Should I give the girls a chance that rejected me for being overweight in the past?

Question

I use to be overweight and there were girls that rejected me due to being overweight which there's nothing wrong with that. So i started working out & improved my weight & physique. At some point i ran into the girls that rejected me because these girls i met at my college & they started treating me differently and were more nice & wanted to have conversations with me. 4 out of the 6 that rejected me in the past were interested and wanted to date me. But i remember the past and i can't let that go. In the past they didn't even want to talk to me as friends & made up excuses to stop talking to me. But now all of a sudden the interests is there and they're acting really nice. I don't know if i want to date any of them because they just seem fake as fuck acting like that. They're very pretty but still that's not enough for me to just forget about the past. What should i do?

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

I'm just gonna put this put this out there without reading your content.

When we're growing up we are taught constantly about good health.
We may not know how to obtain it but we know the basics good healthy food and exercise.
Most young people of dating age is looking for a partner to have fun with.
No someone that can't keep up.
Someone that may have underlying issues
It's harsh but it's true.
Unless you have a medical condition contributing to your weight unfortunately it makes you a unlikely candidate in the first round.

Can we blame them, maybe? A little.
Or do we blame a society that focuses on purer beauty over inner?

It's not nice and doesn't seem fair but it also is life.

Imagine all those girls that looked like nerds in school, suddenly starting to blossom, they're not going to want to bring their status down. Catch my drift.

Think of mean girls when it comes to certain things.

It takes courage to step outside the box, and if you can see things for what they are you can now filter through the ones suddenly interested and actually gives the ones with the looks and the brains a chance.

Noone wants a shallow and dense partner.

Good luck

Puppystarfish23 · Accepted Answer

No definitely not. You sound like really sweet guy and you deserve a lot better. I can see why someone wouldn't want to date you if you were overweight because of health implications that would be my reasoning I don't want to stand around and see someone I love slowly poison themselves just like with drugs, alcohol and smoking.

But why go to all that effect to better yourself to then date a superficial, two faced bitches. You deserve better than that. They didn't even want to know you and treated you like crap back when you were fat and there's no excuse to treat people like that. Being kind cost nothing.

If they didn't want to know you at your worse they can't have you at your best. Get yourself a nice girl who loves you for you inside and out. Best of luck and well done on the weight lost 👍

MrBadd · Accepted Answer

Why did you start working out? It sounds like you did it to start getting more women right? Now you're getting more women interested in you.

You just lost the weight. Which means that the reason you were overweight was because you were lazy. It also means that you can keep yourself in shape if you don't get lazy again. I know this because I experienced the same thing and did the same thing. So ignore all of the talk about "she might leave if you get fat again". Just don't get fat again.

Every other new woman you meet would probably have done the exact same thing. I mean you can leave this women alone if you like, plenty more fish in the sea and all that, but they're no different from other women who didn't meet you when you were fat.

I'd say don't take advice from people with loser mentalities.

JackofSpades · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't want to have any kind of meaningful relationship with these women.
The only exception being if a LOT of time has passed and I have reason to believe that she was just in a shallow college bitch phase back then and has since grown out of it.

I'm not this kind of guy but if they're hot and you're interested in hookups or fuck buddy kind of relationships. They might be a decent option.
But otherwise I wouldn't recommend you waste your time and affection on them.

kidvid80 · Answer

if they rejected you solely off your looks before, now all of a sudden are into you? shows how shallow they are. they wouldn't be the type of girl you probably want in your life. if they didn't wanna put effort into you before and stopped talking to you etc, you don't owe them any effort or time now to be honest. and congrats on your weight loss!

Espresso-Grande · Answer

While it's okay for the women who rejected you to have their personal preferences, I don't believe you should give them a chance just because they accept you now due to you losing weight.

The reason being-imagine it develop into a long-term committed relationship, and years into the future you develop an illness that causes you to gain weight - what will she do then? Turn her back on you because you've gained weight again?

A persons loyalty to you shouldn't be based on your appearance. I'd question someone's character and level of loyalty if they'd only stand by me if I stayed slim and fit. Anyone can develop an illness that causes them to gain weight. Some medications alone can cause a person to gain weight. Gaining weight is sometimes beyond a person's control.

