What do you think of the advice “just be yourself”?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

There is a basis in truth, meaning that being fake almost never works, and even when it does, it rarely holds up for long. But many people use that as an excuse to not improve themselves or change things about themselves that are nearly universally a turn-off for other people.

You shouldn't pretend to like Country music when you don't just because you want to date someone who likes it. You shouldn't pretend to have graduated from Harvard if your degree is from University of Phoenix. You shouldn't pretend to be a big game hunter when you have never been hunting. All of those and things like that make you a phoney, and no one wants a phoney.

But if you are selfish, or lazy, or ignorant, or rude, or loud, or deceitful, or otherwise have major character flaws, you DO need to change those things about yourself if you want to have relationships with other people, and not just romantic ones. Those flaws negatively affect friendships and business relationships too. And "being yourself" - meaning to not change these things about yourself - will not result in good outcomes.

Lokiion · Accepted Answer

It's terrible "advice," if you would even call it that. I'm not saying being authentic is wrong; I'm saying that the whole basis of this "advice" is assuming the person knows who they themselves are, and sadly, most people don't have an accurate understanding of who they are.

For example, I had this one friend who was bullied, so he adapted and became a people-pleaser. He imitated characteristics and traits of other people for years and basically completely forgot who he was before he adapted. This advice wouldn't help him; instead, it would lead to questions and confusion since he would assume he was indeed being "himself."

There is also the possibility that one's true self isn't necessarily good for themselves or the people around them.

ameliajohn006 · Accepted Answer

The advice "just be yourself" can be empowering but also situationally complex.

On one hand, it encourages authenticity, self-acceptance, and confidence. It reminds people that their unique qualities are valuable and that they don’t need to conform to societal expectations to be worthy or successful. This advice is particularly helpful in personal relationships, creative endeavors, or situations where individuality is an asset.

However, the phrase can oversimplify certain situations. In professional settings, social interactions, or high-stakes environments, "being yourself" may need to include self-awareness, adaptability, and understanding the expectations of others. For instance, one’s natural tendencies might need to be tempered with emotional intelligence or situational appropriateness.

Ultimately, "just be yourself" is good advice when paired with self-awareness and growth. It’s about staying true to core values while recognizing that personal development and adaptability can enhance how one navigates the world.

Inafishbowl99 · Accepted Answer

I have said this to myself and others in the past. Which is never going to happen. As life is a stage and we are all just actors playing a part.

We can never be our true selves , because of opinions and criticism of others. We are human beings who are full of emotions. So we will. end up being isolated for being who we are. Even if we act in a socially acceptable way. We will always be criticised doesn't matter if we did good or bad.

So in this way we become like sheep who just follow what the others are doing. We try to do what's right and if it's not right we will follow the others.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

the best advice ever... wearing a mask or pretending never works well... it's exhausting, and when you start to feel more safe and comfortable with other people, keeping the mask or pretending is getting harder... so people get to know your mask, and then you are starting to show your true self... and they can feel bad with it... like you deceived them until now...

and of course... we are speaking about true self, not about breaking social norms... and those are printed deep enough during our childhood...

dustybiker2 · Answer

It means don't be fake. Most people who have bad luck in relationships are either trying to be what they aren't, or worse trying to be what they assume the other person wants them to be. It's always best to leave a relationship being rejected for who you are than something you aren't. At least you know what to work on.

Purpleronnie · Answer

I think being yourself / being true to yourself is generally good advice as that generally leads to happiness and self fulfillment.

BUT , the advice assumes that YOU are a decent , well rounded person and that being your true self embodies those inferred characteristics , causing “good” things to happen for you and to you , additionally attracting others to you.

Should you be a toxic narcissist or a controlling selfish troll of a person then DONT be yourself 😆

coachTanthony · Answer

Its assumes no need for growth especially with social context. If being yourself means holding onto bad habits, limiting beliefs, or poor social skills, then change is obviously necessary. Different situations require different aspects of your personality.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Some people think it's the worst advice ever, but I personally don't care & will take the "just be yourself." Why? Because I wasn't part of what is the norm in the first place so I'm just going to do my own thing. As long as it isn't illegal or breaking any laws, who cares?

