Bad Thing™ for him to have TOO MUCH confidence or poise, or to be TOO forward or aggressive or just about anything else we'd expect from the action-hero boy. For the same reasons as above.

[Kaazsz]

@redeyemindtricks Welp, I know you are really good at giving great responses so I have to ask you some more questions because I have no idea wtf you're talking about lol. I get the feeling it's one of those female/male disconnect things. I just don't understand your perspective still after reading your comment like 50 times lol.

Can you talk more about things fitting together? What would be some normal combinations? Like an attractive one vs an unattractive one?

[Kaazsz]

@redeyemindtricks Let me try and relate though! lol. So growing up I had a fucked up life. Without going into detail, just imagine I was locked in a room for the first 20 years and that's how it all resulted lol. Anyways, 15 or so years later I'm finding out as a teenager I was super cute. Tons of girls had crushes on me. Hell, every girlfriend I ever had in my life approached me. But I was so fucked in the head from being ostracized that it never increased my confidence which is just stupid lol. Looking back at all my interactions with women I see that I was attractive, but I was extremely shy, awkward as fuck. I had really bad social anxiety and I thought I was a hideous monstrosity. Girls would talk to me for like 5 seconds and run away. So I'm guessing this is kind of what you're talking about. A good looking guy who is weird or shy as fuck instantly becomes a person who doesn't have those balanced things that fit together and it just creeps women out?

[TripleAce]

There is a certain category of people that are attractive and insecure... for them - the more attractive they are the more insecure they get...

why? - well when you have something that is valued you are constantly afraid for it to become unvalued by someone... leads to an obsession... almost like how a rich guy making money can't stop thinking of how he never wants to lose it and be poor again lol...

[archiz]

Good point

[didigo182]

"the more attractive they are the more insecure they get..." - Iy's a good point but not but is not applicable at all. I've met very self confident attractive people who when they heard negative comments, did not care, because most people thought they were attractive.

[Lavinnykins]

Everyone has a different opinion of what is 'attractive' to what isn't; whilst some find George Clooney a piece of hot stuff, someone else may prefer Tom Hanks... Then there's another side to this; is arrogance attractive? More often than you'd think, people you consider attractive, won't find themselves attractive and that is what makes them insecure... No amount of appreciation for their appearance on your part, can completely 'fix' their insecurities... We all have our moments of feeling 'attractive' whether it's on a good hair day or when you put on a new outfit. It's subjective if you're otherwise insecure about your appearance.

[Miyumi]

Ofcourse not. Being considered attractive by 9/10 people and being insecure about yourself are two different things. Attractive isn't a universal good. It's different for everyone. Being insecure has no direct link to that. Being insecure has something to do with how you view yourself. The whole world can find that you're attractive, but if you don't feel that way that isn't weird. We judge ourselves harder 'cause we want to improve ourselves and we see ourselves everyday, 24/7. It's far from weird to me, I'd say it's even more normal than not being insecure about anything about yourself.

[BrittBratt2416]

Yes, especially when its women look like this:
www.glitzyworld.com/.../...-HD-Beautiful-Hairs.jpg
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images
Like seriously, you're the type of woman most men want or daydream about. But because they're to scared and think you're untouchable, they will settle for women they think are safer/easier to get. So chill you're at the top of dating chain

[archiz]

You 're talking about me or the model? 😂
Cause I have nthng to dinwith that model lmfao

[BrittBratt2416]

No im just talking about insecure beautiful women in general who feel insecure.

[archiz]

Okii👍
The use of "you" confused me

[BrittBratt2416]

the you're is at them, not you lol

[archiz]

I got it now hahaha

[mullahstan]

well i think that it's pretty much peeople like you, right?

[BrittBratt2416]

@mullahstan uh no i look nothing like those women

[JesseEllyson]

No, not anymore. I used to. But I've come to understand that a person's self-image has very little to do with their actual image. What I mean by that is that a person doesn't necessarily see themselves the way the rest of us see them. A beautiful person may believe themselves to be ugly while an ugly person may find themselves beautiful. Look at Donald Trump. He's an old, fat, dumpy looking creature with the worst orange hairpiece but he obviously thinks he's the greatest thing that ever walked the earth. Self-image is generated inside, not outside.

[Mr-Kabuki]

attractive people have the advantage of being a little insecure and have it actually make them more attractive. people will describe seeing an attractive person showing quirks as humanizing. think about that word, "humanizing", as if attractive people weren't human before? and when someone is ugly and insecure, i guess they are TOO human? It goes to show how much we idolize physical attractiveness in our world, as if they were above human before they let their guard down. when we see someone attractive show flaws, it puts them lower on the pedestal and almost make us feel like we got a shot.

[JustACrag]

No I don't. I find this happens because they are a threat in others eyes. And may cause people around them to gang up or create negative emotions, (within internally or external, people are not deaf to the group talking), from being soloed out of conversations.

[Anonymous]

Why? Beauty has nothing to do with it. i'm beautiful by people's word but never had positive feedback by men due to being very shy and socially awkward. after that my cofidence was only a downward spiral. got secluded in my self and now have zero friends and meet up with noone. i've seen other women and even know men who could be models and are virgin in their late twenties and thirties or had like a couple of boyfriends/girlfriends.

