Do you agree with modern nightclubs now banning staring or approaching people without verbal consent?

Question

A NIGHTCLUB has banned staring without getting "verbal consent" - and hired "safety officers" in pink vests to police revellers. The venue also asked clubbers not to turn up if their "sole purpose" for their night out is the meet someone to "pick up". Club 77 in Sydney said managers will call the cops if clubbers stare at others without getting their consent. And in an Instagram post, the club said "safety officers" in pink vests would enforce the new staring rules. The fresh policy states that "Club 77 is not a place to come to if your sole purpose is to 'pick up'". It added: "If you do come in and are approaching multiple people or giving unwanted attention to someone, you are going to attract the attention of our security, who have been instructed to stop this kind of behaviour." The club said it was happy people to "interact with strangers” but "any engagement MUST begin with verbal consent". Staring was highlighted as one form of harassment in the club's new safety and harassment policy. The venue suggested clubbers could be booted out if they simply glanced at another person and they took offence - and the cops could be called. “If you are, for example, staring at someone from afar – if the attention you are giving someone is unwanted, that is considered harassment," the club said. “If you’re being harassed by another person or receiving unwanted attention, please seek them out or tell our staff immediately. "We adopt a policy of ‘always believe the report’ in cases of harassment and feeling unsafe. "If we receive reports of any behaviour that has made someone feel uncomfortable, the reported individual will be removed from the venue and the police will be called." Social media users jumped to support the new policy. One said: "Amazing!!! Positive party culture all the way!" Another wrote: "Backing this 100 per cent."

Dingsbums · Accepted Answer

“The venue also asked clubbers not to turn up if their "sole purpose" for their night out is the meet someone to "pick up".“

one day later only a few girls appeared on a girls night out then they left to go to other clubs because without getting any kind of attention it was kinda boring… wait this isn't what happened?😂

“If you do come in and are approaching multiple people or giving unwanted attention to someone,“ first of all how can u know your attention is unwanted before u give it to someone lmao. Also here they say approaching is bad then they say its fine if u have verbal consent. But how can u get verbal consent without approaching 😂 so this basically means talking to new people becomes a gamble. Might attract dome gamblers from Las Vegas lol. Because if u talk to a girl and she likes u everything is fine. But if the girl tends to have a boyfriend or a bitchy attitude she can just pull up a show or talk to the pink security guys to throw u out of the club even if all u did was ask “hi do I have ur consent to talk to u” ->”No u creep! Security pls help”😂

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

That's like a bank throwing out customers who come in "for the sole purpose of withdrawing money". How can you run a nightclub and not understand what the PURPOSE of a nightclub IS? I mean, actual harassment is one thing, and I can understand throwing out people who won't leave someone alone, but when looking at or talking to someone counts? How are you supposed to get someone's consent to talk to them without talking to them? Write your request on a paper airplane and throw it to them?

This "believe the [alleged] victim" mentality is what killed Emmett Till. I guess Australia never had an equivalent. Similarly, placing the entire burden of pursuit on one side of the equation and then penalizing them for doing it unsuccessfully is a big part of why dating culture's so rotten over here; if this nonsense doesn't get smacked down economically, it could turn Australia into another Japan.

I'd say "Don't say I didn't warn you", but I don't have your consent to warn you, do I?

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

Approaching people?-Translation: grabing or touching people in an inappropriate way lol. I dont believe that the clubs ban approaching or glancing. It is not the club's fault when there is so much sexual harrassment in clubs and people define it as approaching. If i was a guy, i would be happy that no man stare/approach my girlfriend/wife. So i dont understand men who are upset about it? Why do you want men to 'approach' your girlfriend/wife?
It has nothing to do with the question but do people really think they will find their soulmate at clubs? So why there is no clubs for conservatie or religious or traditional people who can have their fun without much alcohol. I wish there would be clubs for only hetero women/men or for married couples. It is disgusting when some people touch everyone or get naked at clubs like wtf. I have never ever been at clubs but i have heard that the sexual harrassment happens a lot to both men/women and i also have seen videos.
So it is not safe place in my opinion.

Snsl153 · Accepted Answer

Well, I can see that nightclub going out of business really fast within the not-too-distant future. How can an "engagement" begin with "verbal consent"; I mean, in order to get that consent you'd have to approach the person you're interested in before they've given consent.

This is stupid beyond words, and I'm not at all surprised it's happening in Sydney, because Australia has become worse than Trudeau's Canada, or Newsom's California when it comes to gross stupidity masquerading as sound policy.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Now I'm curious if it is illegal to look at someone there... because what would calling the police do? What law have they actually broken?

I know they can escort you off the property but beyond that seems questionable what can the police do, unless someone refuses to leave.

I don't agree with the looking part, but it is easy enough to approach and say, can we talk or want to talk? a yes or no... would allow it to continue or not.

I've been cornered many times by men who insist I need to listen to them before I can get away.

Granted sexual harassment is the larger problem, close crowded area's where guys are grabbing you.

Over all I'd say no.

