Why do people get criticized for forgiving and praised for forgiving?

[ChicanaChick]

I admit to being guilty of doing this but my stance have soften up by now. Even though I'm an atheist, I've realized forgiving is actually being the stronger person and it's for your own peace, to live a healthy life. Not forgiving or getting revenge is actually being childless and weak; that's not assertive, that's not alpha.

So seriously, if someone was wronged but still wants to forgive, why do people advice him/her against it? The person is asking specifically for how to work things out and the ones replying give me the total opposite advice.

In comparison, someone that decides not to forgive or takes revenge... all of the sudden more people praise that reaction, that behavior. Many even say ''I would do the same thing''. Why? Are we humans unforgiving and vengeful by nature? Why is being unforgiving praised and being forgiving criticized?

Updates

10 mo

Correction:
Why do people get criticized for forgiving and praised for NOT forgiving?

[lightbulb27]

It's all in the view of the perceiver... whom is controlled by "where they are coming from inside".

If they are from a place of positive energy (love, joy), then forgiving looks like strength. I've seen this in a video and can try to find, but it is inspiring to see a person have strength to forgive that would challenge me.

If they are coming from a negative source, then forgiving looks like weakness, revenge and paybacks looks good.

This is a critical issue in the division between religions and I suggest you look there to understand the true "god" underneath them. Look at what is taught and you should see. Thus there is a clear better choice to me, of what I know.

Imagine... President GW Bush on 9/12/2001 saying "We forgive those whom attacked us"!!! Whoea... he never said that!!! That blow peoples minds wouldn't it, it sound like stupidity to most and goodness to others.

Note that forgiveness has some parameters to it as well... I think... The Bible talks about forgiving not 7 times but 7x70 (or so)... in other words... a a lot:)! Dang that gets tough when you are in pain. But that alone, would prevent a lot of chaos in society... especially when implemented quickly and with other compassions. Just look at the things that go better, if we could respond better. Training is a major factor. I cannot judge fully, wasn't there, but my impression is, prevent Neely's death, help him to recover, it save several lives and a lot of suffering and subsequent suffering (imagine if the verdict is not guilty... more pay the price). This is the problem with humans broken emotional condition, trauma creates more trauma.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/06/14/us/daniel-penny-indicted-jordan-neely-chokehold/index.html

Didn't say any of it is easy though...

I give Praise to Jesus for solving it long ago.

[Sixgunsound]

Because the system is so set against anything that was oart of thd old western tradition, such as the Christian based by no means exclusive concept of forgiveness. That might seem like a stupid hill to die on but if you visualize western traditions like Jenga game blocks, it makes more sense that pulling any of them out has an equal chance of being the one that sends the whole tower crashing down, so all must be fought against with equal fervor.

[Sixgunsound]

Thanks for MHO

[boggboss]

Saying I would do the same thing is not praising that behaviour lol and yes its more human for example somebody raped or beat up my sibling to get revenge then saying I forgive u

[ChicanaChick]

I think the human can be capable of forgiving even extreme cases but yes it definitely takes a very strong person to do that. Getting revenge is actually giving in to emotions and being weak but yeah that's an extreme case.
Then this leads me to conclude that indeed very few humans are strong.

[ChicanaChick]

So technically a person can forgive if they he/she wanted to.

[boggboss]

Yes vary few humans are strong thats why I stated its more human people as a whole are not virtues or pias yes we have the capability of it bit most are not or won't take that road

[boggboss]

Yes anyone can but I would never forgive someone who did something wild like that to someone I love no matter how much stronger it seemed

[ChicanaChick]

In the Shanda Sharer murder case for instance, a 12 year-old girl was brutally murdered. The mother forgave the main ringleader and even gave her a dog. Strong woman and mother indeed. So technically nothing is objectively unforgivable, just subjectively.

www.wave3.com/.../

[boggboss]

Good for her I guess lol

[ChicanaChick]

Personally that would be too much for me to handle if I were a mother but to each their own. If that woman found peace in her heart and life to forgive that, who are we to judge her for making that choice?

[boggboss]

Anyone can judge lol it dont matter to her what my opinion would be but if I was asked I would state what I thought

[Billlewis]

You're an atheist? That's awesome -- me, too:)

[ChicanaChick]

Cool

[Billlewis]

Maybe if I'm good, you'll consider following me... because I love your style:)

[EaterPeter]

Forgiveness is for self more than anyone else

[ChicanaChick]

Yes and it's a way to not live with the anger nor bitterness anymore. Too many people thinking being unforgiving is showing strength and that forgiving is being a weak beat, getting stepped on but actually it's always been the opposite.
It takes no effort giving in to your emotions/feelings (being a prisoner of that), reacting and not forgiving and being vengeful. That takes no effort at all.
However, forgiving and being the bigger person takes effort and it's something few people are capable of doing. Fewer people are indeed strong.

[ChicanaChick]

Most people reach a limit that they can't pass by, can't proceed. Few people are able to override that limit, forgive and still be the better person.