When did the magic end for you?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

It could be for anything.

What did you believe in something that ended in being not what you believed in?

[Anonymous]

The true beginning of middle age for me happened at age 33. My then girlfriend dumped me (which was heartbreaking but I saw it coming). We agreed to keep it friendly. I accepted the break up (it was sad but not angry). She left me under her impression that we would still have a mutual respect for each other.

Then two weeks later when met up for business purposes. I kept it out small talk and professional. However at the end she gave me one the deepest insults I had ever taken from a woman in my life when I told her I missed talking to her.

Up to the point I still had optimism about my romantic future and was a bit idealistic. I still had youthful energy and was adventurous/spontaneous. But I was also admittedly a bit immature and naive at the time. The way she talked me that day forever changed my outlook on romance for the rest of my life. She talked to me like I was less then human in an extremely (and rare) vulnerable moment in my life. It was the only time I ever cried in front of her. Ever.

Anyway that tore apart something very deep inside me. It definitely wasn’t the first time I had a woman say something nasty. But it was coming from someone who I thought fully understood me. She once told me “I was a good man to the core”.

I was never the same after that. It crushed any remaining youthful naivety I had (which was probably good and overdue). However it also made me view women differently when I accepted the ugly reality of the world. I learned the brutal cold hard truth that as a man I am expendable.

Women only value men via their feelings in the moment (they find the guy attractive, he has money/resources, he improves her social optics/standing, etc.). But if he no longer can provide any of those she can (and will) change her opinion of him callously and quickly. He’s now disposable. No remorse. No regrets. No guilt. Men are not “special” just for existing.

As horrible as that was it also gave me a stronger radar and thicker skin when I interacted with future women to keep my guard up.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Never trust a woman's tongue bro.

But it is also nature's course if a man isn't useful or brings skill sets that isn't needed by women they don't care and can be rude sometimes for no reason.

As men we don't have the luxury of being vulnerable you show signs of vulnerability and their goes the respect for you.

And to let out the one deepest insecurity and they will use it in the most cruel way.

It's very rare of a woman to find who will not kick you in the curb at your weakest.

[VIVANT]

Hey come on you two, you’re running into some terrible people, but this isn’t women in general. 🤯

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I didn't say anything lol just don't be vulnerable women don't like that and women always has way with words that could damage a person.

Other than that all jolly good

[Opinion Owner]

“It's very rare of a woman to find who will not kick you in the curb at your weakest.”

And meanwhile we got women like Marilyn Monroe quoting “If you can’t a handle a woman at her worst then you don’t deserve them at their best”.

@vivant “ you’re running into some terrible people, but this isn’t women in general”

Ah I’ve met a lot of women over the course of my life and there is all one thing they have in common: they need men but don’t necessarily want men. There is a difference. And once they no longer need men he’s quickly expendable.

And just for record I am NOT angry at her decision to break up. I accepted that. It was HOW she did it that haunted me for years. How she talked to me.

[razelove]

When I lost my virginity. I still remember it vividly because it was such a fucking let down. Don't get me wrong, it felt really good. It was nowhere near the fantasy I had built up in my head though. Like I'd be pumping, and the pleasure would be so great that it'd be like a chorus of angels trumpeting the pleasure throughout the world focused only on me.

See, I believed the made up tales my friends had said about getting laid. Instead it was like push in, it feels real good, oh, I came already, wtf, no plane flying by with a banner saying "NOW YOU'RE A MAN!"

So overhyped. I didn't have that pussy on a pedestal, it was in the space station. It didn't help that I said out loud "That was it?". She did not like that at all paired with the premature ejaculation.

[Apple1996]

I don't think I ever really felt anything magical happen until I started having kids before that life sucked

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Now babies are sucking on it lol 😂

[EzraIsShy76028]

As soon as I went into kindergarten at 6 years old.

Before that point I thought the world was a magical and nice place where everyone wanted to be your friend.

But at literally the first day of kindergarten... oh boy... the other kids were immediately extremely BRUTAL towards me, both verbally and physically. And the teacher literally didn't give a shit. She was literally like "kids will be kids" and "boys will be boys."

From that day forward I was never optimistic and/or enthusiastic ever again.

[VIVANT]

😢 😞

[EzraIsShy76028]

@VIVANT Yeah... it's lame. Looks like people are already pieces of shit as early as kindergarten. Maybe even as early as pre-school, though fortunately or unfortunately I never really went to pre-school.

[VIVANT]

I was kicked out of pre school for protesting near in my lunch and nap time. I was 4 when I arrived in kindergarten and yeah kids were r ok and the teacher was evil, school was not my friend for quite some time.

By the time I got on well with kids I guess it would’ve been middle school but I had to leave school bc of home problems.

I think it’s disgusting the way school admin would treat bullied as normal and the kids getting bullied as problematic.

There are so many ways to solve bullying early on without making anyone stand out I mean at best they might lecture kids on why being mean is bad which does not solve bullying and alienates the kid being bullied.

