How to deal with an abusive father when he's 73?

[Anonymous]

I'm 40 and my whole life I've watched my dad yell at my mum.

He's never hit her but even the verbal abuse is damaging for your mental health.

We've tried to tell her to divorce him but she said she will never leave him.

He still yells at her and I'm sick of it.

I hate him so much and I want nothing to do with him.

Is there any way to try and get her to leave?

I told her she can live with me for the rest of her life.

She's 68 and I hate seeing her so miserable.

I don't know what else to do.

[joehypo1]

I have dealt with my step dad for a long time let me tell you that growing up. I would rather of been beaten than the things that I went through it a long story but Im pretty sure he killed my mom and he has tried to kill me several times , I get some satisfaction knowing that he will die alone but between him and my mother there was a lot of shitty things that have happened to me and im still dealing with today its very hard when your alone and trust knowbody the war that goes on inside if me is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with the one thing that i take from. all thats happened is respect i try and treat every one with respect even if i do not get along with them. Maybe sit down and talk to his sometime or may record a few things and show him sometime , I can't stand the way I look or sound so I know that would work on me

[Jersey2]

You need to have a quite conversation with him. He will argue so watch how you approach it. It is a “stop being an asshole” conversion but you have to sell it in order to be successful. Think about what he will accept in the form of an argument to give up this ingrained habit. In the end, be ready for a no. And then you will need to make a decision if you tell him off or accept it.

Starter pack: You are too old to be throwing tantrums. Don’t you see what this is doing to mom. That is my mom you are tormenting. Try and control your anger, walk out of the room if you must. Where does this come from? Was your house like this growing up? It hurts her, don’t be that guy.

[exitseven]

Have you taken into consideration how your mother would pay her bills if she divorced your father?

[Asker]

I have yes. I told her she can live with me. I have a spare room and she can stay at my house. She is still working.

[Abbycado]

If it has been going on all her life and she hasn't left, she isn't now.

[In_Trance]

You've posted this before

[Asker]

And?

[In_Trance]

Don't do that

[jahaims]

Cut him off. Your mom is just stupid

[MasterKS]

Its too late, what you were doing till 40?

[Asker]

Still trying. I've tried my whole life

[MasterKS]

@asker what you did?

[MasterKS]

@asker I had deal with similar situation sometime back and I know how frustrating it is.

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear. I've tried talking to him and my mum separate and together. Nothing works. He never wants to be wrong, he's always right. She never takes his side.
He's worse than a toddler.

[MasterKS]

@asker can we follow so I can give some advice from my experience I deal with? if you feel so.

[Factual_person]

Have a long discussion with him