JoseyWales4 · Answer

Here’s the deal. There’s nothing wrong with girls having physical preferences. But they way you describe them. They sound awful shallow and cruel. You tried being nice and taking to them and they didn’t give you the time of day. Now when you’re a sexy stud, they want to be friends. SHALLOW!! Look you have to ask yourself, is there anything besides their beauty or their looks that they can offer. Because they aren’t gonna be hot forever and it’s not hard to find hot girls. They’re literally everywhere.

also this. They turned you down. And now they want you because you’re good looking. They have all the cards here, they have all the power in the social dynamic. Don’t you want to take back control and turn the balance of power to you. I’d tell them no. You’re a sexy dude now, you’ve got options and you’re not gonna be used and you’re nobody’s simp.

NOW GET OUT THERE AND DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO CHAMP!!

(either way which ever you decide to do I hope it works out)

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

There's difference between having certain preferences and being a bitch.
I'd maybe even have some kind of revenge on them or just purposely ignore them and move on.

Get a girl who likes you for who you are completely (personality, views, looks combined) not just looks.

Daniela1982 · Answer

I think you already answered your own question. But I know where you are coming from as I was overweight myself when I was in high school so know all about the rejection. I would only say that if you can't get over the hurt then forget them. But I would also say that people change once they get out of high school where girls had their little popular cliques. Once away from the bitches they may be totally different people.

livelife1018 · Answer

No i wouldn't, people who don't talk to you/give you a chance when you're at your heaviest don't deserve you at your lightest. It just shows their shallow people and the minute something changes with your appearance they are gonna bounce. You want someone whos gonna appreciate and love all of you, the good and the bad. The ups and the downs and not just for your looks.

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

We can have physical preferences. I am not attracted to overweight men. Would you date an overweight woman? I dont know why it is ok for some men to call women landwhales and say that they dont what landwhales but as soon as a woman does thesane she is a shallow bitch

invalid1 · Answer

NO. Don't be an idiot. Look man, look at me.
Look at me in the eyes 👀
THEY love your body. And you're not a body. You are a whole being 🌹ok?
Fine you have done a great job losing weight. But if they didn't assess your personality to see this inner strength that made you who you are today.! Then they don't know you, and they will never know you. Just reject them, pay back, but be better person. Reject them for WHO THEY ARE regardless of their body. And they will feel it, they will feel it DEEP. And this might teach them something.

I think you're a hero. Honestly, even if you lost weight because their rejection motivated you. You're still linking this motivation to them personally, not to girls in general. So there are many girls who will be more interested than them just by seeing your transformation.

Just please don't. Don't give evil a chance.
God bless you.

btbc92 · Answer

Don't, you deserve better. I can't stand being around people who behave like that. They are only interested in your body sexually, that's it, and because other men won't give them what they want. If they weren't attractive to you then, how all of a sudden could they now? If they really saw somebody worth dating, they would have dated you whether you were overweight or not.

The_Maphio · Answer

So she ditched you for not having had Scott Adkins's phisique and now that she didn't manage to get one such as that a few years before hitting "the wall" she's back to "bless you" with her interest?
Fuck that. Seriously. I personally hate the whole notion of being second fiddle, and nobody should allow that if they have any self-esteem.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Hell no. The best form of revenge is success, now she is on the outside looking in. They won't respect you because they only want your validation. A relationship with you only feeds their ego, they will bring you down. Time to conquer new lands bro, congrats on your progress. Keep moving forward

Rab1901 · Answer

Well, I'm glad you have self-respect because a lot of guys don't. I'd let the past go only if she has changed, likes you for you, and sincerely apologizes. If a girl likes you for only shallow reasons, she's not a quality person and not worth your time.

Anonymous · Answer

Stop whining about being treated like a fatty when you WERE a fatty, and go claim your damn victory. If it weren't for those girls, you would never have gotten your shit together, so understand that they probably felt bad at the time, or shortly thereafter, but they're probably proud of you now for making those changes and coming out of it stronger. You don't get better when people constantly blow sunshine up your ass, you get better by being motivated by your failures.

Go get what you worked so hard for.

NathanDavis · Answer

The six of them are all very pretty... so, any chance you were interested on them only, because they were very pretty? that would be very shallow of you.

So you being shallow, could rival their fakeness... and maybe they neutralize. Also, you really don't know them and they don't really know you... so maybe give it a try, have some conversations and see how they really are and let them see the real you, because people can also change and improve on the inside, not just their appearance.

