How do I stop hating the drunk driver that ruined my life?

Question

I got hit by a 17 year-old drunk driver long ago when I was 9 years old and barely survived. I can't ever get pregnant because of him. He ruined my life, destroyed my dreams of motherhood.

At the age of just 19, I should be a normal fertile woman but instead feel the same as those 40+ year-old women without any market value. I got taken away a natural ability of forming a family at such a young age. Honestly how do I stop hating him?

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On top of this, I had to deal with this co-worker's very rude comment of: but at least you can have sex nonstoppable, one less thing to worry about. Rude... mean, nasty.
I wanted to be a normal woman, happily married with kids.

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

I doubt I'd ever stop hating him if I were you but, at least there IS hope for you! I heard, at least a dozen years ago, that they can actually do uterus transplants, now! In other words, the ovaries and everything. Granted, they probably won't be your eggs (your DNA, etc.) but you SHOULD be able to get pregnant and have kids!
In a way, you COULD say you got off lucky! About 15 years ago, there was this Mexican girl that came to America to go to college in Texas. I'm no longer 100% sure of her name but, Madeline Sobarido seems to pop into my head. She was 19 years old and, she and two girl friends were in a car one night going from one party to another, I think, when some stupid ass drunk kid coming the other way on the same road they were on, veered over into their lane and hit their car head on and it burst into flames!! The other two girls were able to get out without a problem but Maddy couldn't get her seat belt undone and ended up burning in the car!! She lost her nose, all the hair on her body, several fingers and now, looks like a mass of walking melted skin!! She's had dozens and dozens of operations to try to make her look at least SOMEWHAT human but, I'm not sure how far they've gotten with her since then.
Okay, I got some of the details wrong but, my life's been a living hell for the past 3 years, too. I DID get her last name right! I haven't seen this in years but, it's still bringing tears to my eyes! If I ever saw her in public, I'd give her a great big hug and probably tell her that I love her!!

ArtemisSilver · Accepted Answer

You can still have a fulfilling life, adopt, or invest your efforts into a career that helps people and leave a legacy that way.

You don't have to stop hating this guy for hurting you, but you do have to make the best of the life you have.

Accepting that we have bodily limitations, and that sometimes our potential gets stripped from us, and wasted, is an unfortunate but all too common part of the human experience.

We don't get to choose our pain, only our response to it.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

40+ women without any market value…

I understand what you are saying and I am so sorry for you experiencing something like this. I truly am.

Though let’s try to look at it this way, even though you mention 40+ women have no market value (which I disagree) they still live 5 years longer on average than males.

So, all women have to be infertile for the half of their lives and they survive it, they keep living , they keep being happy and even outliving men’s lives who are believed to be more or less fertile as long as they are alive.

Even though motherhood can be a blessing for some, our lives are so much more than that.

I believe you can still fulfill your dreams by adopting one and changing someone’s life in the beat way possible. You will be a miracle to someone, dream come true. And I hope someday soon you’ll feel happy in your life and will let go of your past pain.

Is that driver still in touch with you, maybe asking about you every now and then? I would feel responsible my whole life if that was me.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you need some therapy? In seriousness. I get it, it's one of those horrible things, and I know it's WAY easier said than done, but you kind of just have to accept the reality because what's done is done, can't go back and change it, and people do make mistakes (granted this is not only a huge one, but preventable). Yes it's ruined that part of your life, but you can still have a great life, just be different than planned. Focus on what's good/great now, and not what can't be changed. Like I say, I know that's way easier said than done, but better for you and your wellbeing if you can do it. :)

ComingHere91 · Answer

I understand u, its hard.
But u shouldn't think of that moment, i mean at least remember it as less as u can.
You can still be grateful for what u have.
As a body i mean.
Worse things might have been happened too..
So i wish u great ans happy life :)

jshm2 · Answer

He can't have ruined what you didn't have, to begin with.

If you are not out living your best life having survived such a thing, then you've become bitter and small minded as that is what you've based your life and personality around.

Adopt kids, if that is what you want. But to be honest you seem unhinged and vindictive, and I wouldn't allow kids near you.

TenkRealist · Answer

Life sometimes sucks but hey. You still have the blessing of adoption. Give an unfortunate child a mother. Turn your "curse" into a blessing.

Anonymous · Answer

Believe, Everything happens for a reason. You got your life back. You could still adopt. Think positively.

How do I stop hating the drunk driver that ruined my life?

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