What is your toxic trait/s? (we all have them lol)?

[Izzy_3991]

[Weapon77]

No, not everybody has them. As a psychologist, I absolutely LOATHE this obsession social media has with everyone having one or more toxic traits. Only mentally unwell, willfully bad, or ignorantly bad people have toxic traits. Most people do not have toxic traits. Most people have FLAWS. I'm sick of people spreading the idea that our flaws are toxic when they absolutely are not. They are learning opportunities. We are all flawed and all can learn to work on our flaws and better ourselves. Why is it trendy to hve negative traits? We shouldn't be ashamed of our flaws, but we should always try to improve. Why do we talk about these flaws as if they are these tragic heroic flaws we can never change whrn we obviously can change them? Or as if they are funny when they are serious? It's not funny to knowingly have flaws and act like others should just have to deal with them without you trying to improve at all.

We've been calling ghosting, texting days later, pursuing relationships with people we know are not compatible, and getting jealous or envious toxic traits when all they are are FLAWS that can be worked on. Actually toxic traits are things like physically stalking people, theft, assaulting people physically or verbally, using people for sex when they have feelings for you, addiction, and other serious things. And those things need serious counseling and/or prison time. And they aren't the kond of thing people readily admit to.

[AshLee83]

I agree with you fully. We all have flaws, the ones we’re able to acknowledge are the ones that SHOULD already be a work in progress. Of course it’s difficult to be conscious of every negative trait which is why an outsider’s perspective or a little constructive criticism can be of great value.

When I hear the word toxic…. I think of pathological liars, gas lighters, narcissists, and every other type of person we should all keep our distance from.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Thank you for sharing.

[SeriouslyFunny00]

One of the best comments that I have seen. Definitely helpful for those who aren't knowledgeable about this topic.

[Weapon77]

@AshLee83 Exactly. The things you mentioned are truly toxic. Pathological liar is perfect example!

[Weapon77]

@SeriouslyFunny00 Appreciate it! I hope it helps some people.

[Chazmatazz269]

I think the term “toxic” is overused to the point of being misused. I’m an alcoholic. That’s me at my most toxic literally and figuratively. Of course, the snowflakes would likely describe me as extremely toxic for some other reasons. My worst habit socially is i tend to interrupt, a lot. Like a child, when i conceive a thought i find it difficult to contain; even when someone else who is STILL talking inspired the thought to begin with. Say something awesome in my presence and then TRY to finish your thought. Ell oh ell! I hate myself so much when i do that.
I’m also a word nerd. I’ve been accused of being a “Grammar Nazi”. I think that’s harsh, but i understand. Ell oh ell! And i’m more than a little of a “know-it-all”. What can i say? I read a lot. I retain and recall information well. And as most of us relate to the world in terms of self, i too often assume people are like me and will find information interesting and useful. They so often don’t! Ell oh ell! Especially when new information seems to contradict what they think they already know. Yeesh!!!

[likelyOK]

not toxic but:

In the past I found myself obsessing over an ex’s ex because I knew he was comparing me to her and I felt he treated her better.

excepting red flags 🚩 in a relationship hoping to “make up” for or fix their psychologically unhealthy flaws like (but not limited to) verbal outbursts, belittling and unhealthy hang ups.

[curiousaboutthis]

There are too many to list, so I listed just a few.

-I am stubborn

-I turn everything into a joke to protect myself ( not necessarily a good thing)

-I burn myself out after trying too hard to be better than everyone else

-I love arguing for some unknown reason.

[Sonorous]

It really depends on what someone means by "toxic," but I notice I struggle with expressing empathy. I feel it. So I'm no sociopath... But showing it feels so foreign to me. I tend to prefer to go the problem solving/logical route rather than appeal to emotion.

[Jdjfjcjj]

I'd argue that showing empathy doesn't require an emotional response. Taking the time to figure out a logical solution shows you understand the problem and are willing do something that benefits the other person. Indifference or defensiveness would show a lack of empathy.

Curious if you use a more logical (less emotional) response when you are on the receiving end as well as when you are bringing the issue up.

[Sonorous]

@Jdjfjcjj - Oh, I agree with you on this! I guess (to be more accurate) I could say that "I struggle with expressing empathy in the way that many might expect or desire."

I only say this because I've constantly had to explain this to my close female family members. But when they don't want to hear how to solve an issue right away (due to extreme emotions being triggered), they reject my form of empathy due to it's call to action nature having a more critical & less validating feel. So, if I wouldn't want to deeply upset them, I'd have to spend time stroking their ego by reassuring that their map of reality is valid, their feelings are justified, etc. Then I might be able to slowly propose adjustments to their thoughts, actions, or behaviors. But, of course, in that overly loving way so their minds don't make me enemy number 1.

Oftentimes, it feels that, regardless of the history of rapport establishment, before a certain topic connected to the sense of self, I have to constantly ensure that it is active and get a sense of its degree in order to avoid conflict with those types. Blunt truth is rarely welcomed when their negative emotions are triggered. And I'm just not that way. I always welcome it.

And I'd say I don't have any cognitive dissonance with this. I hold myself to the same standards I expect. And for fairness, I only expect things from those capable of meeting the criteria. And of course, the nature of how I go about it will differ from situation to situation. I recognize that even the smallest change can provide a drastically different outcome.

[Sonorous]

before *engaging in* a certain topic connected to the sense of self

[Account]

I have the exact same issue

[Sonorous]

@Account -

[MCheetah]

I don't take the term "toxic" seriously. It's such an idiotic feminist/Progressive buzzword.

