Is this site bad for people that want to remain anonymous?

[Anonymous]

There aren't a lot of members here, so this means that if you stay here for a long of time, you will eventually acquire a name/reputation either positive or negative and will be judged for your opinions and might even be disliked and targetted by some people, as opposed to other forums with a larger user base such as Reddit, where most users are unknown/strangers to each other.

In this aspect, the site reminds me a lot of high school or a small village. Definitely not the best for those, who are a city person and prefer to get lost in big crowds.

There is of course, the anonymous feature, but it's not very helpful, as a lot of people seem to be prejudiced towards Anonymous users and I don't know if it will continue existing for a long time

[SnowedIn]

This is just like real life. Middle school, high school, church, work, friend group, etc. You control/own/shape your name and reputation. What you write is either positive or negative, helpful or caustic, snarky or funny, or a hybrid of all of those. And, yes, just like in real life you will be judged or shunned or celebrated for your opinions. Commenting on certain user's posts will get you a dislike for no other reason than you commented on that post. Etc. GaG mirrors real life with the added bonus (said sarcastically) that people hide behind having no filter.

As for anonymous users, yes, there is a lot of prejudice. Too often, anonymous users use the feature to ask questions that have no need for anon or to stir the pot. The problem with anon is that it makes me question the user's credibility. We already have so much anonymity from our username. Or it makes me question their sincerity. The disservice that anon gives to the user who uses it is that if they ask a great question no one can credit that question back to them and read/respond to them in the future.

[AmandaYVR]

Snowed, that was masterfully stated. Bravo. 👏

[SnowedIn]

@AmandaYVR ... high praise, indeed, coming from you. I'm humbled and very appreciative.

[AmandaYVR]

Deserved.
I might even quote you on this later.
You have such a nice way about you. You haven't been here so long that you are uber-cynical, fed-up, etc. You're patient, informative, supportive. You teach, without it being heavy-handed or condescending. And you're balanced and fair and not overly judgmental, yet you try to speak truth.

How's that? Even better praise, no? lol As Will Hunting says, "How do you like them apples?" hahaha

[SnowedIn]

@AmandaYVR ... you had me at deserved. Thank you. I needed this after this week. And, I'll hold you to it: if I ever get cynical or fed-up, my expectation is that you smack me a good one.

"How do you like them apples"... also from the musical "Gypsy"...

Thank you, thank you!

[AmandaYVR]

Well you hide it well. 😊
(And you're allowed to feel it sometimes. I will commiserate with you.)

[MrCommodore]

I think Anonymous feature is unnecessary here, because each users profile is technically anonymous anyway, as few people use their real name or details in my experience.

[AmandaYVR]

Not being liked by some is part of life. Get over it! Express yourself. It is through doing this, that you air out your ideas, philosophies, and test them, find out whether they are sound, or completely full of shit.

You cannot hide forever.

[Shamalien]

Some ideas are far easier to express than others. Only once you have an opinion which the masses despise will you understand the slings and arrows

[Asker]

You get already get judged by your opinions though on a daily basis, at school, or work.
I'm just here to ask for advice or offer advice/my opinions to others, I don't need the drama

[AmandaYVR]

@Shamalien You think I haven't gotten slings and arrows? I've been called a cunt, an idiot Liberal, an old hag, you name it... and for what?
Does't matter. I still don't believe in anon'ing. Maybe for some very personal sexual qs, abuse, career, stuff like that. But people really need to develop thicker skins. Humans used to be part of tribes, where everyone knew everyone. Hiding behind avatars is not good for individuals, or society.

And if everyone dislikes you all the time, then maybe you should change.

[AmandaYVR]

Asker, yes, this is true, and you make a fair point.
But on the internet, you are judged MORE than anywhere else. You'll never escape that. It's just the nature of it.
So learn to cope, adapt, not care.

[Shamalien]

“If everyone dislikes you all the time then maybe you should change”

Yeah…being on the other side of that attitude is what you don’t understand. Sometimes the majority is wrong…in fact often

[AmandaYVR]

@Shamalien, you know you are a blunt, divisive, polarizing person. You, yourself, have said these things. You maybe truly believe the things you say, and that they are important or need to be said, or something, but you hit below the belt, you make disagreements on issues personal instead of staying on point. You've done it to me as well. People can only tolerate so much. Everyone has differing amounts of patience and resilience, some much more than others, but you really can't now claim that your ideas are different, and that's why you are sometimes "despised." (That's a very harsh word I wouldn't use, but it's your prerogative.) You have to take accountability for how you say things. If you want interactions with people, treat them more respectfully, even when they disagree.

What I will give you credit for is interacting again, even after a block. That's admirable.

[Shamalien]

@AmandaYVR I use this site to blow off steam. Believe it or not, irl, I am very well liked, and have massively toned down my polarizing attitudes as I realized it was creating too much conflict.

One thing remains though: I am not afraid of conflict, and I will sacrifice peace for truth as often as I can afford to because I don’t like how fake everyone is. And the majority is wrong on almost everything that matters in this world.

