Why do they say ''It takes a real man to apologize''?

Question

What about when we make mistakes or wrong others? I've seen those quotes before and it seems bias, as if women aren't capable of apologizing. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong and will admit it.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Thank you for pointing this out.

There is the false belief that women are generally more thoughtful and “nice” and have no problem apologizing. They do say “sorry” more but they saying “sorry”’doesn’t mean you are always mean you are sincerely apologizing.

Anyway admitting fault doesn’t mean you are admitting defeat. There is nothing worse when two people both know that one person did wrong but the guilty person refuses to own up to it out of ego. As if denying facts will make it magically go away.

Now what I am going to say may come off as sexist but it is just from my life experience. I have only had women apologize to me when there was still something still in it for them (they still liked me, still needed something, still wanted my attention, worried about what they looked like in front of other people, etc.). But once a woman has decided I am no longer of value to her then I am now completely expendable. She doesn’t feel the need to apologize not matter how obvious it was that she did was wrong. In her mind I’m not even human anymore. Just an apparition. A bad memory. Possibly a “threat” she needs to ward off and avoid at all costs. She doesn’t care about treating me like a human being out of general principle.

However I am not above apologizing to a woman that offers me no value otherwise when I know I did wrong. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have feelings for her, don’t need her for anything, etc. She’s a human being and I recognize that despite not caring to be associated with her otherwise.

Also apologizing to someone (when you know you did wrong) doesn’t always necessarily give someone else “false hope” in an ending relationship. You can put in context by saying “hey don't get the wrong idea but I want to own up about being wrong about such and such. I am truly sorry for it."

I know I had one ex in particular completely blow this out of the water a few years ago. What she said to me at tbe end haunted me for years. She meant it too. It wasn't said in a moment of anger.

But she wasn’t the first or last woman to do that to me. But I truly believed she would be an exception to the rule I stated above. She wasn’t. Not by a long shot.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

The difference between a boy and a man is that a man takes on responsibilities.

Responsibility does not end with taking care of one’s own bills — it extends to everything in a man’s life.

His character, his career, his relationships, his family, his achievements or lack thereof.

A man who takes on responsibility when he is wrong, is a man who has maturity.

Doing so will also earn him respect.

If he takes responsibility for the mistakes of those under his charge, he will gain even more respect.

A Navy Seal squad commander doesn’t blame his team when something goes wrong — he takes full responsibility. It’s the mark of a true leader.

Boys don’t understand this. They run away from responsibility. They cower at responsibility. And they wonder why nobody respect them.

Real men take responsibility.

That means apologizing, when it’s appropriate to apologize.

This isn’t to say that women can’t apologize or be responsible.

The phrase you shared is usually directed to a man to keep a man in check — to confront a man who isn’t taking responsibility for his actions, when he should.

madhatters4 · Answer

because there was a time or at least a culture where in raising men the trope was "men do not say sorry". so as a method to try and counter that sexist notion the phrase 'it takes a real man to apologize', as in a man really connected with the humanity in him rather than the one who has been taught to believe that they should never admit being wrong

the statement isn't really about women being unable to apologize but rather addressing what men had been taught was a characteristic of being a tough man for so long

Jdodkfndosn · Answer

I don't know what to say to that. Apologies are good when absolutely warranted and not by using the word sorry at all. Rather, by identifying the issue, explaining how they see it wasn't right, and stating how they'll ensure it doesn't repeat, or is made right. The word Sorry should be removed from the dictionary.
It is the most useless word and lacks a showing of any kind of actual remorse.

But back to the original point at hand, I don't quite agree with the use of it taking a real man, as If men are so incapable of apologizing

It is a well known fact that women lack accountability.

Constatine · Answer

No it is because most men don't want or can't apologize... It takes a lot of energy to admit they are wrong... Maybe they think they are less men if they do.

But no.. You are a real man if you can say

I am sorry... I was wrong.

