Is it ok to be very picky on who my sperm donor will be?

[Anonymous]

I already know I'm not going to make it on time to have kids in a relationship. So I'm cutting down to the chase and opting for a sperm donor. While my count is still ok, it's going to drop significantly by 2024. I had a prior surgical procedure on an ovary (many cysts formed, causing me very painful periods) years ago when I was 31 and that reduced the size and egg count in the right ovary. The surgery itself dropped it so much too. The left ovary is what's keeping me fertile.

I don't mean to sound like a racist but this is what I want my sperm donor to be like:

- Very tall man, 6ft and above (my younger brother is 6ft himself, dad is 5'11 and I'm 5'7 myself)

- Definitely white man of only European features; pure white

- Super bonus if he has recessive traits. That includes light eyes (blue, green, amber, grey) and blonde or red hair. Though I have a thing red hair; to me it's the most beautiful hair color ever. My mother used to be red-haired in her early years.

For a donor, I would like to get impregnated by a man with these features:

For once in my life, I'm super picky when it comes to what donor I want to be impregnated with. Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Sure you can be picky but it will probably cost more and it’s no guarantee that the baby will have the same features because DNA is strange that way because sometimes latent traits that are dormant come out too. I know from experience that unless you have light eyes too the baby doesn’t usually get the fathers eyes. My daughters look like models now but they didn’t get my blue eyes, one got my light hair since I’m blonde and they are around 5’7” in height and I’m 5”10” , there is no mental illness in either side of my family or the mother and everyone is quite intelligent, one of my kids is becoming a doctor and the other ones are nurses. You’re probably better off finding a guy that you like his looks and research his background and is willing to just be a donor

[Asker]

I know there are more chances of having a white child if I get impregnated by a white man than by a mestizo or indigenous man. It's still worth a try. I have a couple hidden recessive genes too; for instance I'm the carrier of red hair and maybe light eyes too. I had a couple light eyes members in my family.

[Opinion Owner]

You never know, my traits were very dominant in my children, their mom is black but they came out really light with sharper features and nice hair because of me being white with European ancestry

[Berethor]

Well she hope that the white traits would come out on top, as they did in your cause.

[Opinion Owner]

@Berethor it’s possible depending on the person’s background

[Berethor]

@Anonymous sounds like a big luck to me, because white traits tend to be recessive.

[Asker]

@Berethor
Yeah they're recessive but base on this information I'm about to provide, do I still have a higher chance of my child getting my donor's traits, of getting the recessive genes:
I'm 5'7 (taller than the average woman in my country), mestiza of lighter tone, closer to my mom's white color than my father's brown tone (1/2 white, 1/2 indigenous), carrier of the red-haired recessive gene since my mother was a red-haired and possible carrier of blonde hair and light eyes (maybe since there was a blonde haired member on both sides of my parents). My mother's paternal grandfather was a tall European immigrant with blonde hair and blue eyes, her mother was white too. One of my father's grandfather or great-grandfather was a blonde guy too.
Then I have a couple indigenous side too. My maternal grandmother is the shortest in the family and brown indigenous. Mom didn't get any of my mother's trait; she looked like her white father and grandfather. My father (brown indigenous) didn't get anything from his white father either. So yeah it's like rolling the rice.
Guys what is my luck if I mix together with a white guy like on the pictures? Given my history I just told you, are my chances good too?

[Berethor]

@Asker the chances are obviously higher if you having some white genes yourself.

[Jersey2]

Cheaper to just screw a like minded Irish guy. There are some that want to be dads and some that will agree to not be involved in the child’s life if you want. My son would be a match, he has a Master’s degree as well in a STEM. Anyway, guys like that are around.

[Asker]

Yes that would be great. If the guy asked me if I want him to be in the child's life, then yes is my answer. I don't mind if he wants to be a dad. I think that would be great.

[CateM]

It might be a little difficult to find a sperm donor with all of those traits. Me personally, I'd pick one whose family doesn't have a history of mental illness, cancer, etc (If his family had a history of lung cancer from smoking but he doesn't smoke, then that's fine). But the bottom line is, who you choose as a sperm donor is your prerogative and nobody can tell you otherwise

[Asker]

True. I find those men so handsome. I figure I'll be giving my baby the best genes.

[Adaeva]

It is the nature of women to do what is best for their child by selecting the best available genes. During the 3 million year long Stone Age, women would mate with a good provider and when ovulating would have sneaky sex with the Alpha male. Women that did not select the best genes for their eggs when there was a low risk of discovery by her mate are not our ancestors.

[Asker]

You're only 14 and know your basic biology. Yeah that seems accurate. I don't know of any women that says ''I want my child to be short and dark, I'll mix with a 5'6 dark skinned man''.

It's different than I'm not going after love, not seeking a relationship but rather the best genes for my child.

[Fireguy17]

yes it is.
Your child is here for a very long time, so you want the best for them.

[Asker]

True, esp if I'm going to be paying for it.

[Fireguy17]

and paying and paying...
But you have every right to make sure of your choice.
If you had a partner, you probably would also have been picky about that choice as most of us are.
this decision should be made with the same due diligence.

[Berethor]

Racism? heightism? who cares? you want the best looking traits for you child and it okay.

[Asker]

Yup that chart is accurate. As a Latina women, I only like two groups of men; either other latinos that aren't too dark or white men... no other. I'm simply not attracted to blacks, never was.

[Berethor]

Yea the chart is accurate, good that you honest, political correctness is not honest.

[Boromir]

You go girl, it’s your call. You can for once go ‘Full Darwin’ w/o any compromise, seize the occasion. Get the best stuff for your eggs and future child.