GirlyGal20 · Answer

no because they didn't even want to be friends before which shows that they're very shallow. I don't fault them for not being attracted to you before but to not even talk to you? damn

Gespenster_division · Answer

Absolutely. I mean you were fat and were unattractive to them. It's like the girl I rejected years ago for being fat lost weight and looked great. Well I f*cked her.
Anyway these girls aren't fake as fuck, they are totally real. They were attracted to fat you and were honest about it.

HawkPerception · Answer

Physical preferences are normal. It's completely understandable if someone is not attracted to you because they're not into overweight guys. It doesn't mean they're shallow. They could have a great personality. If they judge you based on your money or social status though, that's another story. Stray far away from those ones.

Anonymous · Answer

No I wouldn't. Doesn't seem like they are in to you, only physically. Maybe if you want a revenge one night stand and then ghost them. Lol.

LebanonYassmeene · Answer

If someone doesn't like you the way you were, they will always have excuses to leave you. Such girls are superficial, who, materialistic, and braggers.

Biancam13 · Answer

I think, because physical attraction is not a choice, if they were nice to you before but rejected you in a respectful way then sure, you can give them a shot. But if they were rude when you were overweight then f*** them off.

Adiamoonlight · Answer

I agree with the view of dating new persons but be careful they can be superficial too. You would want to know them for a while before getting involved. Notice how they act around others and their main interests in life should be partial clues.

You should also be confident with your journey and not let it cloud your vision when meeting new people. Sometimes this tends to happen, a person's bad experiences might leave doubts when encountering a similar scenario or persons but in reality it's a new experience.

TheorionMage · Answer

If THEY were overweight would YOU have 'friend-zoned' them?

... let's FACE it, IMMEDIATE allure is physically-based and based in part upon peer prestiege...
"LOOKY who I got! " (Seem 'shallow'? What actually gets passed on in the DNA? NOT personality~ )

You can 'tart-up' a mousy nerd like in the Scooby Doo movie did with Velma... in that smokin leather cat suit but unless she's WILLING to walk on the wild side... its only cosplay!
The 'trick' lies in making her 'leap of faith' WORTH her transient discomfiture.
To 'reward' her for YOUR perception of her fullest potential glamoury.
To un-do the hypocritical Puritanical promulgation.

When learning to 'body surf' in the ocean... you learn mastery or you DROWN from your hesitancy.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Nah you should go for there's who liked you even when you werent fit

Ielloz · Answer

Hey
* Definitely make sure your prepared for the truth before you ask Questions’

I think you should ask her “Why did you reject me before in the past?
Why do think it would be a good idea to date me?”

**Make a goal in mind that you want in a Mate. **

Anonymous · Answer

As a former fat guy myself, I do think it’s hilarious when some girls won’t give you the time of day when you’re overweight and then the minute you get in shape, they’ll notice you. My advice is that you don’t want to be with the girls who turned you down because now you have the advantage of knowing their true character. That’s their loss and they have to live with it. You know the second something goes wrong in the relationship, they will drop you for a skinnier model. The good news is that you’re now free to date someone else and you will have more options.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Ignore them, looks matter but at the same time, as you pointed out they wanted nothing to do with you before but now they do which means they are shallow.

Anonymous · Answer

if they didn't want you when you were over weight, they are not worthy of you now. Fuck them..

At best i would use them as a pump and dump, because that is all they are worthy of.

Trust me on this, i have been there, I was once over 400 pounds, i dropped to 215, and suddenly i was attractive to these women.. I had fun with them, used them for a bit of pleasure.. But i did not date them. i married someone else.

Laciandmaci · Answer

No I would not, if you gain weight again, they may just up and leave!

exitseven · Answer

It is hard to let go of the past. I went through the same thing and I wanted nothing to do with anyone from high school. I made myself a different set of friends and actually had a girlfriend. When I went to college I totally left high school in the past.

Paul09 · Answer

Dude, think about it. Yoh did not give a sh*t about yourself before, you did not care about your health. So very understandable. I find it odd when non overweight people go for overweight people. To me it's giving up. Now that Yoh care about your health it shows. I'm not sure if Yoh should go for these women. Maybe for someone you dont have thar history with

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Ironic_Method · Answer

Yes. Looks are important in any relationship. I want to be attracted to my partner. I want to love AND lust for them.

