What's the deal with incels?

[CaptainSmartass]

There seems to be quite a few incel-related questions lately, so I thought I'd add my own. What's their deal?

Just because they can't get their end away doesn't entitle them to be massive jerks. What's the deal with them wanting compulsory dating and for everyone to be paired up with somebody? Like, how does that work. Obviously, its a non-starter, but how would they go about implementing it?

[Chazmatazz269]

I’m not sure what you’re suggesting is actually happening altruistically. If it is, how is it any different than trans people insisting that there should be laws requiring people to date them?
It all reads of hyperbole to me. Social media has made attention whores of a lot of people, maybe the loneliest among us the most.
Is ridicule and demeaning really the right way to go? I think not. A couple of people have suggested that “they just need to change everything about themselves” and “learn to talk to women”. Ell oh ell! What if they like themselves? They like themselves and we have to hear and read almost every woman suggest “Looks don’t matter. Money doesn’t matter. I just want a nice guy with a good sense of humor.”
So these guys are nice and they’ve got jokes. No sale. But let’s examine the rhetoric further. What do we all think of “dating coaches” and the types of men who use them? Aren’t dating coaches misogynists? Aren’t their customers losers and rapists? Ell oh ell!
Who are these lonely men supposed to turn to? YOU aren’t helping. The women are lying to their faces. It’s just more bullying. You think you’re better than someone else and you’re going to rub their nose in it. Likely when they’re at their lowest. And we wonder why men kill themselves so often. Good on ya, big men! Way to be the stand-up males y’all want us to think you are!

[ZackBan]

It's hard to have any respect or empathy for a group of people that are total defeatist unwilling to even try changing their circumstances in life.

Some other comments brought it up, but I think the culture of handing out participation trophies and telling kids that everyone is owed a victory in life is very detrimental.
It builds up a certain ego in people and a sense of entitlement.

And the solution is not even a secret.
The gym, the shower, the style, the grooming.
Anyone can do it but only if they're willing to put in the hours working on their own image

[mandyfire98]

People upset they aren't getting whatever they want whenever they want so they're lashing out.

[Sonorous]

I think the people you're describing are more than just incels. I imagine not all who are called incel have such totalitarian views. And that just the extreme minority do.

[normalice]

Pretty much any time there is some trend online that doesn't make a lot of sense to be a trend, you should assume it is being financed. And to figure out who is funding the feeding frenzy for online incels, just look at who benefits from them: QAnon, the far right, Russia, etc..

[Billlewis]

I consider myself a 'good incel', because I could have intercourse with a fairly attractive woman if I really wanted to, but I tend to treat women much better when I'm not getting any, so I prefer to be kept sexually frustrated by the women whom I date/serve.

[SolitarySolace]

I think incels are just misunderstood and the overabundance of negativity they face for being labeled an incel takes a toll on their mental state. So it isn’t inherently they themselves who are the problem it’s the people who are attacking them leading them into a downward spiral of hopelessness and frustration. A lot of men who are labeled incels don’t even want to have a relationship with a woman by choice not because they simply can’t find anyone. At the end of the day what other people think of incels really doesn’t matter. They’re just being assholes to men for the sake of being assholes to men

[Anonymous]

No woman should be rejecting men for having Autism or because of his looks and i would not allowing it. These women are also hypocrites because they stop men for going with younger women and then think they should be allowed to be with bad guys.

[genericname85]

incels don't exist. it's people claiming "they want to have sex but can not have sex without any fault of their own", yet they don't do what's necessary to even get sex in the first place. so my hot take is: there are no "incels". just whiny bitches who love complaining.

[exitseven]

I don't know, I did not even know what an incel was before I got on this site.

[Anonymous]

Compulsory dating is because they were bought up with participation awards so everyone got a prize and don't like the fact that in the real world it's isn't like that

[OddBeMe]

It’s more a frustration than a movement nowadays I think. I feel like it all could be solved by learning to talk to women.

[Kingofkings1992]

Incels Don’t exist. Self victimizing, self destructing crybaby men do.

[msc545]

@Kingofkings1992 Honorable men don't shame and ridicule other men like you are doing here.

[Kingofkings1992]

No, I’m doing the opposite. I don’t like the word incel or anyone who uses it.

[msc545]

Not using the word doesn't solve the problem these guys have, sadly.

[handsomelad70]

They're very few in number, but somehow how influential.

[msc545]

Nobody really asks for the things you mentioned.