Anyone else not really affected by other people's deaths much?

[Anonymous]

This is probably gonna sound like a psychopathic (I'll get to that in a minute) thing to say, but I'm not really affected by death much, regardless if it's a random person or someone I'm actually close to.

For the record my grandparents on both sides of the family and my dad have died, and I never really felt anything. And it's not like we were on bad terms or anything, I saw them daily and loved them when they were alive, but when they died I didn't care much. Ditto for when my friends my age died of COVID and other stuff.

For the psychopathic thing, I haven't got any official diagnosis for any mental illnesses I may have, but from research I've done I do see that I'm eerily close to having anti-social personality disorder (ASPD), which basically means psychopath or sociopath. I meet almost all criteria.

I don't have violent fantasies or anything, and I never tortured animals, but I show very little to no emotion. Things that in theory should have a profound emotional reaction to everyone else are just sort of "meh" to me. And this applies to anything and everything.

And I also don't have much of a moral compass besides the very basic don't hurt, rape, torture, or kill people. I don't really see other things like lying, cheating, manipulation, stealing, illegal drugs, pirating, etc, as all that bad. As long as you don't kill anyone you're good in my book, basically.

I myself live a decent life though. I got people I can count on, and they can count on me, and I have a good enough job and house and everything. I contribute to society and seem like a normal person on the outside, and act like it, even though on the inside I may be sort of fucked up. When people die I don't feel much, but I just see it as an opportunity to meet new people.

Anyone else who actually relates to what I wrote most likely also has ASPD, though then again I'm no doctor.

[Anonymous]

Nah. I'm a big softie.

You're most likely a sociopath. It's probably more common than people realize because you don't necessarily have to be a bad person to be a sociopath. Plenty of sociopaths function perfectly well in society and don't hurt anyone.

[Asker]

You're probably 100% correct, let's be real. Even without an official diagnosis when I brought it up to a psychiatrist they were like "I can see that, actually."

[slatyb]

So far I've been the same way. My father was emotionally unavailable so I didn't miss him.

[Asker]

Glad to hear I'm not alone, I suppose. Though for me it's the same whenever a close family member or close friend died as well. Death just doesn't affect me even if I loved the person when they were alive.

[Nikki1989]

Some people have developed toxic coping mechanisms that help them regulate their emotions and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

[Asker]

True, can't argue about that.