But my most negative traits are that I'm:

• Pessimistic
• Cynical
• Easily irritated/hot-headed (especially by human stupidity)
• and "Too hard on [myself]," according to everyone who knows me.

To work on some of these, I've been spending more time in my day to be grateful for the few good things I do currently have in my life, and meditating more and reflecting on how to be a calmer, better person and improve who I am, as a person.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I am way too defensive. I've been working on it for years, I catch myself sometimes and it's gotten to a point where people who know me well can laugh when I catch myself. It can be incredibly embarrassing sometimes though.

I grew up without a whole lot of support and a lot of people doubting me and trying to get in my way so I'm overly sensetive to thinking people mean me harm. It's a trait that on one hand is useful but also right now does more harm than good so I'm still trying to balance it in my life.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I have alist lol it's more like harmful to myself than anybody else.

I am very self centred person

I cannot feel empathy for everyone equally but it's intrensic and i don't have control over it.

For some i go to very extreme levels sit and listen to them try to sort it out but for some i feel nothing its weird.

Same goes with my conversation skills i am a blaber mouth with some and a silent douchebag with most people my silence haunts them 😂.

If i focus on one person its like i leach on to them they become my one source of happiness and pain that a tough one not good at all
I tried to change this but doesn't work i end up being alone

[letuswaltzforthedead]

I'm going to list a number off the top of my head.

• impulsive
• Egotistic
• Disagreeable, argumentative
• Stubborn
• Distrusting of others
• capricious, moody

To some degree, I find it funny. I've taken personality quizzes before and they usually all tell me the same thing.

[TroyDT2]

I despise broad brush bullsh*t. It is one of the few things that can make me rage. It infuriates me when someone justifies hating or slamming entire groups of people because of a few bad experiences or because a small % of people who share those physical traits do something. That's what the KKK and every other hate group does. It is the primary reason I have blocked people on this site.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I have a constant desire to shitpost. IRL, I crack jokes that piss people off. I feel good inside when I trigger someone and they go into rage mode.

[nolabels]

Moody, moody, moody, and sometimes moody.

Many times, explainably moody, but, yeah, sometimes inexplicably so.

Inclined to angry outbursts when a subject has been shelved and closed to further discussion by 'the adversary' for no logical reason, followed afterwards by moodiness.

Gee, go figure.

Just tryin' to be real, here.

Succeeding, I guess.

[Marklaw12]

I'm cold at times without knowing it. I'm called a romantic but I'm also called iceman.

She could be telling me all her issues and my response is "always remember what you're going through isn't that bad when you see what others have been through"

She responds, "I know that but this isn't about them but me"

I fxxked that up a lot of times

[loveslongnails]

That would depend on who is judging me, wouldn't it? If you ask a right-wing girl, I'm pretty sure she'll think I'm toxic because I'm a moderate liberal. I think she'd be toxic for the reverse reason. It obviously applies to other personality traits too, not just politics, religion or your views on the world, but as many responders have said, we have flaws and they're not necessarily "toxic to everyone" or even ourselves.

[standardguy]

But trait has nothing to do with opinion.

[Anonymous]

Suspicious

Clingy

Distrustful

Blow my top when triggered for small things.

Unstable emotions.

But I am loyal, thoughtful, affectionate optimistic and push myself and others to reach their full potential.

I love withbmy full heart. I guess that's why the one's who get that bloke stay through the craziness.

[whirled_up_girl]

I have too much imagination for how things could go wrong in too many situations, my friends and family tell me "you worry too much".

[chocolatesinpockets]

👏🏻👏🏻... Don't most of us on here, lol but that's a community of strangers coming together here on GAG mostly anonymously. And in reality, yeah, it's a modern world. be well 🙂

[likelyOK]

@chocolatesinpockets facts

[ShellyB]

My ego can be a problem if I do not control it, fortunately I know that and have created rules for myself that keep it from getting out of hand. I can also be selfish sometimes but I am working on that!!

[LaBokaChula]

As soon as I am disrespected you're gone.. I don't give second chances anymore.. I get very annoyed when people disrespect me and I'll tolerate it for a bit before I snap and they're gone.. I don't think this is very healthy.

[Steamnir]

I get my nose in things thats not my business, but i hate seeing the other person suffer so i get involved

[Izzy_3991]

I’ve done that a lot too. I like to help people not to get their feelings hurt but it always seem to backfire on me.

[AsaKyo]

- Worry too much
- Kind of say what's on my mind
- Have extreme anxiety
- Very self-critical
- Low self-esteem
- Have a hard time believing people

[Wolfynight]

I am an over-thinker, and tend to be really low in confidence, and I think negatively if I think that a situation is going bad. I also tend to be extremely attached quickly

[Guardian45]

Me too!

[Wolfynight]

@Guardian45 nice lol, that's just who i am

[Guardian45]

We're similar

[wittymilf]

I try to push people to just get over it when they’re not ready, I don’t listen long enough to their problems to actually be able to give them peace.

[Account]

- Inability to express emotion. Difficulty identifying complex emotions.

- Difficulty trusting people.

- Overly critical.

- Defensive.

- Gloomy.

[chocolatesinpockets]

I have my moody moments, or if I feel sometimes like I'm an uptight person over little things that annoy me, I shouldn't care lol like the similar sentiment as who cares what others think.