Making sure kids learn how to work together for shared goals early on I think is a really good preventative. And switching groups up constantly to avoid cliques. And rewarding camaraderie while penalizing anti social behavior. Making anti social behavior abnormal.

Anyhow the problem is little assholes grow up to be big assholes but the template little kids are looking up to us all based on selfishness and greed which contradicts the lip service kids are fed about sharing and dating.

When adults are out for themselves that’s what kids learn as a life lesson unless they are actively living differently… words are nothing if not backed up by participation in discovery.

I’m sorry you had a crap experience I think is common. 💚

[EzraIsShy76028]

@VIVANT Ah yeah. Looks like the shit started in pre-school for you. Sorry to hear! Evil teachers are especially bad, since usually they're supposed to be the ones helping you the most in the first place!

Ah yeah, when there's no school problems then there's home problems, eh? Sounds like you just can't win or ever catch a break regardless.

And YES! THANK YOU! I hate the whole thing of making the victims be punished instead of the perpetrators in the first place! I think you see this even outside of school though. People who practiced self-defense against a threatening dangerous person being punished just because they defended themselves.

And YES! There definitely needs to be ways to solve bullying early on! Otherwise those same kids will grow up to be cruel teenagers and even crueler adults!

All three of the solutions you suggested sound perfect honestly! You at age 26 years old sound like you would be a MUCH more competent teacher if you ever decided to become one than the teachers I've had who were all in their 40s and 50s, and it wouldn't even be close. Goes to show being older doesn't make you smart and being younger doesn't make you dumb, eh? Those 40 and 50 year old teachers weren't doing SHIT against bullying.

And yup... little assholes grow up to be big assholes alright, lol. And yeah, that about the template little kids and lip service kids is also so true! And yeah. Sharing and dating too!

And yeah. Words mean zero if not backed up by any sort of participation! And yeah. Teaching kids important life lessons early on is important!

And yeah, it's fine. You've seem to have gone through a lot as well! And I'm sorry for that. But at least you seem to be a really nice person, despite having gone through so much! And that's an accomplishment I would say. A lot of people would've become mean and hateful and wanting revenge. We must both try to spread positivity into a world full of almost nothing but hate. Haha. 💙

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Kindergarten revolutionaries

[EzraIsShy76028]

Eh, I guess you could say that? Lol

[Aakash_Hangargi]

😜😆🤣

[VIVANT]

@EzraIsShy76028 thank you 🙏

@Aakash_Hangargi“k

indergarten revolutionaries” 😂 😅💚

[EzraIsShy76028]

@VIVANT Haha. No problem! 😄

And thanks for following me as well! I sent a follow request to you too, haha. I usually don't use the follow function that much but I genuinely really enjoyed reading your insightful responses!

[Friendlybro79]

When I was about 7 I realized Santa was bs is when it started. That wasn't it but around that time I realized I was sort of alone. My mom kept me from feeling completely alone but she wasn't able to stop him unfortunately. My dad who I looked up to and wanted to be with every second could became my bully, didn't protect me, made me feel less than human and tried to chop me down until I would break almost daily for a while. I had to learn paths that would cause me the least amount of trauma by learning how to weave through figurative hooks and jabs, knowing I was going to get hit from time to time, but if I was smart, I could avoid knock out punches to my self esteem and soul.

I still don't understand it. One day life was great and it seemed like the next I was in an alternate time line where my dad wanted to make me feel like a paramecium.

[Friendlybro79]

So what i ultimately stopped believing in was that I was loved and capable of being anything. I somehow made it out and I give myself a lot of credit for not turning to drugs or worse.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

You chose the right path

[nolabels]

For me, the magic ended the day my wife and I arrived home from our honeymoon vacation.
Why did I stay for 30+ years?
Reasons.

Sorry to bring forth a downer response, but that's my truth.

Cheers to you.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

No problemo truth is truth

[paledreams]

Probably like most people - adult life gives many benefits and no more homework however bills and expenses add up - the magic ended probably how little things from mythologies fading though to the reality of you know anything - being humbled 📚📖

[paledreams]

Working a dead end job/s also build character :)

[Telekinetic-Potato]

That's hard. I don't know if that's really happened to me. I think maybe it's more accurate to say my perspective shifted on my beliefs

[Sevenpointfive]

when i realized that giving a girl an orgasm wasn't enough to keep her. i mean wtf more does she want?

[Texaskid1]

When Humpty Dumpty died.

Never forget.

[BobbieBoy666]

Santa is real person all you have to do is believe. 💕

[art84]

When my grandfather passed and not understood what death was as a 7 year old. I always though people never died in life.

[Ladsin2]

End? Why should it end? Blessed every day I'm above ground.

[Jltakk]

I believed I could live a quiet life in an apartment, that dream died years ago.

[LiamJHayden]

It hasn't. Life is a wonder.

[Walksbehindtherows]

There is no such thing as magic

[paledreams]

Though never tempt fate , under ladders, stepping on foot cracks, 😆

[captain_voidwalker]

Never believed in magic, I'm a man of science

[chocolatetwopointo]

at like 9

[TheCaller]

Nope