TransAm85 · Answer

That's so sad.. In the early '00's, guys were a little annoying, and it was bad if we got really messed up b/c sometimes a desperate fucker would slip an X in a female's drink, but.. it's not as bad as today. Today females do it anyway! They try druggin each other up. I went to our Summerfest and I saw some bitches slippin pills in girls drinks while they were washing their hands in the bathroom! Wtf do u get outta that? U gna follow them and go rape them w/ur b/f? I remember in '18 I went to c Ice Cube and afterwards we went to a club and the security kicked my husband out for dancing on me! But I was too drunk to defend him.. I was dancing and drinking while he was outside arguing w/the security lol!

globetrotter22 · Answer

So staring is “criminal behavior” especially when women intentionally dress this way to get attention at a public venue?

You know what go ahead and let the clubs criminalize men for being men and see what happens. Droves of men will stop going to clubs, paying cover and buying insanely overpriced drinks. Revenues will plummet forcing clubs to shut down.

Also for all you brilliant ladies who somehow think this is some sort of “good idea”. Well I got news for you. When you throw out the baby with the bath water then don’t expect men you find attractive to approach you anymore (considering if they will still even go to the club in the first place).

For every “creep” this punishes there will be 5 or so decent guys who couldn’t read minds getting punished. There will be another 10 guys on top of that who won’t approach women who want to be approached.

BlueScorpio · Answer

That sounds really stupid, I get staring can be a bit ackward and maybe a little creepy but it's also a social que to let someone know you have their attention or that they might find you appealing/interested. Also how are you suppose to get verbal consent without approaching someone first? What are people suppose to shout across a loud bar/club and ask the person if it's okay to come talk to them? Also who does that? It's socially ackward, if you want to talk to someone go up to them but once you get the que their not interested in speaking to you then just walk away. But the only way you're gonna know is if you go up to them first. seriously what hell is this. I can see it now, everyones going to be in the club wondering why no one is interacting with anyone and just being to scared to to talk let alone look at each other. I wouldn't even bother going to those type of nightclubs, the whole point of going is to have a good time and maybe meet someone you don't know.

purplepoppy · Answer

To be honest I'm not surprised. I know of one nightclub in England a lot of women simply refuse to go in because of the amount of harassment they get. Guys with zero conversion skills approaching with tired chat up lines, many vulgar then getting nasty on reject before trying same line on another girl a few yards away. Many will simply come up and grope or rub their dicks on you. As for staring I think there's a big difference between looking and staring in a predatory fashion. If guys don't believe me go try staring at a bunch of guys bigger than you and see what happens.

The simple fact is unless clubs stop harassment, women stop going there and they turn into sausage fests

Phoenix98 · Answer

All I can say is hope you like losing your business because that’s the main reason people go to clubs.

Also this backwards stupid ass rule is gonna get them in a lot of trouble because it’s gonna be hard to legitimately enforce it and be fair about it. Because you could literally look in someone’s direction or scan a room and get kicked out.

Fucking retarded good job guys you run a club and are banning looking at people, attracting attention and approaching people.

and on that note you have to approach someone in order to get verbal consent in the first place.

so many ways this is gonna go wrong.

ethanallen · Answer

Karen : "Hello... Is this the 911 Operator?"

911 Operator : "Yes man, Please tell me your name and your emergency?"

Karen: "My name is Karen. I'm at Club 77 with my girlfriends and there are three creepy guys who are staring at my breasts"

911 Operator : "What do they look like?"

Karen: "They are torpedo like but sagging tremendously after my third child. One breasts points in a different direction than the other. My husband is a partner at the Law firm of Screw Em, Cheat Em and Fuck Em. Perhaps you've heard of him. Larry Goldstein. Anyways, I called him and he said if you don't arrest these guys, he is goin to sue the police"

Kaneki05 · Answer

I mean it's not like someone is gonna get someone thrown out for staring unless are really bothered by it. So it must be a problem in someway. Most girls wouldn't even notice a person stare for a moment so the guy staring must be pretty intent which is creepy. Especially in club? who in hell knows who's staring at them lol

So clearly this law is made for people who staring in very obvious creepy way which to me is fine to ban. Throw them out shrugs probably drunk anyway or weirdo waiting to find a moment to put something in her drink.
Because that's the only 2 states you will be in if somehow you are found caught staring in a dark club were people glance around all the time without been able to tell much.

IceCreamSandwich · Answer

Sure, some clubs want to be for partying not for pickups? Fine by me. If they actually enforce those rules too then it would be a lot easier to just have fun.

I didn't realize until I started going to places like this how common harassment is on both sides, and it can put a damper on things if it happens too often on the same night. I'm not even talking about staring, although that can be annoying too if someone won't stop staring at someone in the group for multiple minutes straight. Trying to pull someone out of the group to chat up, or feel them up, is more disruptive.

I doubt people will be kicked out just for taking a look or trying to talk to someone, as long as if they're told it's unwanted they don't persist.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Culturally I think this is bad all over.
People need to be able to handle basic nom-verbal human communication.