A change in their weight or hair or style or whatever that makes them attractive to me (assuming the personality lines up) makes them just fine for dating even if I wasn't attracted to them before.

David_Kek · Answer

My advice would would be to fuck them off, and I mean in the literal sense. If in their eyes you're only good enough based on something as shallow as what's skin deep, then my advice would be to view them likewise, being good enough for sex and nothing else.
It'll help your ego and let go of past bitterness to pump and dump them with the same coldness they showed you.

JEndigoBleue · Answer

Naw, they showed their true colors in the past. Just don't treat others moving forward for the sins of others from your past.

Anonymous · Answer

If they treated you like garbage, a you may have indicated in your reply to hi_it_is_e123, then you have your answer. They are fake, which will not work in a long-term relationship.

If they simply rejected you without being intentionally rude, then I don't know.

Jaylaaa2000 · Answer

I mean if you are into them you should give them a chance.
But if not then you shouldn't lead them on.
I mean if you reject them because they rejected you that's kinda just petty which is very unattractive

Finchie40 · Answer

No , they didn’t like you then so why give them a chance now , those type of people don’t know what it means to truly love someone

Anonymous · Answer

They are fair weather friends, excited by your looks. You can have a bit of fun with them if you wish but they'll be toys and you appear to know this already.
People who have never known hardship have a tendency to lack self reflection and depth. They've never had to question themselves.
Look for someone with more depth if you're serious. Sounds like you deserve it.

Anonymous · Answer

No, you shouldn't. There's plenty of other girls out there. Also, did they actually say it was BECAUSE you were OVERWEIGHT?

AdithyaR · Answer

Now I'm assuming they were rude to you before and treated you badly when you were overweight. If that's the case, do not date them.

Otherwise, if they rejected you normally cause they had a preference, then it's honestly upto you.

genericname85 · Answer

sure. i think "being morbidly obese" is a very valid reason to be rejected or to reject someone for. so if one fixes that, i don't see an issue with giving them a chance, cause they've basically removed the flaw that lead to their rejection.

lolman95 · Answer

I think everyone is routing for you to move forward. AND SO AM I!!!

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

You should tell all the girls that rejected you for being overweight to go pound sand or if your horny fuck all those girls that turned you down & move on.

K-I-S-S · Answer

You were fat. That made you less attractive. If they let you down respectfully, then sure, why not.  If they were mean about it, then don't even waste a message on them.

Paulychicago10 · Answer

Hell no. If they couldn't take you for you at the time, dont give them a second chance. If all they want you for is your looks, they are shallow and. Ot worth a relationship

Dinklex3 · Answer

Do whatever you want.  If you wanna date them, date them. I personally wouldn't because I'm petty like that 🤷‍♀️

RationalMale · Answer

Why hold onto it? It's literally life. Fat people are not attractive, and I doubt you wanted to go chat up fat girls when you were fat or fit.

PeterCharie1991 · Answer

I understand how you feel, im the same can't let things go

slatyb · Answer

Date other women? Besides, I doubt that you would be willing to date a heavy woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Why not do this--just see how they make it up to you. Go on a date with them and see how willing to please they are. If you find them attractive and they turn you on, hook up with them. If they're not interested in playing like you want, then bail.

RingOfFire · Answer

Sure why not. Most people aren't attracted to fat people. It's not their fault.

Thedivinechic · Answer

The weirdest thing is I have loved fat guys like fat Joe and Action Bronson. I get cold easily. Lol

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Have fun. Date em all at once. Have a full rotation. You’re in college. No one dates.

blondfrog · Answer

Nope screw her. If she can't handle you at your worst she doesn't deserve to handle you at your best.

Twalli · Answer

For something like weight, people like it when you put in effort to stay in shape. I would give them a chance if you still find them attractive.

nelly83 · Answer

Let’s be frankly honest right here , if an overweight girl asked you out right now, you wouldn’t say yes either.  So how are these girls so terrible?

Alonewolf003 · Answer

Yeaah man when you buy a new mercedes girls starts to suck your cock as well. This is how life goes.

robocop666 · Answer

people are nicer to good looking people without even realising it. Ugly people are well aware of this.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Fuck them then dump them. Thats the best way to handle it.

Should I give the girls a chance that rejected me for being overweight in the past?

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