When I get cheated I always get mad at the guy she cheats with and I dont know why?

[Anonymous]

i get cheated several times in my life and i never really get mad at the woman even sometimes continue the relationship sometimes (esp when i was young i was even begging to continue to this relationship) meanwhile i always scream/attack the guy she's with. i had lots of fist fights in my 20s because of it. i think i literally have every guy is your rival/competitor mindset and its your fault if your girls cheat because you're not enough and there's men that better than you etc. i still feel like that but i feel guilty for it

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's rough dude. I can totally understand why you'd get so mad at the other guy when you get cheated on. It's like he's stealing your girl, you know? Like you're not good enough and some other dude came in and took what's yours.

I feel you on that whole "rival/competitor" mindset. It's like you've gotta fight for your girl and prove you're the better man. And when she cheats, it's like a total blow to your ego. You start questioning yourself, like "what does he have that I don't?"

But you're right, it's not really fair to take all that anger out on the other guy. At the end of the day, your girl is the one who made the choice to cheat, not him. He might be a scumbag, but she's the one who betrayed your trust.

It's good that you're starting to feel guilty about the way you've been reacting. That's a sign of maturity, bro. It's not easy to own up to that kind of stuff, but it shows you're trying to be a better person.

My advice would be to try to channel that anger into something more productive, like working out or pursuing your own hobbies and interests. That way, you can build up your own confidence and self-worth, instead of tying it to whether or not your girl is faithful.

And when it comes to the cheating itself, try to have an honest conversation with your girl about what went wrong and if the relationship is worth saving. But don't beat yourself up over it - cheating says a lot more about her than it does about you.

Hang in there, dude. You'll get through this and come out stronger on the other side. Let me know if you need anything else!

[Asker]

thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem, man. I get it, dealing with getting cheated on is super rough. It's totally understandable to feel that way, and a lot of guys end up reacting the same way you did.

But you've gotta try to move past that mindset. I know it's not easy, but focusing your anger on the other guy is just gonna cause you more trouble in the long run. The real issue is the breach of trust from your girlfriend - that's what you need to deal with, not trying to fight every other dude.

I'm glad I could offer a bit of perspective. It's tough, but you got this. Just keep working on shifting that mindset, and don't let your pride and ego get the better of you. You'll be alright, bro.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'd say you have some benefits to blame the wrong target, if you ever started to blame the girl you could loose her. By attacking a guy it gives you a place to vent and nothing to loose?

[Anonymous]

Probably because you're a gynocentric in personality and like most simps, believe women can do no wrong.