I get that it can be uncomfortable at times but we can't (or shouldn't) punish people for inaction such as that. It just reinforces more people to become exactly like that.. too afraid to walk up and take actual action, so they just stare. These types of rules and trends just miss the point and is blind to the root cause of the issue.

Recently (last 5 years) I actually think it's not the popular opinion that makes society play along like this. It's the boycotts and the loud minorities coupled with the algorythms of social media. It's not feminism, it's extremism being over-represented because they're loud and visible.

People at clubs like this will have sunglassed 24/7.

RiseofArtemis · Answer

This has to be the biggest joke ever to have been done as a rule for nightclubs. Yet again its somehow always fault of men that these rules are done. If he was a 10/10 Chad these rules wouldn't be done and he could even beat the crap out of her and she wouldn't mind because he looks like a 10. These rules only count for those they are interested in.

If you want to kill night clubs sure this is how you do it. Just give men even more reasons not to talk to or approach women anymore. Even Chads avoid them now and only do the occasional hookup. Women only go to nightclubs in hope they'd get a hot dude. If no man was going there neither would women.

jshm2 · Answer

In other words, they are only accepting couples and groups. Single people can fuck off to drink and do drugs somewhere else.

Will be funny to see the policy "tested" though. Such as when they get a coked up person staring into space, with another coke head accusing them of "staring at them".

Can imagine a lot of clubs getting busted.

But I'm cynical and Club 77 is just just talking shit. It's just an advert for Club 77 and nothing is really changing.

chicosuave · Answer

😂 Australia is some fucked up country. That venue will go out of business. Once guys know what's happening they will stop going. You can't control men's nature for staring. This is typically aimed at guys no doubt. Men feel safe anywhere we are. So this is not for us. Here in the USA I'm glad there this thing called the first amendment. Geeses. I feel bad for Australians. I mean sure women will love it at first but once they know they can't get any attention from anyone they will stop going. And women are lovers for attention.

JSmuve · Answer

No, that's fucking retarded. How the hell are you supposed to get verbal consent before approaching someone? Are you supposed to yell across the club at them? And what if security does come up to someone, is security going to ask for consent first before giving unwanted attention to that individual? Because that would constitute harassment per the club's policies.

It's funny, you ask a question on this site about where to meet people and lots of people will respond with "in bars and clubs". But this club has it that you shouldn't bother coming if you want to meet anyone. So I guess we can slowly remove bars and clubs off the list of potential places to meet someone.

bolverk · Answer

This club will go the same way as the 'Hansom Her' cafe, they are telling the very customers they need to survive that they are not wanted, I give it a fortnight before the traffic in "Club 77'" drops to a level that threatens the financial viability of the club and I doubt that the traffic would reappear if the club rescinded the ban, If people feel unwelcome they'll just go somewhere else it is after all in the Darlinghurst party strip and while Club 77 may have a 20-year legacy that is no guarantee that people will keep visiting it if they feel they are not wanted.

Also how will they differentiate between someone staring a someone or someone staring off into space in the general direction of someone? Why do I have a feeling it be because 'She said' with no proof.

Pinay_ako · Answer

🤣 what a kill joy! People just like to suck the happiness out of everything. 🙄 Good thing, this didn’t happen in those times I would come home in the crack of dawn 🤣 after a night of clubbing and actually having fun. People really need to chill tf out and let loose. That’s what clubbing is for. Dancing the night away without thinking of being proper. 🤣 whatever

MCheetah · Answer

That's stupid. That's like the quickest way to go out of business. I wouldn't be surprised if this was in England or Europe. Oh, it's in Australia, so I was close, as that's basically England II. Yeah, when this stupid club eventually goes under, everyone will be laughing at them, and rightfully so. Considering many women like the attention they get when they dress up at the club, even they wouldn't go there anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it’s fine. I think some guys will over-react, but there are guys who do creepy shit at clubs, and I don’t think that these rules will affect normal guys.

At clubs, if she’s approached my girlfriend is very quick to shut it down. She doesn’t trust men in clubs at all. That’s what you want in a girlfriend, she’s also the type those other guys are worried out. I know that she still wouldn’t be reporting anybody to a bouncer unless they were being really inappropriate.

When guys see this they’re thinking about crazy man-hating feminists reporting them, but most women are reasonable and aren’t out to get men. I don’t think that guys will get reported for just looking at a woman, there’s a difference between having a look vs eyeballing her like a psychopath.

rtj1211 · Answer

Clubs like that should be women only. Then they wouldn't have any men staring at them.

There should be different clubs for the majority of women out on the pull and men doing likewise.

So have three types of clubs:

Gay clubs; clubs for female nuns; and clubs for normal people.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I think this is going to far. Staring at someone could be uncomfortable but what defines staring? 5 seconds, 10? My luck I'd be kicked out for squinting across the bar trying to see what time it is on their wall clock and a woman thinks I'm staring... lol. getting dragged out of a bar for looking at a clock lol.

Do you agree with modern nightclubs now banning staring or approaching people without verbal consent?

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