What is your opinion of a woman who spanks her kids and nephew/niece?

Question

Even in front of other people..She says it's her duty as a mother, sometimes.

ketfoen · Accepted Answer

I honestly used to think like you and felt the same way, most in part because I got the smackdown from my mother a lot growing up, which she utterly denies these days.

I thought I was also gonna spank my kids, but now I'm a daddy myself, I can't do it and if my wife does it, I think I'll spank her afterward ( she might like it though ).

It all depends on the kids, some just don't know when to quit and will try to get their way no matter what, you can go the passive approach and just ignore them, like the mother you described or do the aggressive approach and scream your head off, so they start to cry.

Both approaches are bad and frowned upon by most people witnessing your approach to parenting.

My approach to getting my daughter to do what I want or denying her that lollipop is just saying in a calm and assertive voice "No" then I just stare her down, till she looks away and grabs my leg. End of story.

My wife tells me, my daughter is getting my stare of looking her down. I told her she can try, but it won't work with me.

She also listens to her mom pretty well, after concessive explanations.

I just stare like a wolf.

Confucius16 · Accepted Answer

If a woman spanks her children, then that's fine. I can't judge her. But if she does it in front of other people, then that is degrading and humiliating. Furthermore, it says something about her ability to teach her kids, if her punishments aren't working, then she has to change her way of dealing with the kids.

If kids are running around, it's better to teach them to have good manners. Unfortunately, this depends on the parent. If the parent is unable to be a good role model, then what she tells the kids will have no effect.

Perhaps she knows no other way to take care of her kids. Spanking may create resentment and hate, so it's not really a duty to spank kids. Maybe she does that because she feels stressed and overworked at her inability to handle her kids, especially since she's divorced.

But why is she spanking her nieces/nephews? I think that's where I would draw the line. I think spanking her own kids makes sense, but kids who aren't her own? That is a little over the line, in my opinion, unless she's taking care of them because those kids parents have passed away or something.

jamiejean1021 · Accepted Answer

I was spanked as a kid, and one time it was in a store (only once as I never misbehaved again in public) and my parents spanked our bare butts!

I could understand the concern in spanking another parents child, but, it depends on the family. When I was being babysat by another family member, they had the authority to spank me. If my parents were around though, they would take me to my parents to be spanked.

I have no kids of my own but I do have a 2 year old niece and 5 and 7 year old cousins that I babysit often, and they get spanked when they're naughty. It isn't the first option, I warn them once, put them in time out and if it persists, they get spanked.

Example: My 4 year old cousin was running on the deck around the pool. Had she continued to disobey, she could have gotten hurt. That deserved a spanking after being given a warning AND a time out.

abra_b · Accepted Answer

Mild spankings are OK, but it needs to be reasonable and with an explanation for what the kid did wrong. Just hauling off and smacking on your kid because they annoyed or frustrated you shows a real lack of discipline and makes the kid resentful. I've had both kinds in my life, and I didn't learn anything from the out-of-control fits of anger.

I think the best way to make today's kids better behaved is to feed them less sugar and to help them play some active games instead of sitting inside all day. I can't believe how much sugar and artificial coloring kids eat today!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Frankly, I wish more people would spank their children. I don't mean beat them, but I can't tell you how many times I've been in a store FIGHTING the urge to run over kids with my cart because they're misbehaving so badly and their stupid parents are just ignoring it.

Sparkling · Answer

Depends on how often she does it. Sometimes kids behave really bad and need a harsh reprimand, and spankings are harsh. If she does it for minor infractions and/or do it often (say more than once a year) then she's likely just lazy and uses spanking for a to-go reprimand, which I really don't like, and doubt that it'll really give results...

Faircity · Answer

People who criticize her either haven't raised kids, or they have out-of-control kids, or they live in some kind of protected enivronment, with grandparents around all the time.

The rest of us should resort to spanking occsionally. I've found that if you do it once or twice when they are young, you don't have to do it again when they are older.

Some adults I know could benefit from a spanking, too!

abundantlyrich · Answer

Some kids need a good spank on the butt when they misbehave.  I wound't judge if she's doing it to her own kids but if she's doing it to her niece. That's a whole another story.

douride2 · Answer

I'm surprised by the comments men are against most women say the occasional spanking is OK. I have to agree I was spanked when I was young & I turned out fine. But there is a fine line between spanking & abuse.

Bluestatedad · Answer

I agree.  I was spanked by my mom as a kid and it taught me to respect others and follow the rules.  Sometimes it was in front of other people, if I'd misbehaved in front of other people.  I deserved the spankings I got.

aMuse · Answer

I think she's not a very good parent, because she doesn't understand how to handle kids.

7gnat · Answer

I honestly never (almost never) see a need for spanking. And I think spanking in public is foolish as it can be seen as abuse by others and introducing more issues.

What is your opinion of a woman who spanks her kids and nephew/niece?

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