Does relocation cause short term sadness?

Question

After leaving my old city, I find nights to be sad.

My mom supported me to move, saying a person like me should move places often, because I get too attached to things and find hard to let go.

I thought I kind of kept that trait of myself in the past, after all I have left my real home snd have never felt too sad about it.

Why do I feel lonely and sad now that I relocated? Nothing changed really. Other than I left a city, which I considered my home for almost 5 years.

But at 22, I left a city where I lived for 22 years, so I don’t understand why would I feel so sad at night in this new city?

That must be something that accompanies relocation, right?

I am sure it will go away, I am just surprised, because I felt quite happy mostly. But the strange evening sadness crawled up on me.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

There were two apartments that I was sad to leave.

One was a condo in Long Beach, Ca. that I was renting from the owners. It was on the third floor at the end of a hall with a big window. Picture a Marriott Hotel. Next to my apartment was a stairwell. Next to that was the laundry room. And next to that was the elevator. So everything was convenient and there was no noise through the walls from adjoining neighbors.
I really liked the interior of that condo.
Outside my balcony was a grassy courtyard with beautiful landscaping and a big jacaranda tree with a huge crown that was like a floating garden just below me.
There was a really nice swimming pool and a gym.
There were really good restaurants and lots of attractions in Long Beach and nearby Los Angeles.

I moved out when I got married. I was a bit sad leaving that haven, but I was more excited to be starting a new life.

My wife and I rented an apartment in Redondo Beach for about a year. But I loved the one we moved to next. The living room and kitchen had a gorgeous view of the Pacific Ocean, Catalina Island and sunsets.
At the end of the quiet street was the Fort McArthur military museum complex and Angels Gate Park with it's Korean Bell of Friendship and basketball courts.

Does relocation cause short term sadness?

And an easy walk down the hill was Point Fermin Park with its 1874 wooden lighthouse.

People flew remote control gliders on the edge of the bluffs, and there were tidal pools below.

Both of those places were in the general area where I had grown up and spent my life, so I was near my family and my wife and I were near our friends. And again, the food and attractions were excellent.

After my mom died, my wife and I relocated 400 miles north to a rural area and bought our home. I was sad to leave my family, friends, and the place I had known all my life. I missed botanical gardens, world-class museums and attractions, the beach cities and the ocean and, most of all, my favorite restaurants.

I was super happy and excited with my new home in the country with a view. I love it!
But I was also kind of homesick. We used to drive down to visit regularly, but those trips became less frequent.

I still miss that area at times, but it has changed a lot, and not for the better. And the traffic is horrendous.

So now I am content and I just look back at my life in Southern California with nostalgia.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

I have done a lot of traveling, and also a fair bit of moving. Somewhere around 20-30 countries, maybe a 4-6 of them I spent more than 3 months and a few over a year. In the US, I've lived in about 6-8 places for more than a year, and maybe about the same number just for 3-6 months.

I got some depression one time traveling in Panama and I thought about it. Normally traveling creates some excitement and wonder for me, to be in a new place, with new people, it's energizing and stimulating. But I think it got to me, all the memories of so many times the same pattern of arriving, making new friends, having adventures, but then moving to a new place and leaving those friends and memories.

It could maybe be compared to one night stands vs. long term relationships. It feels good in the moment, but as a person who desires deeper intimate connections, it can feel hollow if it doesn't progress to something lasting.

For me, there is a mix. It's some sadness about missing the old place, and some excitement about the new place. When I was in Brazil, my Brazilian friend who traveled with me said that I was a homebody and she saw a pattern in me. I would enjoy a place we went to, and I would get more attached and not want to leave. But then when we did leave, I would love the new place and start to get attached and not want to leave again. There will be some sadness and joy no matter what, wherever you go, at least in my experience.

ShesRad80 · Accepted Answer

the official term is being "homesick"

WindAtMyBack · Answer

It depends on the person, and where they are in life. I used to move around a LOT. There was a time when I moved eleven times in two years. Plus a lot more moves at other times in my life.

I actually liked doing it for a while. I liked the adventure, experiencing new and different places, doing different kinds of work, meeting people, etc. But after a while it got old. I started to feel like I didn't have a home. I started to build up a weird kind of anxiety. It's like the place I was at didn't feel right, and none of the other places I had lived felt right either.

I think almost everyone should have a place that feels like home to them. I've probably lived in at least 30 different places, but only two of them felt like home.

"I get too attached to things and find hard to let go"

It's not bad to get attached to things unless it affects you negatively somehow.

Is your sadness really because of your location? Or does your location just remind you that your past is really in the past?

JackCarter · Answer

Understandable and relatable!
My dad used to have transfers in his job every 5-6 years.. and I would feel short term sadness every time
It's completely normal... just give yourself a rest for a week and explore your new surroundings... slowly things get back to normal...

molonski2 · Answer

Yeah , I think its difficult even when its a small move , there are all those little things you know around that address , that's not to say the new place isn't better or worse , its just different , I've been in my Condo here for 6 years ( 3 of them a Covid deal , which in one way way bliss ) and honestly , I'd hate to move anywhere , even around the corner , because I'm so familiar here , so I think its an understandable reaction.

BigDog1989 · Answer

Homesick. As in, you're still only getting used to the new place, so, you miss the old place, until you finally feel at home in the new one. It's like a new guy/girl whatever you date. When you break up with someone. You miss them, you get with someone new, and you forget all about the ex. Or well, you SHOULD

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

In life we all need a change from time to time & after you relocate the sadness will go away over time & after you find your way you’ll be fine.

Always make sure you have a job in the new area before you relocate.

ibodi · Answer

Those were part of you what collapsed is the shape of old home. Existentialists always struggle from empty to make sure what they want to be.

loveslongnails · Answer

It's perfectly natural to feel "alone and lonely" in a new place, especially if you're an attention sponge. :) Once you get to know some people and activities you can enjoy with new friends, you'll feel lots better.

BlackJeep · Answer

When my marriage ended I got a dog then moved across country where I had no friends to start a business. My dog saved me a lot of lonely nights. I don't think I would've made it without her

SnowedIn · Answer

Both short and long term sadness.  That's a real thing.

Sparkie460 · Answer

You do get sad for a little while. It's perfectly normal. You'll start making new friends and then you will start to feel better about being in your new surroundings

justabuddy · Answer

You are not alone. I miss certain things about college, my old apartment, being a kid. These emotions creep up on you.  I have learned that life is super interesting that way.

exitseven · Answer

If you miss the people that lived there it is understandable.

Andres77 · Answer

You’re finding your new normal. Having to fill your mind with new memories.

spartan55 · Answer

I thought you moved like 15 minutes from your past place?

msc545 · Answer

Yes, it does very often.

EaterPeter · Answer

Yes it can be long term too

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

You can always go home, right?

Awantika03 · Answer

Yes, it is

eagle1951 · Answer

some times

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah

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