[Opinion Owner]

plus people get insecure over the most surprising reasons i've heard men gorgeous like the pic above say things like: "my hair is too thin", "i have a small penis no woman will be pleased", "i have a bone deformity on my chest", "my feet are too big", "i sweat uncontrollably", "i'm too hariry", and countless stuff like that.

[archiz]

Yea I am mainly talking about looks.
You should step up your game and mingle

[Opinion Owner]

yeah and i tell you that despite looks people can be lonely, awkward or insecure for a billion reasons, so it doesn't work for them. yeah i get what you mean. i had a classmate whom girls hated and were very weirded by, cause he was very pretty and insecure and this weirded them out.
as for me, i'm not much into socializing better in my seclusion.

[archiz]

That s true
You don't like people?

[Opinion Owner]

i'm an introvert and a deep thinker i can't lose my time with superficial socializing. plus they hurt me a lot in the past so i'm kinda of a misanthopist yes.

[Snuga2Allie]

No, because I see it a lot. Insecurities aren't only caused by not being attractive. Sometimes other girls get their heart broken by a guy and it sort of leaves them feeling as if they aren't good enough. It takes some time to get over it. Or if someone is attractive but can't seem to do well in school or land a job. They could be insecure about that. There's a lot that someone can be insecure about and I think everyone has insecurities to some degree.

[estoydorado1]

No, they have their own set of societal expectations to either live up to or break free from. Nobody's life will always be roses and sunshine and beauty doesn't equate to perfection. Society has a way of making you feel like you're inadequate and it can sneak up on the best of us.

[btbc92]

Everybody gets insecure, so no, it's not weird. To ignorant people, yes, it will. People thing attractive people are everything. But did anybody ever stop to think that attractive people didn't ask for all that attention, and be told to do and act out with unrealistic expectations? What do people really expect? It's only human. They're not gods. Treat them as human.

[btbc92]

think*

[bloodmountain1990]

Not at all. All kinds of people, attractive or not, can be insecure. You don't know what's going in their head let alone what caused them to be that way.

It's the same shit with people saying how can rich and famous people be depressed or suicidal? Same thing.

Being physically attractive isn't the be all end all.

[Problem13]

no not at all. the things that a person goes through breeds these. but i think its better to have a few insecurities then be fine just showing your body off to everyone

[archiz]

Hold on are you referring to my pic?

[Problem13]

no no not at all by what i said im referring to people who actually show themselves naked in public or online

[archiz]

Ahh okii👍

[normalice]

only when they're insecure about their looks. But there's a ton of other things to be insecure about..

[archiz]

Yea I am talking about looks

[normalice]

well, there's always going to be perceived imperfections. Even the 'hottest model' out there is going to think her toe is too big or something. It does seem to sort-of defeat the "purpose" of being attractive when a girl does that, though. Like, any guy would absolutely bang you if you give them the chance. There is no question. What other possible purpose could the be to being attractive? That's what's "weird" about it, I think. It's a failure to see the forest for the trees, as it were, and with particularly lovely trees, at that.

[Dolynne]

I don't think so. For some, the reason for their insecurity could also be caused by their appearance. If someone were to bully them in order to put them down, and they aren't able to stand up for themselves, I don't find it weird that they're insecure

[Cosytoasty]

Hmm, yes.

Just like when ugly people are overconfident, it's weird. The happy medium is knowing where you stand and not caring about it.

[archiz]

Good point

[Cosytoasty]

Like there's a certain dude on here, who is quite ummm... unattractive (and short lol). He acts confident to the point where it's blatantly obvious he's insecure and delusional.

It's just weird.

[archiz]

Hahaha yea I know who you 're talking about 😂

[itsallover]

Oh the shadeeee 😂

[HikerDude]

No. People are insecure for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with how they look. Most of it usually relates to their family lives.

[archiz]

I am mainly pointing out looks here though

[HikerDude]

But what do a person's looks have to do with a person's psychological wellbeing?

[Cloudy25]

No, it's a mental thing and doesn't actually depend much on one's looks. people who are insecure about their appearance usually have deeper insecurities too, and that's where the physical insecurities stem from.

[DizzyAster]

I did, but it makes sense. Everyone is insecure, but attractive people are sometimes put in the spotlight and that can't make it better.

Looks doesn't equal self confidences, it's just good genes.

[archiz]

I like the last tense 😝👍

[Frosteh]

Nope. People are insecure about a lot of different things, not just their looks. In fact a lot of really beautiful people are also shallow people, since they can typically get a lot of attention without any kind of effort.

[Bell44444]

What, they can't be insecure about their personality or social skills or interests?

[archiz]

I am talking about looks only hence why I mentioned attractive people.
Or else I d have said successful people or so

[Mitch6192]

I'm very suspicious tbh. Like... sometimes I just think they're attention seeking. It's a tough one, though. I sometimes get told I'm quite good looking, but I'd say at maximum I'm a 5/10. Genuinly. Like... more close to a 4.5/10

[JDavid25]

Naw, cause some attractive people ain't got an easy life, and ish don't play out like it does on T. V, or how people say an attractive persons life should play out.. Just look at all the pretty girls that ask how they look..

[MimiHashima]

I wouldn't. They're humans too as well as can have it hard if anything... things can be scary sometimes if your not sure what to expect..😐 no ones perfect at the end of the day lol but even so, some of those imperfections make them worthwhile.

[MimiHashima]

Nothing comes all that easy; although it seems easy for a moment..