Because then they accept the fact it does not make them less.. ( or something)

Anonymous · Answer

You’re not wrong. I think a lot of these things come from women. A lot of women like to play on a man’s masculinity by saying stupid things like this. It makes me laugh when women say things like this. As if they were a man at one time. Sure a girl could say well I was never a man but my dad did these things. Ok good but your dad may not fit my definition of what a man is. I spent 10 years in the military. I could easily say well a real man would serve in the military. Imagine if I said something like well a real woman would get in the kitchen and cook. Could you imagine the shit I’d catch for that. It’s only women who really come up w these ridiculous things. Like independent women. You mean a grown up? A lot of times women use these to excuse their behavior or to make men feel bad for their decisions cause they don’t like it. Men automatically are wrong because women’s feelings trump everything else.

magiusX26 · Answer

honestly, more often than not, women tend to shift the blame to others for their own mistakes and try changing the subject when they are wrong (and forced to see that they are wrong). does not mean all women or every time, but often enough to be mentioned about for many generatuons and centuries, across most cultures (in varying degrees) . a more common way these days is via comedic jokes and skits. is also part of the root thought proces behind other quotes such as "happy wife, happy life".

SunnyRS · Answer

This quote is not for women, it is based on men and for men only.
Men are social creatures who are powered on their testosterones so most of us get defensive when it comes to apologizing and don't do it.
That's why this saying was made to make men realize that asking for forgiveness is a humongous task and it requires a real man who can control is testosterone and think from his mind.
Women are more logical creatures and they can apologize if they know they are wrong so this doesn't apply to them.
Please don't turn this into something which it is not. It has got nothing to do with being man or woman.

Longshanks1968 · Answer

You are correct, it takes a real person to apologize.
And an apology should never be followed by a “but”.
And the action or inaction that the apology refers to should never be repeated

In my opinion, the saying calls out men cause a lot of men lack the ability to see the wrongs they do to others and the sensitivity to understand how their actions or inactions affect others.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

You can’t grow if you can’t admit mistakes. Becoming a man requires growing from a boy. It takes gonads to apologize. Much respect to the ladies on here who have apologized, you know who you are.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Because it takes a grown up to listen, hear what the other is saying, and be vulnerable to the other, make amends or right or work to avoid doing the same.

It's a lot easier to be hard headed... that doesn't take effort.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/R4fXB32uybY

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The only people who say "it takes a real man to apologize" are women who are usually wrong, but think they are always right.
So they target the guy, and try to put him down unless he apologizes, by attempting to make him feel like "less of a man" if he doesn't apologize (even though he did nothing wrong, and she's the one who owes him an apology).

Thats the usual context for that.

Yannae · Answer

It has to do with society painting us as the leader. In a traditional relationship, the man leads. And a good leader can acknowledge that he's made a mistakes and owns up to it. Today there are less traditional people all around so that saying is now changed into "It takes maturity or courage or strength to apologize." No need to paste a gender on it anymore.

ohmyguy · Answer

Well truly a real man does nothing he expects to apologizing for later.. cause his primary motivation is to govern his actions in accordance with the righteous sensibilities of distinguished personalities one emulates in order exude extraordinary.. a class above status from all... so all in all all claims of such nature... one can easily fake..

Fireguy17 · Answer

Many people, both male and females have a hard time admitting when they are wrong. So you made a mistake, we all do, no one is perfect.  Admit it and move on.

nonyabeez-wax · Answer

Because men are supposed to be responsible adults. An inability to admit when they are wrong, and apologize for either their behavior, or actions, is a sign of immaturity, or "boy behavior".

It really has nothing to do with women.

exitseven · Answer

I imagine that it is very hard for a guy to apologize if he is wrong. I couldn't tell you because I am never wrong.

loveslongnails · Answer

Because men don't like to admit they're wrong, even when they are, and don't handle it very well.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Because most men never apologize for anything they do. They always have petty excuses for every mistake they make.

jahaims · Answer

You are taking it too literally. That saying just implies a person is mature when they can admit to their mistakes.

Tomisworthless · Answer

A weak man can never fall on his sword because the burden would destroy him. A strong man can be vulnerable and grow and not be crushed by his past

genericname85 · Answer

cause most likely, if you're a little bitch, you don't have the character it takes to admit to being wrong and be sorry about it.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

That's not what it means. It means that a man who is worth his salt will apologize for mistakes, not that women can't apologize.

BLP11520 · Answer

Well men used to not admit wrong or failure so apologies were a big thing. I know people who never admit being wrong which is a red flag

Anonymous · Answer

Quote is probably from early 1900s when Women were literally ignored  Also maybe because Men have greater ego so it's harder for them to apologize

Anonymous · Answer

Because for some reason women aren't held accountable for their actions. Most people just think women are perfect regardless of how shitty some are.

Archferret · Answer

why its only real men, not real women?

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Most men are pussies and evade accountability.

DaBiggestBird · Answer

It takes a Giga Chad to ask for forgiveness

Why do they say ''It takes a real man to apologize''?

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