[Asker]

yeah if I'm going to pay for it, then it better be with the best genes and the guy better be fit and healthy.
It's interesting how biological evolution is applying right here; we looking out to mate with a man with the best genes, tall and fit.

[Boromir]

Yup, and in normal relations it’s always an trade off between good genes and personality that goes with yours. Here you can select all, I’m surprised to see other woman are not as picky as you.

[Berethor]

Is it natural selection or selective breeding? well don't matter, as it's your choice.

[LittleSally]

No, of course not.

But saying that, you would rather go for looks than perfect health? Please think about health first.

[Asker]

I'm going for all, looks, health and fitness. I want my baby to have the best genes.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

If you are paying for it picky you can be & if you don’t want to pay for it just find a freelance sperm donor.

[Asker]

Yes, I want to pay for it. Though even if I had regular sex, I think the fact that I'm selecting my donor and not looking for love, I still have to be picky.
I can't just go for any freelance sperm donor, esp if he's short or indigenous; features that don't get my baby with the best genes.

[Iron_Man]

They don’t look like athletes do you want to find a person that’s athletically got it going on very well coordinated and that looks good a big strong man you don’t want a weak skinny 160 pound guy

[Iron_Man]

You also want him to be intelligent?

[Asker]

well yes I would want my baby to have the best genes, attractive, intelligent, tall, white, athletic, etc.

[Iron_Man]

Make sure you screen them out real well look for height, big bones, muscle mass find out about intelligence and I just look at their facial structure and check into their health history and see if they have a clean record

[Asker]

Thank you. I will

[Iron_Man]

Good luck to you

[Levin]

I mean, go with who you want.

But I guess you're picking amongst a bunch of fellows who wanked into a cup for 10£.

[Guy13]

Genetic helix 🧬 is more important than photography. Mental and physical issues, etc.

[Asker]

I want my baby to have all the good genes. Off course I want that donor to be physically and mentally healthy too. That way my baby would be having the best genes.

[Jamie05rhs]

So your kid is not only going to be white (bottom of the totem pole in the Intersectional Grievance Olympics), but they will also not have a father.
Really setting them up for a life of success there.

[jshm2]

You are unlikely to get pregnant regardless. You will fail the psych evaluation.

[Asker]

When I get pregnant and birth give, I'll post it and laugh in your face.

[Anonymous]

I guess. But I don't know why it would matter to you. I mean you're not going to love the child less because he don't come out the way you want, right? Because if so maybe you should do both of you a favor and skip the procedure altogether.

[Asker]

I'll love my child regardless of how they come. Though there is a higher chance of having a white child with recessive genes if I get impregnated by a pure white dude than by an indigenous or half white latino guy.

[Avicenna]

Yes, it's perfectly fine to be picky about that

[magiusX26]

its very ok. this is supposed to be part of a person's criteria in dating as far as biological wiring goes.

[Anonymous]

It would be nice if at least a few of you were making conscious choices.

[Asker]

I stupidly stayed in 2 dead-ends going nowhere for too long. I suck at the vetting process badly and yeah I'm now stuck in this position.
I'm not the case of the woman that slept around in her youth. I'm actually someone that wasted time in 2 failed relationship not leading to marriage ever.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok and yet you can have children any time you want and you can take your pick of donors, you can even lie and trick a man into paying for you child.

How about you consider for a moment what your situation would be if you were male?

[Asker]

Yes both genders have their own struggles in the world.

[Opinion Owner]

lol

Not even close.

[Anonymous]

Choosing to have a fatherless child is one of the most selfish things a woman can do.

[Asker]

If I can afford it, provide my child all love and get the best genes for him (the guy would obviously be healthy, fit and good in mental state too) then there is no harm done.
You understand we have a limited time to have our own biological kids don't you? Stupid would be going through all the dating process again, establish a relationship, fall in love and by the time (if it even happens) my marriage proposal comes I'll be already 39 or 40 years old, killing my fertile years, my chance to get pregnant. Now that would be stupid, sacrificing my fertility for the sake of finding love.

[Asker]

There is no age to find love nor marriage but there is a limited time for a woman to have kids.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for proving my point. It's obvious you are making a choice for purely selfish reasons without giving a thought to how that choice will harm your child. It's a well known fact that fatherless children are at far higher risk of a long list of problems. Many of those children are fatherless through no fault of the mother, but a woman who makes the deliberate, conscious choice to bring a child into the world know it will be without a father is incredibly selfish.

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U. S. Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.

85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26)

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)

Father Factor in Education – Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.

Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Why wouldn't it be?

[Anonymous]

Are you white yourself?

[Asker]

My comments obviously keeps erasing. Anyways no I'm not but if this is to select a sperm donor, then yes I'm going to be picky even if he's of a different race. I don't want someone of my same type.

[Opinion Owner]

Please just adopt a white baby.

[Asker]

I find it hilarious how some of you people try to get us to adopt as the first resort, even if we're still fertile and can have a biological child.
If I couldn't give birth ok understandable but I'm still fertile. I want to give birth, to experience labor, the pain and all that. I'm ready for all that.

[Asker]

If I'm still fertile then I'm not going to miss out on the natural moment of giving birth.

[Opinion Owner]

But you are old. You are giving the baby a risk of autism or something else

[Asker]

My mother was a bit older than me (so was my grandmother when she gave birth to my aunt, her last child; she was 39/40... older than me) when she had my younger brother and he doesn't have autism nor any disorder. I think nowadays with advanced medicine, doctors can do a better job in screening abnormalities early on.

[Asker]

We have no one in the family (well none that I can think of) suffering from autism nor any mental disorders.

[Christoff92]

Yes can be.