I like how you say I’m despised but claim you wouldn’t say that, while simultaneously telling me I hit below the belt. I’ve had a busy couple of years and have matured a lot, I’m still only in my 20s and I’m sure I have lots to learn yet. Thanks for unblocking me 😂

[Shamalien]

@AmandaYVR during covid though, when I remained unvaxxed and unmasked and expressed the veritable fact that this is a psyop and these rituals are not for our safety, I did experience what it’s like to be the discriminated against minority (and it’s not a new feeling for me being a jewish kid in a world where south park existed growing up)

It’s not a fun feeling. You would probably be one of those people who dehumanized me for my stance. I’ve witnessed complete mental breakdowns, people swearing and spitting in my face, telling me I cannot come in from the cold, calling me all sorts of names and making assumptions about my character

I just don’t get the sense that you really know what it’s like because you have the convenience of agreeing with the majority.

[AmandaYVR]

@Shamalien See, that's a good example of communication differences. There is, in fact, a great difference between "despised" and "hitting below the belt." Don't you see that? I was cognizant to differentiate, making it clear that label was yours.

Congrats on toning down your polarizing attitudes. I think that's great you recognize the conflict that it creates. No one has to live with that amount of conflict. It's unpleasant. But some is also healthy, right? We all have to stand up for what we believe in, sometimes.

[AmandaYVR]

Be careful about assumptions, Shamalien.
I was not pro-vaccines. I was against them.

[Shamalien]

@AmandaYVR well we live in the same city, in which almost everyone supports these vaxxes so it’s refreshing to hear you are against, sorry for my assumption. In that case, you probably know what it feels like to be the minority, and can understand that sometimes, in fact oftentimes, that when everyone finds a reason to gang up on you, it is not a good indicator that you are the one who should change. The majority is almost always wrong about everything

[AmandaYVR]

@Shamalien The majority is not almost always wrong. But the majority may fall into hivemind thinking, and that I am vehemently against. I know that you are not like that. You have prided yourself on thinking independently, and that's good. I support that very much. Sometimes "the masses" are right; sometimes they are more wrong. It depends, for one, where they are getting their information. And I have found, how complex that information is. Many just bow out, and don't do their own extensive research - for many reasons, some legit, some not. The main one that is justifiable is barely surviving as is, trying to put food on the table. They have base needs to fulfill, and can't be bothered with higher stuff.

I actually really dislike our city now. For a number of reasons.
Do you remember the pm chat we had about it, long ago? You said the women were all the same, in your dating pool. I can't speak on that, I don't know them. My best friend is 30, and she met her now boyfriend on Tinder from a hookup. So I do know some things from her perspective. But I won't speak on behalf of girls here. I'll just say I'm really angry at many of the governmental policies of this city, and I have turned almost 180° from where I used to sit on things.
I don't want to get into specifics, cause it'll make me too mad, but you might be surprised at how much we agree on now.

[AmandaYVR]

I have gone through phases of blocking, and removing all blocks, starting over. But I've never hid comments from those I've blocked (in Settings.) So I continue to see, and often read, comments from these people. So I'm pretty aware of behaviour, and see the waves of peoples' emotions, when they might flare up on certain issues but be fine on others; or when they might be having a bad day, bad mood; or maybe they really hate some specific users and the worst comes out of them then.
All these things, I try to take into acccount.
I used to block people based on what I witnessed of them treating others. Then I changed my view radically on that, and decided it would be based only on how they treat me. (Something in between is probably the best method there.)
But change is what I respect. Effort. So I do give you kudos, Shamalien. You're not all bad, I never said or thought that. But you'll have a better mental state if you can temper yourself a bit, which you seem to realize now, so good for you. Props for that.
And we all have to forgive, and give people the opportunity to change. And hope we receive the same opportunities in return. No one is without flaws, or acts right all the time. Allowing for that is important. (So thank you for that, as well.)

[Shamalien]

Amen sister

[Anonymous]

Matter of opinion I'd say. Probably 80% of my posts are done anon. But I just look at it this way. I'm only here to help with advice if I can. No one needs to know who am to help. They either want to take the advice or they don't.

[exitseven]

This is the reason I like this site instead of a great ig place like Redditt. I would rather know a little bit about the people I interact with,

[Anonymous]

Being anonymous on sensitive topics can help, but yes, after a while of being on here that anonymity is decreased as people get to know you.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t have any trouble here. I’ve been here for almost 12 years.

[Asker]

Are you sure about this?

[Iron_Man]

A couple rotten apples doesn’t affect me

[sirderpsalot123]

I don't think they are going to get rid of the anon feature. Most complaints get ignored.

[AmandaYVR]

Right. They're keeping it.
They could modify it to limit its use per user/wk, if they wanted to. But I have suggested this multiple times, and I suspect they won't. They think it brings traffic to the site. They don't take into account it's net destructiveness.

[Danny_dan92]

Mad people go anon. I don’t. I’m not afraid

[Asker]

I mean, I'm not here to socialize with others, just to give and receive advice on certain topics. You already deal with judgment on a daily basic, in school, work etc.
It would be nice, if there was a place you wouldn't have to go through all of this

[Danny_dan92]

Everyone is different. I’m not afraid of adversity

[Summeroflove]

Some like me. Some don’t. Whatever.

[BarryLiverstone]

I remain anon by being honest and transparent.