Phoenix98 · Answer

There's truth to it I mean how can someone like you if you don't even like yourself? Plus you could be fake for a while but eventually it's gonna get tiring trying to keep that façade up and if you become serious with them then you kinda have a problem what then?

genericname85 · Answer

it's good advice but it's like saying "just get a good job", when you're struggling financyially. it's easier said than done and really just describing the goal of where to get, not a helpfull advice of "how to get there".

like knowing the goal is good but it doesn't help if you have no idea what process can get you there.

NathanDavis · Answer

be yourself... unless you suck 
 
 then better up yourself

Tomisworthless · Answer

If you're authentic self is desirable then be yourself, if your not then you have to be someone you're not to even have a shot, then overtime once she falls for you you can be more yourself. Only people saying be yourself or be confident are the hot guys that life and its opportunities fall into their laps

purplepoppy · Answer

It's dumb advice. Some people have to be told who they are just isn't good enough and many need telling they're behaviour is inappropriate. Society doesn't function by allowing people to be themselves, we have to conform to standards.

lightofdarkness · Answer

That's remarkable idea and everyone needs to accept this. I'm tired of who dont theirself and their characters' Why is too hard to accept yourself and try to understand it?

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I mean... what else are you going to do? Pretend to be someone else? Reminds me of that movie 'Split' where the dude has multiple personalities.

Lionman95 · Answer

I don´t like the prase because it´s too wide and therefore empty to me. "Be yourself" sounds like an advice but it´s not. It´s rather a substitute.

Anonymous · Answer

it's both good and bad advice the good part is to stand firm on your principles no matter what the bad part is to remain stagnant and glorify a version of yourself you shouldn't glorify

ihateTaylorSwift · Answer

some people are okay with the real me but not others being myself is one thing but doesn't mean everybody gonna like it I get on people nerves or they wanna jump my bones  That's just Life

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

I adapted to it in high school pretty well, wasn’t super popular but I had very close friends that I loved very much.

sage2021 · Answer

Just be yourself if you are a good person and not an MS-13 gang member

MemeSupreme · Answer

it's true usually but you're not supposed to take it literally where you break social norms lol

thatshydork · Answer

I think it’s one of those things that’s a lot easier said than done.

MoonFace2 · Answer

It’s good advice. However, people should further elaborate on that, to explain to younger people how to do this in the best way.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Its valid advice to anyone who isn't being themselves, provided their true self isn't a psychopath.

exitseven · Answer

Good advice. Having to fake being somebody else is not my idea of a good lifestyle.

princeofromance · Answer

That all depends on what kind of self you are. If you are a person who does not so nice things, then I would suggest changing for the better over being yourself.

SleepingHazard · Answer

Be true to yourself, but don't be an asshole.  That should work better.

dragoblack · Answer

The "just be yourself" can give a lot of women "the ick" if you play videogames or you're just straight up a genuinly kind person.

Anonymous · Answer

People say it but they don't really mean it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Could be good, could be awful. Depends upon the context.

Still-alive · Answer

It's not a guarantee it'll work however it is 9/10 required for it too work

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

It's good advice. You feel far more free and comfortable. If people don't like it, too bad.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

It’s horrible advice. What if yourself sucks?

Godihateyou · Answer

Terrible advise. If I listened i would be in jail. I am a terrible person.

Anonymous · Answer

Good advice unless you're kind of a a$$hole.

Caroline91 · Answer

It works for me, even as I keep evolving.

4ngelic · Answer

in relation to dating or just in gen?

Babygirl_S · Answer

They don’t let you be yourself

NicholasRedone · Answer

More true than blue 🔵💙

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Honest is the best policy always

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's not a very good advice.

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

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What do you think of the advice “just be yourself”?

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What do you think of the advice “just be yourself”?

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