Is there any way to stop yourself from crying when you're very angry?

Question

Honestly, I'm sick and tired of not being able to hold back from crying in front of someone I'm mad at or in front of strangers because something awful happened. It makes me look stupid and weak. It made some people panic and feel bad.. would even apologize if they were the one who argued with me... and some even got confused, which is not something I want people to feel... And it also attracts lot of attention from random strangers. I don't want that. That's very embarassing.

I want to be seen as a strong person. I just want to be able to stop myself from bursting into tears when I'm angry and around people.

I'd really appreciate some help.

sirderpsalot123 · Accepted Answer

I don't often feel the need to cry, when do, I actually envy you for it being socially acceptable to cry in public. Not only is it socially acceptable for women to cry, women are expected to cry, so I think you should take advantage of that and cry in situations where you find it beneficial to do so. I really don't think most people are going to look at you and think "what a weak woman" (some might) they are more likely going to want to help you, or not think much of it at all.

A weird thing that helps stop myself from crying in public if I'm sad about something, is that I'll pick and a song and keep singing it over and over again in my head. You could do this with a poem too. Focusing on breathing also helps a lot.

For mad tears, failing to communicate properly can lead to the urge to cry. If you're arguing with someone, don't yell, stay calm and use your words. I can't relate to this one but I have seen women cry quite a few times because they were angry/frustrated and it seems like it's because they worked themselves up for screaming incoherently. You could also leave the room and come back after you have calmed down, then you won't have to worry about crying or saying things out of anger that you'll regret later.

Hopefully this helped you a little bit. 😅

ChiTown33 · Accepted Answer

When I was an adolescent I had that problem. I mean I'd get into physical fights. But I'd be crying the whole time 🤣. Hard to look tough/strong when guys see that. But it's not like it was a choice. I think I just learned to control my emotions as I got older. Most people say I'm completely stone faced now regardless of the situation which is funny to me because I just hide it well now. Just below the surface I'm a bundle of emotions.
Maybe it's just the fact that I KNOW how many will exploit your emotional weaknesses if they can that it's just tempered my resolve to not let ANYONE get in my head. I'm a naturally distrustful person you just learn that over the years.
So I guess what I'm saying it's just something you can develop over time.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

I deal with this too… And it’s honestly a mix of my anxiety, my built up repression of emotions, and being horrible at expressing frustration.

I’ve learned over the years that just stepping back, giving yourself a few minutes, taking deep breaths, and trying to map out what you want to say works a bit. Honestly, if I can step away and go to the room or a bathroom for 5-10 mins, I will cry and then come back calm. It works.

I guess it depends on the situation though. I think in settings such as work, sometimes stepping away from the situation isn’t applicable. But, I think deep breathes and trying to figure out what to say is still applicable. I don't know.

You are a strong person, stronger than you think. It’s normal to express emotions when you’re angry, and I think crying is a hell of a lot better than being physically violent or verbally abusive - at least in my experience. It shows a lot of self control, or at least a different way on managing your anger.

SpiderManFan2002 · Accepted Answer

For me personally no, in fact, crying is probably the best way to let my anger out because it’s either simply cry, or scream, shout, say a bunch of hurtful things, perhaps break something and then cry but if I cry to begin with none of that happens

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

To honestly answer this question would have to know the root cause like what are the situations that invoke such reactions in you.

What's the environment of these situations is it at work place home or your friends circle.

What are the topics that you make you frustrated and what's the reason for frustration what triggers it.

And what kind of personality you have , lol and i already know you are very emotional i did say that once to you 😅.

I think it's not a one day or one time solution once we know the root cause you need learn to develop somekind of solution to prevent you from getting out of bounds like we have to internalise that solution as your natural instinct.

Ray1980 · Answer

I have a system to keep emotions in check when needed. I call it visualization. I imagine I'm in a tree grove & all the negativity is leached from my body when I'm in this special place. This used to take some amount of time to achieve but through the years I've gotten much better at it & only takes seconds now.

lightbulb27 · Answer

have to learn how to manage and redirect that emotion. crying would be unable to control your emotional response to disappointment. Building strength working through difficulties.

I'm opposite, it's hard to cry. were all different. problem with crying is it seems weak to others and they can gain control of the situation, it makes them right.

crmoore · Answer

I hope this isn't offensive, I'd imagine it may be unsolicited, and I don't mean this flirtatiously, but I find that quality to be very endearing. It might be a silly question, but I'm curious, why do you want to come across as strong?

I don't want this to come across is discouraging you, but the world can be cruel and it naturally inclines hardiness in enough people. I think the world could use more delicacy.

Still-alive · Answer

i was the same way tbh with you. i would let things bubble up inside me until i just exploded and it often involved yelling and crying.

i guess i just learned to always speak my mind no matter what if anything makes me mad i just say it right then and there. make sure to get into a mode of thought where you don't give a shit if others like you or not. if you can do that you pretty much seem strong and you don't accept or take bullshit from people

llorando · Answer

Not the advice your looking for, but some people are crier's and their is nothing wrong with that. Best a crier can do is let the water works flow, the tiers will eventually stop as you slowly calm down :). Some people view crying as a weakness, but it takes a lot of strength to cry in front of others.

Shamalien · Answer

Don’t be so quick to want to suppress your emotions. One of the great luxuries of being female is that you can cry freely with little judgement, and tbh I think it’s healthy for both sexes but someone has to hold it in and be the strong rock and since men are better at it that burden falls to us. Enjoy what ya got

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

This is the results of balling up your anger, it will just come out at some point, it's best to do it at home when you get angry or sad, just let it out, fortunately for you, girls are socially acceptable to cry lol

RSav4013 · Answer

My best advice would be to make it a habit to always address potential issues that make you have emotional responses quickly. The longer you keep emotions bottled up, the more likely you're going to have an outburst you can't control.

Theo86 · Answer

Dont take people's opinion by heart. Try to take an offense head on and choose to not let anger take you.

For exaple, try thinking about why they could be doing this, like this is an analytical problem and you are wondering and thinking what the solution could be. Pretty good way to not feel angry and shift your focus somewhere else.

silkjames · Answer

I workout and train a lot I put all that negative energy in too that or find a hobby that makes u feel better maybe talk too someone best friend or family or therapist just find something that suits u🥰!!

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I know that being angry and crying can upset you but it's better to burst into tears than to break things that are valuable I hope you feel better (( Hugs ))

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Maybe try to redirect your attention onto something else right away and distract yourself from those feelings that made you want to cry.

Yucy_Gluttony · Answer

This may sound weird but and bad but by getting angry more often, you get used to the feeling!

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

Take a shot of vodka whenever you feel about crying... trust me you will be much stronger after few peg of vodka. 😂

Enigma07 · Answer

Try to think ahead of the situation, imagine what would happen and what the outcome is going to be. That way you will feel a lot better knowing what is going to happen while the other person don't or still mad.

Dingsbums · Answer

Thats cute. What about learning to control ur anger instead of learning to control ur tears?

Paul09 · Answer

Why do you cry when your mad tho? Isn't it a being very sad , or depressed thing that activates crying?

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t know what to tell you. This is a woman thing. It would never occur to me in a billion years to cry when I’m angry.

dustybiker · Answer

Be happy you have that reflex. It’s only when you lose it that you need to worry. Then you are damaged.

Is there any way to stop yourself from crying when you're very angry?

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