Have you ever felt like you met someone who was "the one" and 2-3 weeks later you have nothing to talk about... How does that spark fade? What happens to it? What changed?
Why do sparks fade between people?
- 4.5K opinions shared on Other topic.
Usually this happens for one or more of the following reasons:
- The person you THOUGHT was "the one" (a ridiculous concept to begin with) before you really knew anything about them became much less attractive once you got to know them a bit better.
- The person doesn't feel the same (or not as strongly) about you.
- The person isn't making an effort to engage with you, leaving you feeling like you're talking to a brick wall.
- The person is fine, but their family or background or situation is so bad that you lose any interest in being with them.
The bottom line with any of these, for the folks this happens to: you let yourself get attached TOO QUICKLY, before you really knew anything about this person. That's a bad trait to have, and one that is going to cause you lots of pain and grief. Learn to withhold your attachment until at least a few dates in, and only AFTER you've gotten to know them, and "interviewed" them for compatibility with you. Be strong enough to let them go if you find major areas of incompatibility, because those things will break you up eventually anyway, and why get attached and waste all that time with a relationship that's doomed to fail from the start?
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What changed?
In my personal opinion (and hypothesis), you did.
We are humans we adjust to our situations, sometimes for the worse.
What I think happens sometimes when we fall in love is that we stop being in love with ourselves and life, which is pretty normal, and we focus on being in love with someone else. There you have it, we focus on someone else.
What are we drawn to? We are drawn to excitement, solving mysteries, and most of all individuals.
Just because you found someone new to love does not mean you have to stop loving yourself and figuring out what else you love.
I understand a relationship takes some time, attention, and energy but you have to make room for yourself and your own personal happiness. I think that if you remember this than you would see a change in your perspective and experience.
You're BF/GF is not the rise and end of the world so stop bragging about it on FB because it annoys us link we know you're more interesting than that (this is directed at everyone).
i beg to differ, love is actually a drug. you think you get that "in love" feeling when your brain releases dopamine. & if you don't feel like you like them after a few weeks, then either they're not the one for you, and you know it, or you yourself are just like that, you get bored easily in relationships, but it doesn't mean you won't find anyone. You will find someone that you don't lose interest in quickly, and when you do, hold on to them.
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That person is clearly not "the ONE" if emotions concerning the individual can fade so quickly. Its more like infatuation.
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8Opinion
- 7.6K opinions shared on Other topic.
To make it short, it's because one or both people don't take the time, effort, dedication, and selflessness to maintain the spark.
A spark can be maintained...if both people have the commitment and maturity to keep it going.
Sadly most people in the USA of all ages lack that selfless maturity to do so. -
because love isn't a feeling, it's a decision. a couple gets passed the feely good honeymoon stage of their relationship and things get real, life isn't a fairy tale and TV shows that say relationships are supposed to be easy if that person is the one, are full of crap, that's why people are always getting divorced, because no one wants to fight for the relationship they're in anymore. you have to ask yourself "is this person and our relationship worth fighting for?", because if you base your relationship on feelings of lovey dovey-ness, then you will end up separating
fight the good fight! - 378 opinions shared on Other topic.
Its normal.
Love is a phase and there are several phases, but if you try to tell yourself or the other one you're not in love and they cry or get sullen or moody then you're lying. If you thrive on doing that- yanking his chain, or bringing yourself to the brink just to feel it then you need a sweeter man maybe or else you have to try to train the one you have so it looks right to you. Retrace your steps and ask "What was it you liked about me in the beginning?" -
They fade because that person is no longer new. You learned all these great things about them, and got to know them and their personality. But once you know them and know the type of person they are you need to make a decision on whether you still have an interest in their life after that. Most of the time after that initial period is over and both people kind of go back to their normal routines, the interest dies.
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There are always sparks when you meet someone new.But if they where truly your one and only.Then the sparks would never fade only intensify.Love will never fade if it is pure and real.Such is the same for romance it never fades it just needs some thought in it.Love needs work as well.But the sparks should never fade.But that is just what I think
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trying to do to much at one time can definitely do that. try to space your time with each other, really leave some mystery in the relationship.
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The same reasons people wan't a new phone every year these days...
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because they are boring people. if you're not finding out something new about them everyday (even if you think you've gotten all of it already) then you're going to become dull and boring, thus the spark fades
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