What's the difference between a guy chasing you and stalking you?

[Anonymous]

I tend to think of stalking in old fashioned terms - showing up at your house, calling without you wanting him to, ect.

But what are the differences between the two?

[markml]

There is both a legal difference and a psychological difference.

First, what is not stalking:

"Can't take a hint" is not stalking. Simply feeling uncomfortable or awkward being around him does not mean he is stalking you either. These things may be very annoying but by themselves are not enough to be considered stalking.

What is stalking:

He repeatedly invades your privacy, learns stuff about you he has no right to know. He follows you home from work, without you telling him where you live. If you did tell him where you live, you can tell him not to show up again and he needs to respect that. He calls you many times when you tell him not to call, and you have to change your number to avoid him. All these things meet the legal definition of stalking I believe.

Psychologically, the difference is that stalking always escalates. Stalking means the guy does not respect your boundaries at all.

It's not stalking if a guy keeps asking you out no matter how many times you reject him. That's called being dense, being stubborn. The guy annoyingly may not be willing to give up, but he still limits his interactions to those that are socially acceptable, and is careful not to cross the line. There is no line for a stalker. That's the main, and very important, difference.

[aMuse]

If a person is psychically following you around, showing up to your home uninvited, messing with your like (i.e. screwing with your property, cracking into your email and computer, etc.) and stuff like that and you directly tell them to stop but they continue to do so then I'd say that's stalking. If some guy just tries to call you a few times and leaves messages on your answering service and you ignore him, that's not stalking... You directly need to express to them that you are not interested and tell them to stop contacting you and to leave you alone. If they keep at it after you tell them to stop then it moves into the harassment category.

[aMuse]

*life

[Jonny_]

I'd agree with rthomas43, as silly as it sounds everyone would definitely tolerate a lot more from someone they're into. Other than that, there is no real difference it's essentially the same thing described using two different words meaning something similar. As in stalking is definitely unwanted attention, chasing just suggests someone is putting effort into talking to you/seeing you and you aren't that fussed.

[Anonymous]

A guy chasing you will always be with you, no matter what. He will try to get your attention.

The stalker would lay there silently, and watch your every movement.

[rthomas43]

Whether or not the guy is good looking.

[abundantlyrich]

the issue of respect and safety comes to mind.

[Anonymous]

If you tell him to stop and he doesn't.

[Anonymous]

stalking crazy, chasing is nice