What is your opinion of a woman who spanks her kids and nephew/niece?

[martyfellow]

Even in front of other people..She says it's her duty as a mother, sometimes.

Updates

+1 y

She's a single, divorced mom, BTW

[ketfoen]

I honestly used to think like you and felt the same way, most in part because I got the smackdown from my mother a lot growing up, which she utterly denies these days.

I thought I was also gonna spank my kids, but now I'm a daddy myself, I can't do it and if my wife does it, I think I'll spank her afterward ( she might like it though ).

It all depends on the kids, some just don't know when to quit and will try to get their way no matter what, you can go the passive approach and just ignore them, like the mother you described or do the aggressive approach and scream your head off, so they start to cry.

Both approaches are bad and frowned upon by most people witnessing your approach to parenting.

My approach to getting my daughter to do what I want or denying her that lollipop is just saying in a calm and assertive voice "No" then I just stare her down, till she looks away and grabs my leg. End of story.

My wife tells me, my daughter is getting my stare of looking her down. I told her she can try, but it won't work with me.

She also listens to her mom pretty well, after concessive explanations.

I just stare like a wolf.

[martyfellow]

I was nefver spanked in my household,so I keep an open mind about this. But at times, seeing how many kids behave these days...

[ketfoen]

Oh, I wasn't a cookie growing up and must have deserved 30% of all spanks, but after hitting a child I think it starts to become routine and you start to hit the children for every little thing that doesn't need capital punishment.

[7gnat]

Great job at being a dad. You are a lucky man

[ketfoen]

ty

[Confucius16]

If a woman spanks her children, then that's fine. I can't judge her. But if she does it in front of other people, then that is degrading and humiliating. Furthermore, it says something about her ability to teach her kids, if her punishments aren't working, then she has to change her way of dealing with the kids.

If kids are running around, it's better to teach them to have good manners. Unfortunately, this depends on the parent. If the parent is unable to be a good role model, then what she tells the kids will have no effect.

Perhaps she knows no other way to take care of her kids. Spanking may create resentment and hate, so it's not really a duty to spank kids. Maybe she does that because she feels stressed and overworked at her inability to handle her kids, especially since she's divorced.

But why is she spanking her nieces/nephews? I think that's where I would draw the line. I think spanking her own kids makes sense, but kids who aren't her own? That is a little over the line, in my opinion, unless she's taking care of them because those kids parents have passed away or something.

[jamiejean1021]

I was spanked as a kid, and one time it was in a store (only once as I never misbehaved again in public) and my parents spanked our bare butts!

I could understand the concern in spanking another parents child, but, it depends on the family. When I was being babysat by another family member, they had the authority to spank me. If my parents were around though, they would take me to my parents to be spanked.

I have no kids of my own but I do have a 2 year old niece and 5 and 7 year old cousins that I babysit often, and they get spanked when they're naughty. It isn't the first option, I warn them once, put them in time out and if it persists, they get spanked.

Example: My 4 year old cousin was running on the deck around the pool. Had she continued to disobey, she could have gotten hurt. That deserved a spanking after being given a warning AND a time out.

[abra_b]

Mild spankings are OK, but it needs to be reasonable and with an explanation for what the kid did wrong. Just hauling off and smacking on your kid because they annoyed or frustrated you shows a real lack of discipline and makes the kid resentful. I've had both kinds in my life, and I didn't learn anything from the out-of-control fits of anger.

I think the best way to make today's kids better behaved is to feed them less sugar and to help them play some active games instead of sitting inside all day. I can't believe how much sugar and artificial coloring kids eat today!

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I wish more people would spank their children. I don't mean beat them, but I can't tell you how many times I've been in a store FIGHTING the urge to run over kids with my cart because they're misbehaving so badly and their stupid parents are just ignoring it.

[martyfellow]

Me too Sparrow!

[ketfoen]

So it was you who tried to run me down after I got the last box of Lucky Charms. Damn, hit and run aisle carting has to stop.

[Opinion Owner]

Shouldn't have stolen my Lucky Charms!

[ketfoen]

Next time visit the supermarket across the street that sells the inspired version Moldy Charms.

Anyway's I got there first and had first pick :P.

[Opinion Owner]

Next time, you can keep the cereal but you'll lose *your* lucky charms :-P haha!

[ketfoen]

Are you threatening me to take away my lucky rabbits foot. I have to warn you, if you steal it it will bring your unworldly bad luck. Birds will poop on your head all day and rats will sleep in your bed and cockroaches will appear in your cocoa puffs. You are warned, stay away, stay away, stay away. Muwahahahaha. :-)

[Opinion Owner]

Psh, is that all you got?! You just described my typical Monday!

You don't scare me!

[7gnat]

I HATE roaches in my Cocoa Puffs. It makes me cookoo

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, it bugs me :-P

[ketfoen]

ha ha, this will become your typical Saturday from now on, weekends ruined forever. ha ha

[Opinion Owner]

You evil genius! Grrrr

[ketfoen]

Pwned!

[Sparkling]

Depends on how often she does it. Sometimes kids behave really bad and need a harsh reprimand, and spankings are harsh. If she does it for minor infractions and/or do it often (say more than once a year) then she's likely just lazy and uses spanking for a to-go reprimand, which I really don't like, and doubt that it'll really give results...

[martyfellow]

Not very frequently, only when she has tried other things for a while. Or if the kid embarrasses her in public, she doesn't put up with disrespect from any of the family!

[Faircity]

People who criticize her either haven't raised kids, or they have out-of-control kids, or they live in some kind of protected enivronment, with grandparents around all the time.

The rest of us should resort to spanking occsionally. I've found that if you do it once or twice when they are young, you don't have to do it again when they are older.

Some adults I know could benefit from a spanking, too!

[abundantlyrich]

Some kids need a good spank on the butt when they misbehave.

I wound't judge if she's doing it to her own kids but if she's doing it to her niece. That's a whole another story.

[martyfellow]

Well, she often has her nephew and niece living with her, and I guess she figures she'll let them all have it!

[abundantlyrich]

That's fair. they were in her territory.

[douride2]

I'm surprised by the comments men are against most women say the occasional spanking is OK. I have to agree I was spanked when I was young & I turned out fine. But there is a fine line between spanking & abuse.

[martyfellow]

Women are more attuned to the reality of rearing kids, often more or less on their own, like this woman.

[Bluestatedad]

I agree. I was spanked by my mom as a kid and it taught me to respect others and follow the rules. Sometimes it was in front of other people, if I'd misbehaved in front of other people. I deserved the spankings I got.

[aMuse]

I think she's not a very good parent, because she doesn't understand how to handle kids.

[jamiejean1021]

So spanking a child automatically means you don't know how to handle them? What would you suggest doing if your 2 or 3 year old is trying to stick things in an outlet? Do you tell them "no, don't do that?" Or do you smack their hands and tell them it's naughty?!

How about having two kids, you're carrying one child, will having groceries on your arm and holding the hand of another child. The one holding your hand wiggles away and runs out in front of a car in a parking lot and almost gets hit?!

[aMuse]

Like I said "doesn't understand how to handle kids", you're proving what I a said... Try paying attention to your children... Smacking them because they went to the kitchen, got a fork out of a draw that was high up, and tried to plug it into the light socket while you were gossiping with your girlfriend on the phone shows you're a bad parent. Kids demand attention...

[7gnat]

I honestly never (almost never) see a need for spanking. And I think spanking in public is foolish as it can be seen as abuse by others and introducing more issues.

[ketfoen]

Yes, my thoughts exactly.